A journal of the newbie recovering gambler

@aoxbg6d3ji Well done Roxy 👏👏👏. Keep going strong. 💪.

Pink Lady 🩷🍎.

@aoxbg6d3ji Keep fighting Roxy!! Glad to see you are doing well and that 3 months is soon approaching. You've come such a long way in 85 days! Just the mentality and demeanor of your posts alone shows that the work you've been putting in has helped you tremendously. One step and one day at a time, but always moving forward. Don't forget why you started all this in the first place, it might help with the free spins, as maybe you need some more fuel to keep from partaking in those actions. Clearly, you are far better off not gambling, and you are happy 🙂 and being reasonable Roxy (who we really like and support, as I am sure you do to).

Cheers to your successes so far - keep up the positive work and keep being strong for YOU!

JB

Thank you so much pink and JB. It always means a lot to me when people stop by and check in on me. Happily off the free spins and demo gaming now (well for the last week since I stopped). That is just another big step along the road to recovery.

Wishing you both the strongest of wills in your continued recovery, a privilege to be walking down the road at the same time 🙂 

Day 89

And I'm on here surfing the crest of an urge wave. I know full well why this is, I'm feeling super anxious at the moment. Job interview earlier and I really want it. Horrible suspicion I was so anxious I didn't give the best account of myself. So trying to tell myself it doesn't matter, I probably didn't get it and that's OK. I have a job anyway, so I'll be fine. 

I have all blocks in place and gambling is currently impossible. So I couldn't actually do it anyway, but it doesn't stop the mind starting to mull over any options to overcome it. But I've hard a serious word with gambling Roxy, and now sensible Roxy is re reading her diary and reminding herself why she hates gambling gambling Roxy so much. I think now some mindfulness would be useful, so that's what I'm about to do. 

Just for today I will not gamble. 

Excellent stuff sensible Roxy. Glad to see you reading your diary and keeping the gambling hatred high. That’s exactly what I do. 

Best of luck with the job interview results. Fingers crossed for you. I bet you gave a much better impression of yourself being gf. If you were gambling still you would have been even more stressed and your mind wouldn’t be in it, probably remembering last nights losses. Hopefully they saw the real Roxy, sensible Roxy and it goes in your favour.

Stay strong 💪 

Hi Fish, thank you so much for stopping by. Unfortunately I was not successful as I didn't have as much experience as the successful candidate. But feedback was very positive, and am now going for another job that's more for a brand new band 6 but same pay, so fingers crossed 🤞. 

Most importantly although it was a knock to my confidence, I did not gamble. And tbf the urge was fairly short lived. Gambling Roxy still showing signs of life, but she's on life support. Not sure I'll ever be able to flip the switch and get rid of her for good, but I'm keeping her squared away and ignoring her. 

I was also able to challenge my thoughts and have a resilient mind set (onwards and upwards!). It's not like I don't already have a decent job :). 

All in all, it's not going too badly. 

Today is day 90.

Just for today I will not gamble. 

@aoxbg6d3ji Well done Roxy on day90 👏👏👏.

I am sure you will take being successful at remaining g.f, over being successful for the job you did not get! I am a believer in “everything happens for a reason” so maybe this next job you are going for is more for you 🙏.

Take care and remain strong.

Pink Lady 🩷🍎.