I know I have been on here before..quite a few times. I guess everytime I would have a slip up usually involving online slots..which was often, I would come on here..pouring my guts out and then disappear for months on end. I found that is not the way to go about recovering. I installed txnongam on my computer yesterday and its really good so once the free trial goes out i will buy a subscription as the cost is alot cheaper than the risk of slipping up again. I dont intend on disappearing anymore I plan to come by here atleast once a day and write how i feel to start my recovery. Its been nearly a week since i gambled and i know thats nothing to brag about but its a decent start.
Well done Nikki a week is a good start, I myself am on day 1 but i feel good that ive resisted temptation.
I kno there is still along way to go but u have to start somewhere.
Hi Nikki and Bones
There is not a long way to go, believe it or not you are here! It is now in your interest to get stronger in recovery. This is the beginning of new way of life if you want it. It isn't a rose garden unfortunately but it is a better way of life than beating yourself up with compulsive gambling that leads us into self destruction every time bar none! Hang around this time and give yourselves a fair *** of the whip. Take care
Hey guys, so far its day 5 i havnt gambled and im still going strong..no crazy deposits or anything. thanks for showing me support 🙂
keep it up nikki, its day 2 today and I did put £2 on a football bet, but i cant see me ever giving up them if im honest, as long as i only take a couple quid with me and stay of the FOBTs i think ill be ok.
Dont know if anybody else has managed to do this
well i have gone cold turkey for about 3 months straight in regards to slots and bingo because those are the only type of gambling im into..i'm not gonna lie and say i dont like seeing the lights flash when i get that win because i do...its just my problem is when i win its never enough i always have it drilled in my mind that i can double that win or even triple it depending on when i bet big or small. and that only made me chase my losses to the point where i'm overdrawn by about 350 quid. tried to control it when i figured i wouldnt be able to stop full on but that didnt work as i still left my family in the crapper. but i figure if i "cant" gamble ie txnongam or any gambling block software, that cannot be disabled i will be encouraged to stop
As promised i am still here pouring my thoughts into words. i still have my cravings and they are strong so i'm thankful i have that blocking software installed so i dont give in to my temptation. its been a week since i gambled so staying strong still
Hi Nikki
Try not to count the days till you last gambled! Try to think what you could do today that you would enjoy. Going for a long walk might be an idea! I found counting days would set me up to gamble as I thought I deserved it after so many.
Take care
Hey Smiler, you're absolutely right about the fact that counting the days since a last gamble can really set me up for another relapse so a walk sounds pretty good... I do have a hobby for writing so I could get back into that as well.
Keep it up nikki things will be clearer the longer you don't gamble I've slipped a couple of times recently and it's horrible to go back there good luck.
The bear x
Hey bear,
I'm definitely doing alot better than say... almost two weeks ago. i know how slipping up can go as i have done it numerous times with disastrous consequences and wow it really does take a toll on you afterwards..maybe not while youre doing it because youre in a different state of mind but the results are always the same..can never beat the house.
Hey diary..havnt disappeared today so thats a good sign..family and i are struggling abit thanks to me but we're getting by..kinda spending frugally on like a loan in the mean time until we get back up out of the red. but wont be long now so im praying.
well..its sunday..been a few weeks since my relapse so its pretty impressive for me. yes i still have my urges and i want to have a go at a few slots but im fortunate that i have the software that prevents me from doing so. i hope one day that i wont need the software and i'll be able to just say no on my own as i have been sick of the repercussions i inflicted on myself and family.
Hi Nikki
Well done for staying focused and committed and continuing to write in your diary. I am sure you will find that if you continue to do so, this will really help. I joined here on 18th Jan 2013. Just before Christmas, I got some really strong urges to gamble, probable due to the usual financial stresses Christmas brings with it. For those couple of days, I just made sure I cam on here, mostly to read other diaries but also, new members. This really helped me to see how far I had come and also, took me right back to that awful day when I had really hit rock bottom.
I have found having a block on my laptop has been the best thing to just completely "stop me in my tracks" whenever I have had any thoughts of gambling.
Take care and remain strong.
Feb.
Hey FEB, thanks for the support..and yes these urges that come to me are usually do to us having little amount of money on us especially when a big expense hits us ie christmas or even tax season. and i find that when I have relapsed it struck me hard as i was left with alot less than i had to begin with. but the blocking software i have now really is the best thing thats ever happened to me on my computer as it really does stop me from being stupid and desperate
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
