A way out

Hi there,

I can empathise with you so much. Whilst I have never used a roulette machine, the feelings you get are the same as me.

I only signed up yesterday and looking around this forum there seem to be some really supportive people who will understand what we are going through.

I wish you the very best. Go for that run today and I hope this will be the start of a happier you.

Hi movingonup..Welcome....been there same as you...had a good win...cleared all debts and bills...didn't realise I had a problem....bla bla. ...fast forward couple years....all spare...and lots that wasn't spare shoved into a slot machine...sucked in by those dam on line sites.....like you ...thought...what me...how did that happen...I'm not a daft person....and no none of us are...it's just how it happens....so now we have to deal with it...Ok...debts can be sorted...its only money...and that's not me beeing flippant. ..it's me saying I have let go of my losses...dreawn a line under them and said no more goes in a dam slot machine....relationships..I'm sure with time ...effort...and understanding on both sides these can be 're built....our feelings of guilt...self hate for all the lies....well I'm not 100% on that one yet...still suffer pangs of that emotion...but am sure these feelings will soften....not gambling again...that one I've got covered with blocks....so that's sorted....now it's down to good old will power...and ignoring all those voices that say go on ...one spin won't hurt....ahh...but it will because as a gambler in only one spin away from disaster. ..but taking one day at a time seems to make it easier for all these plans to fit into the journey....blimey....that was a fair old rant....but hey ho ...better to get it out....anyway....I wish you all the best x

Thanks guys!

That's it! It seems to be the whole "go on just one more deposit... One more spin.. Etc etc"

It does seem like a small step but I just had an email with a free spins alert and I deleted and self excluded, must've been a random one I missed yesterday.

Small step but as you've said, and a lot of others on here too, it's just taking it day by day. Baby steps to start. I think I get all dramatic about it when I'm in a guilty, embarrassing frenzy and stop. And I end up craving it more and putting too much pressure on myself.

Things are going to be easy for a while as I'm in a minus and I don't get paid for a week or so. As per. I've got a lot to pay out for, debts obviously, and I'm well into a payday loan cycle (once again) but I'm hoping over the next few months I can get myself on my feet again financially and concentrate on no more bloody spins!! I'm sick of it!

It makes me sick to the stomach to think of all the money I've wasted over the years. I think I'll try to hold on to that feeling and use it to combat my cravings once I've been paid again. That's when it'll get difficult!

Thanks for making me feel like I'm not the only one. It does make you feel quite isolated.

Didn't go for that run... Wasn't quite in the right headspace after a long day at work! But I've got plenty of time any day now!

Line drawn. Forget the money lost. Move forward. 🙂 x

Second full day no slots.

I gave up smoking today too for lent. Well mainly as I've got no money!

Feeling positive although I'm sure it's only feeling that way right now because I have no money! End of the month (payday) will hit and it'll get tough. Need to keep in my head that I've drawn a line at the money lost and stop trying to chase a win that I'm never going to get.

Trying to fill in plans to keep me busy from payday onwards, mostly weekends. Always harder at the weekends I'm not doing anything. Actually saying that even when I had plans I would go out of my way to make time for an hour or so gambling session!

Make your plans and stick to them. Keep the slots out of your head.

Plodd along steady my love...little tiny safe steps are better than massive leaps. ...I admire you cutting the f**s as well...no way I could do that at the moment...don't put to much pressure on yourself...you need all your fight to quit the gambling....have a good day xx

Ok so I have been smoking but still not been gambling, again at the moment is easy and I do keep telling myself that in preparation for when I'm paid and my bank account is looking healthier! I want to keep it look healthy!

Been working out my finances and emailing the companies I owe money to as I'm actually at a minus every month after taking out so many payday loans. Hoping they'll accept my proposals for payment so life can go a bit smoother or I'll end up getting into a bigger mess than i thought I ever would do.

I want to actually pay everything off and start having some savings aside by the time it comes round to July/August maybe before then. And I can treat myself with a holiday or something.

Having everything down on paper makes me see how much I've spent on slots and the mess I've got myself into because of it. Going to look at it regularly so I have a reminder of what I've been doing to myself and why I need to stop going there.

I've also downloaded some games on my phone to keep my hands and mind busy when I'm not concentrating on other things.

Hoping that'll ease things slightly when payday does roll around.

Technically day 6 but I'm going to start counting properly when I've been paid again (as I've had no money to be able to gamble since Monday anyway), hoping I'll keep it going. Need to wake up. No more slots.

Well done you....and I can I understand the need for a smoke.....maybe in a few months time you can try again.....concentrate on the gambling first....you are doing great xxx

Thanks loxxie, never thought it'd be so hard. Think I was in denial for such a long time just thinking I was having fun and I could afford it.

Looking back I think some of the time it wasn't even about winning money but habitual. Sometimes I wouldn't even realise but I'd deposit £50 and keep playing not even minding the balance but just waiting to play the bonus game or get some free spins, then before you know it I'd ran out of money and was depositing again.

It makes me sick the more I think of it really. How easy it is to get sucked in. And I can't believe I've been doing it for about 4-5 years now getting worse as the years have gone by!

The amount of money I could have saved by now too!! I have hardly any outgoings other than debt now. So I actually would have been able to do so much, probably have a deposit for a house by now!!!!! Eugh. Honestly all I've been thinking about the last few days and I make myself angry haha! Silly really!

Anyway, hope you're doing ok too loxxie.. I seen you're grandson was due soon? Any news? X

You're doing great....yes it makes us feel sick...the money we have lost....but you have to let that go
..that was yesterday...in the past....gone....today is the only certain thing....and that's why we have to do one day at time....I loved playing....and yes I miss it....but it has messed my head and life so much...it's just not worth it....like you...I never thought I would get sucked in....by that's what happens...I woul love to play for an hour a day....and deposit say £20 a week....but we no that will never happen....so we have to say ...no more...ever...hoping over time the urge fades....untill we reach a point that we don't even think about the slots...debts...yes...scary but it's only money...ok...that sounds complacent. .but it's because I've had to let go of the losses...they will get paid...when I can...but I'm not beating myself up about it...can't let any pressure send me running to hide behind a slot machine again...so one day at time for me....yes my grandson has arrived...all safe and sound...thanks....hope you've had a good weekend...if I remember from your profile...you are young...so have your whole life ahead of you....and it's yours...go love it ...gamble free xxx

Congratulations!! One more reason to keep you going ey!

Yeah money has never been anything to me.. More the reason I've probably got myself in this mess. I still feel like I'm in denial but the more I read every day the more I realise.... And I think that's something I need to keep doing until it really sinks in.

Sound silly as I'm in such a financial mess, but I'm going on a trip to Latvia beginning of March with a friend. Booked it today on a very cheap deal and I'm paying her back on payday. She broke up with her boyfriend yesterday (bad timing I know with Valentine's Day today and all!! He's an absolute s**t and I never liked him so I'm glad!! Good riddance!). So I'm hoping that'll give me something to focus on when payday rolls around as I'll need to think about getting to the airport and spending money and not being an embarrassing mess and having no money whilst we're out there.

I think keeping busy is key for me. I absolutely killed it with the housework today haha! Sounds silly but kept my mind completely focused and didn't think of gambling at all! I felt so proud having done so much.. Was literally bordering a spring clean!

Anyway I need to keep focused and keep my hands and mind busy. The line was drawn on Monday. Money has been lost that I need to forget about... I'll never get it back!! No more chasing. Sort myself out and move forward.

Thanks for all your encouraging words loxxie, it really does help having someone tell me how it is and how it will be having walked in my shoes and doing it yourself! X

Well done ...yes...read...read...read...it has helped me so much...I think it's important to treat ourselfs whilst trying to kick this addiction....we are only human and gambling has stole so much from us all...and not just money....a trip sounds great...quality time with a mate...change of scenery...all good.....as for the spring cleaning...amazing.... come do mine : ) you are doing so well my love...remember...little steps xx

Haha! I would do if I could! Love a good spring clean! Its therapeutic!

Im trying to come on here as much as I can to keep my mind busy and yeah.. Like you said.. Read read read!! But again trying to keep myself busy otherwise also. Dreading payday rolling around. Trying to keep the embarrassment from friends and family is the worst thing and I know I can't tell them as they'd never have an understanding of what it feels like or what I'd be going through. I've thought through it and it just wouldn't be beneficial as they'd judge me and put me under more pressure than I'm already under. So it's a massive relief to get support on here and know I'm not alone!

just a quick check in tonight as I have a friend over tonight and it's been great actually! No thoughts of gambling (only just to check in here really and let you know I'm still here and still going)

Catch up in a day or so! Hope your grandson is well loxxie and you're enjoying every moment (my mum keeps pestering me to have her grandchildren!! Haha!) I can only imagine it's an amazing feeling! I'm sure it's something that is keeping you going!

X

Hey friend...glad to hear its going ok...I understand about not wanting to tell some people.and totally agree with all you said about the implications of telling them..and I think as long as we are actively trying to kick this addiction. ..then we don't need to go totally public...glad you've enjoyed some time with friends...simple things that we had forgotten about whilst our nose was stuck in a slot machine....grandson doing well thanks....and yes I'm sure your mum does say that....plenty of time my love...your young...get this vile addiction under control....and the worlds your oyster xxxc

Sorry it's been a while, been keeping myself busy and getting some overtime in work all week to keep me going and boost the income! Payday today and fighting the urges, out tonight for a couple of drinks with friends and going to be difficult after I've had a few drinks (inhibitions and any sense I've got seems to go out the window when I've had a drink!!)

I am knackered after all the overtime I've clocked in so hoping I'll just have a few drinks and knock out as soon as I get home and into bed!

Been thinking a lot this week as well and boredom has always been the trigger so like I said plans plans plans! Booked myself out until the end of the month so hoping I won't get too much time to think about it then the habitual side of things will ease off once I have time to myself again.

Taking it bit by bit. Need to stay strong now I've been paid.