Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

Fantastic Duncs, really hope i never have them thoughts that my dog will ever be faster than yours, even though i havent got a talk.

Who the hell are we to ever judge and i get completely what you said in your last thoughtful post.

Wishing you a wonderful day my cyber friend.

Strength, honor and continue being kind to yourself...Paul

Hey Duncs ..

Your post there as usual was fab and has struck a chord with folks ...

I can relate a bit too ..not in the same way but in a holsitic way in that I think whoever we are we are all almost programmed to be disatissfied with what ever we have. The whole job of marketing of course being the thing that does that ..you have a perfectly good car then are told its not good enough and you need another one or you need to upgrade your house,Job,wife etc!

I also see that oneupman ship....people competing with each other and all that..

I call it mood altering...for me it manifests in being different. I don't so much want more or to compete,I just want out of the mainstream..that's my way of mood altering and I do it when I'm not comfortable in my own skin in the here and now.

The thing is that for a lot of the time in our pasts we have been "out " of our selves haven't we? Whereas the simple things like walking the hounds keep us present and "there"..

I also notice that people are there but not there...physically but their mind is racing with competing or looking over at what others are doing ...also had a ramble there ..lol

R and D xx

evening diary.

thanks for the posts folks, I have truly thrown all I have in the locker at recovery and I do feel a better man for it.

To this I know other folk would see my opinion of recovery as over inflated, that my positive outlook is somewhat of a smoke screen.

With honesty I look in the mirror each day and I feel comfortable with what i see staring back, with that comes a confidence and belief.

The world is entitled to judge me, human nature I conclude, me I have learnt and will continue to learn how to enjoy life

and through this I have myself learnt to be less judgmental and that judging a book by it's cover is not the way for me.

Financially I aspire to provide for those I love and to gamble upon those for material gain is not something for me.

As i am a compulsive gambler and first and foremost i choose abstinence. Because without it i know that fella who stares back each morning would have that smile wiped away.

my name is Duncan No bet today.

stepping forward never back.

Hi Duncs

Great post and my apologies for not posting for a while, reggretably i have been stepping back but i am now well on the road to recovery again !

This disease teaches us a lot about ourselves, especially the part we hate and and one great salvation is that we know it is wrong, all of us and that is why we want to stop ! even if we are winning we are not happy, that is a fact. We are here only a short while on this planet, we have to enjoy its simple pleasures to the full.

Well done to you and your continued sobriety, your a better man for it.

Dark Place

Dunc I just wanted to say your words are inspirational and all any of us want is to be comfortable in ourselves so we have inner peace -this can only be achieved by continuing to abstain from gambling! I wish you continued success!!

Hi there

strangely cannot put my thoughts in print but trying to make important changes to my life which will impact on my need to hide in spending sprees and working so far despite many added pressures recently.

Wishes to you and your family.

xxx

Hey Duncs..

Spot on there not judging books by their covers...we all do it but boy ..do we learn that we can be so ŵrong!

Positive in recovery I think is fine ...in the happy clappy world of corporate life I have my reservations lol ...but on here after being in the dark for so long as people have been ...it's great to have a shining light.

I love it to be honest as some days i used to feel like throwing the towel in back in the day ..this time last year in fact!

how things can change eh..

Well ...always forward ...R and D xxx...5 hr shift and quiet..lol x

evening diary

Rach thanks for your thoughts, I do today live life through a half full glass, it is nothing more than that.

Without doubt my gambling was a 100% selfish act, I gambled to within one day of losing the family home, I took food from my family, not just the cream from their lives I at my worst gambled the money for the basic standard for living anyone deserves. why??

because my compulsion to gamble made me consider gambling before anything else, and the saddest thing is I would lie to those folk to my end, truthfully there was nothing that would stop me feeding the punt.

Those folk, Sarah, our children and my mum and Ed all deserved better, they were the true victims in my addiction, the silent casualties, so today through recovery I embrace the chance I am given without shame.

Today I helped finish our lily's room, we painted, I stripped out the closed in cupboard and fixed in hanging rails to create a wardrobe, we fitted a blackout blind and scrubbed the floor back to looking like new, it cost us less than 40quid, less than half of one spin i would have waged during my worst days gambling.

And me i am so happy, so proud because I did gift myself something today, for 19 months I have thrown myself at whatever I can to make myself a better person.

It's not happy clappy by my mind, because like gambling that would be a false afront to appease folk.

Today I learnt again the value of living, what putting effort into something that doesn't directly benefit you can actually do for the soul.

So I will not apologize for relishing what joy the things we do today to enjoy life.

as my dear Ma says 'life is not a rehersal'

I will try tomorrow to better my today, two things will set me upon the way, firstly I won't be feeding my addiction and secondly I will continue to enjoy a half full glass.

This week coming gifts me 600 gamble free days.

all of which have been amazing, truly inspiring.

thanks to all the folk whom have played a true part in this.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hey Duncs

600 days ...wow and wow ...

All I can say is you lead by example my friend and the sheer hard work you put in reaps so many rewards for not just you but your whole family...

How amazing is that?

Just shows in a non happy clappy ..but positive way 🙂 ..( you know what I mean ..lol )that if you think about it that's how important you are to your family....just a total life change in one member of the family has a massive knock on effect in the whole family unit..!!

What's that saying ? Something about the whole being greater than the sum of its parts or something...Anyhooo I know what I mean in my crazy head.

What I'm saying is that 1 plus 1 may not make 2 but make 10!!

The positive benefits of recovery cannot be quantified in words..

Always forward ..R and D xxx

Hey Duncs,

Been awhile my friend, but all of you are in my thoughts, especially my moments of weakness, where the old gambling mind says, oh go ahead, go down and have a spin, that's when i think of my freinds on Gamcare and family who have supported me, and all the folk i've inspired to give abstinence a go, and i resolve to say to my old gambling mind, nope, not today, i will not place a bet and i will continue to rack up the months and weeks of abstinence from my last day of action Jan 7 th 2013. Much congrats to your 600 days gamble free!

Chicagoguy

Hey Duncs,

I'm sorry for a late post, but the way you describe a recovery is the biggest inspiration to me. I know it can be done, and we have a choice each day....and me, the same as you choose freedom.

I am proud of you and want to thank you for helping me to understand what life is all about then fog clears away.

Well done on 600 days....enjoy your freedom and keep making the right choice....it is the gift of life and happiness

Take care

Sandra x

morning diary.

today I caught up on the usual diaries I read and once again read defamatory comments this time again regarding GA.

I am all for a recovery process that is bespoke but to make sweeping statements based on ones opinion is frankly offensive to those who have benefited greatly from GA.

To which I summarize this knowledge is power but a little is ignorance.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

morning diary.

Just enjoyed a catch up with a fella from my GA room, He has four years recovery under his belt, his vice was casino's nothing else and losses exceeded seven figures but he truly has put his losses behind him and it's great to see what this brings in the flesh.

He always has a very open view towards most things and I am privileged to be able to spend time in his company away from the room itself.

Today I spoke with him about the forum and my presence upon it.

He left me with his thoughts, ones he was happy for me to log here.

Like him during my gambling life I believed I had the answers to everything, most of which would revolve around the outcome of a bet.

I would not take advice from anyone and glossed over all the sh#it and destruction i waged with tales of woe and the blaming of everything on everyone else.

Then I walked through the doors at GA and pinned my ears back and listened.

I actually listened. listened to who??

like minded folk, plain and simply folk who had experienced much the same things through there compulsion to gamble and had arrested it. There is no outside influence, the room is funded by contributions from the attending members.

So why listen??

No distractions in the room just an honest bunch of folk trying to better there lives and that of others.

There is no face, no hierarchy, the chairman changes each meeting and there is no obligation.

It is up to you.

So my dear friend pointed out to me today a fact.

in our GA room all are equal.

For the first time in my life I found a place to be heard and not judged for my short comings. the room for me like the fella i enjoyed a coffee with is the ultimate leveller.

So I asked why does it only work for 3 out of 100??

his answer was a question.

How many years before you found your place??

20 my answer.

Regards the forum he posed a question i did not have the answer to.

Does gamcare regard a person who controls there gambling a greater victory than a person who completely abstains, as the institute is industry funded??

he ended by making a quip, Its a bit like visiting the doctor to quit smoking and he prescribes a carton of smokes!!!

food for thought.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hey Duncs

Just a cyber hug coming your way here ..xxx

Ps ..woke up with this mantra in my head ..

"Having had a spiritual awakening ..we practice these principals in all our affairs.

When I read your posts I always think that of you ...as you give away your recovery to keep it ..

R and D xxx

Hi Duncs,

Echoing our friend Rachel's post to you. Thanks! -joanxxx