Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

Morning Dunc.

Hope this finds you well.

Take care.

Best wishes,

gazza

Afternoon diary.

Thanks again for all the kind words they do mean a great deal.

This week has been a busy week starting to sort stuff for the christmas functions which are just around the corner, which means full steam ahead for me and I am in a very good place mentally to do it.

My decision to take a step back from the diaries has freed up a great deal of my spare time, to which I intend to use to the full potential, we have been having a clear out, sold a few things on that auction site, stuff we would have just thrown out, or donated to charity. And low and behold some of the stuff I purchased on a whim and consigned to the back of the cupboard has earnt a pretty penny or two, so the bank balance is looking good, more debt furnished along the way, but without disrupting family living which is a place I could simply not see 20 odd months ago.

The old demon has reered it's ugly head a few times this week, trying to take advantage of my position, to which I have overcome by staring it straight in the eye and telling to f**k right off.

A pal from GA phoned with a question regarding ** *** who are offering a free forecaast on the football results with a cash payout to the winner each week, his question Is it gambling??

Through talking about it we decided, or moreso he decided that for hiom it would start the formulating again, we both know the results of that, my answer is consistant, anything that constitutes taking the enjoyment I today take from sport by making the result important is not something I will be entertaining, like the adverts on the tv I just zone out for a moment until they pass, leaving me to enjoy sport for what it is. SPORT.

Have also this week had the priveledge to share some music tastes with our Joe, a nice trip down memory lane, something now gambling does'nt own I can look back upon the good I have stored in the old grey matter, this week some awesome dub reggae, to which we found some on vinyl in our local record shop!!

sarah has busied herself with xmas card making a source of a few extra pennies no doubt so all in all life is treating me well.

Why??

Because it's simple

My name is Duncan I am a compulsive gambler NO bet since 23/01/2012.

I turn the tender age of 39 in a few days, next weekend to celebrate Sarah and myself are off to brighton to enjoy a gig in a church of all places and a bit of retail therapy. It is about making the right choice.

Stepping forward never back.

Hey Duncs and thank you for swinging by on my diary...yes , the crossover back into more 3d time is one that you are well and truly ready for ..

I'm jealous but in a good way and cheering your decision on...I'm not ready to be re assimilated yet and still need my security blanket...

As often said in 12 step ...the other half is often sicker and more ill than the CG by the time they get help...

Dub reggae eh? ...keep rockin da house maaaan ! Xx

Ps...Inspired now to give you a theme tune Duncs ...just popped into my head..

When I see your posts now they will be accompanied by me singing "Return of Dunc Mac..Return of Duncmac. " in a Mark Morrison styleeee xxx

Also managing to de clutter with eight bags for the charity shop and already taken a load of paintings but do find it difficult as many things linked to happier days.

Still reading on here but having to be more selective as some descriptive diaries talking about the buzz are triggers to me, not their fault but set my imagination going.

Sending birthday wishes as well and so much to look forward to, so many sad stories on here from such youngsters who should have their whole lives ahead of them but as you say if you can do it so can we all.

xxx

afternoon diary

Had to find time to log on this afternoon to log the events of my morning, just so they are there as a stark reminder of how f****d this addiction is, I was gifted a sum of cash, cash that was not accounted for or accountable to anyone, it was not a great deal circa a ton, but my addiction went into overdrive, had me formulating that this is the gift I needed to get back to winning ways, why not celebrate my recovery with a few wins, a no lose situation!!

Well here is what I did, I went to a ladies fashion store and bought My sarah some shoes, a few items of clothing and a selection of knickers to enjoy LOl oh and a terrible shirt for Callum for the princely sum of seven quid in the sale, oh dear fashion for 14 yr olds is shocking !!! lol.

I went to the local shop and put together the change and bought the ingredients for a curry for supper, so instead of odds and ends we will eat like kings, and not a punt in sight, but indeed a stark warning that my relationship with cash is one I am not ready for, 20 months on money in my pocket will just mean I am feeding the thought.

The thought I am working on not having, the constant formulating, the deciept and lies it would bring.

Without doubt I am an addict my brain is and will always have a part that wants a punt, to hell in a hand cart with the consequences it just wants feeding.

Well without doubt I will not be feeding you any time soon my old friend, you can f**k right off.

With irony the money today came from a source who knows nothing about my compulsion, I did some work for them on a consultancy basis and our brief relationship did not revolve around anything other than buisiness, something today I regret, today's situation will never arise again in my life as I will request any renumeration to be paid as a bank transfer and the reason why I am proud of and will mention at the outset.

So today I post as I had a loaded gun handed to me, I had the resolve to put the safety on and for that I am proud.

This addiction will always be there and I will continue to stare it in the eye.

To anyone reading it is simply about making a choice.

My choice is simple, I love my wife too much to risk our relationship at any cost, or odds.

My name is duncan I am a compulsive gambler No bet since 23/01/2012

Stepping forward never back.

P.s Today Must be the day my honourable friend SA commented about my library use!!!

Duncs,

You made me cry....cry happy tears. No words can express how your post made me feel.....choice is ours and believe in change is closer than it's ever been..

Thank you

You proved once again, what is important in our lives...love, understanding, trust and respect. Life has no boundaries and you my friend deserve to take it all back what is yours...and you are getting closer each day...BE PROUD!!

Day at a time

Take care and enjoy ebery single moment of your freedom:-)

Sandra x

Hi Duncan,

Thank u so much 4 ur support when I was down it helped me through. U r an inspiration.

Reading ur last post touched me, I am so glad u made the rite choice ur love 4 ur family shines thru. Keep going Duncan and keep making the rite choice, I know u will!

I hope u and ur family get all the happiness u deserve. I enjoy reading ur progress 🙂

Stay strong xx

Alright buddy,

I slipped up pal, don't worry I am absolutely fine but that good old innings of 226 consecutive days has come to an end I am afraid, this batsman is out but has come out for his second innings.

Thought I would share how I felt with you as you are my best buddy on here. Please read my last few posts and let me know your honest thoughts. I will get back on the straight and narrow now and will carry on the days but by posting 227/228 days which it is today, I feel better looking at it like that rather than putting a big fat '0!' 🙂

Afternoon diary.

Well Andy my friend I have posted a reply on your thread, straight from the heart, no punches pulled just the black and white view.

Yesterday I turned the tender age of 39, to which I had a great day, recieved some lovely gifts and got to enjoy a few hrs Sarah and Duncs time last night as all the kids were out!!!!!;))))

It stuck yesterday that addiction stole so many years of my adult life that in a way the next year is something of a new dawn for me, life will truly begin at 40!!!

The debt I accrued through my addiction will be furnished and without the constant destruction it reaped upon our lives we will truly be able to start to plan for things to achieve in the future.

Next week marks 21 years since Sarah and I first went on a date, something which I am very proud of, we have had a great deal to get through but our three all but grown up kids are the shining light through it all, and all willing our future will be one over run with wonderful memories.

It is all about making a choice, one that will better my tomorrow.

That for me is to face up to the world and say.

My name Duncs I am a compulsive gambler No bet since 23/01/2012

Stepping forward never back.

Happy birthday duncs keep up the great posts mate I just want to say they are appreciated by me you give me strength thank you and congratulations in finding your life again.

Take care

The bear

Hi mate,

Thanks for the black and white view on how you see my situation of which I have absorbed like a sponge to water. I am dealing with this as positively as I can mate, I feel fine, have dusted myself off and am very much back on form. Consecutive days was brilliant I am so proud of myself, I have broken the sequence and have a blip to my name but it won't put me off continuing my good work.

Agreed that the addiction got me, I let it, lost a bit of money, so what, the main thing is I don't let it continue, it stops again here!

I do however accept it might happen again in a lifetime, I am 37, two years younger than you my friend it doesn't mean at all that I am setting myself up for another fall, it is about me being honest with myself.

Really pleased you are progressing brilliantly still, keep up the good work and happy Birthday.

EAGLES!!! 🙂

That last post was a great one duncs, lovely to see the optimism and positive outlook you can get when you show this addiction who's boss, and you start building towards the future.

Hope you had an awesome birthday (sounds like it), and don't worry about life starting at forty, that's not even middle aged these days! Hope the year leading up to the big four-oh is a good one too, and that you continue to get the good things that come without gambling in your life.

All the best

Ryan

Happy birthday Duncs for yesterday ..catching me up now in years .

It's weird because the way you write I always think your older than me in age ....but I guess it's all that wisdom to know the difference that you have learnt my friend xxxxxx

((((D))))) xxx

Happy birthday for the other day. sorry i missed it. Works been mental lately I had planned to get around to everyone on the thread sunday but had to work and then had another mental week. Anyway enough of me moaning, wanna say well done on completing the thread and on your continued success, it really was a pleasure having you on the thread and it was nice to have a good mix of new comers and some of us that are further down the line. I think it served its purpose and was pretty helpful for those involved, i hope so anyway. With that in mind i do plan to do another thread starting next month which i'll put details up for soon. Again would be great to have you on board but as you well know with me im layed back so if you decide to give this next one a miss no worries. Have a great weekend, its great to read that your still going strong and appreciating your new life. Its a great motivation for us all.