addicted to Gambling till today

I felt so much better and relieved for writing my last post but I am having so much emotional and I have to speak about it like I felt so much better when I spoke about my gambling addiction and now I am feeling down again like I am on the edge my head it telling me to play with money I haven't even got like 

.if anyone went through the same think what did u do to stop you thought thinking about gambling?

I know nobody is going to read it so i am going to to write down what my thought are I feel like ths is helping me to get though hard time I am going through right now with my gambling addiction

In million years I would never think that I would get addicted to anything but here I am sad and miserable and I keep comparing myself to other people that they have a nice house , nice car nice clothes I could have it all  but instead I went to gamble all my money , I have a good job , good salary but this was just over the top and I had to put a stop to it TODAY I promise myself i will never gamble again because this has destroyed my life and my relationships with my friends and family of course they don't have an idea that i gamble. That's ways I use this website to confess.. I am glad I found this page so i don't have hide files of paper of my confession of addition to gambling. its time for me to get ready for work and I know its going to be hard because I used to do overtime just so I can gamble my money all the hard work I have done its all gone in the bin like my money went in the bin through playing casino games online.

So I am staring my journey today 

Will keep u update in couple of hours probably 

Hello there, 

Youve made the best start if you really want to stop. 

This is a great place, where hopefully you’ll continue to visit and get lots more advice. 

Most of us here are similar in many ways. I too played the online slots. Gambling gets in your head. It messes you up, to the point you become a different person. And it’s not a nice person, just one that would do anything to gamble. 

I have had spells of abstinence, but need the smallest excuse to start again. I’ve also been struggling recently. No one said it was easy! It’s certainly a case of trying to focus on other things. Every 10/20/30 minutes gambling pops into my head - I have to turn the channel!!!

I wish you the best. Let us know how you’re doing/feeling.

Tizzy xxx

@tizzy1970 

Hi Tizzy 

Thank you very much for a lovely comment , Yes I understand how you feel and yes its definitely not the life we want to live in 🙂 so we have to keep strong even though its not that simple 

I wish you all the best Tizzy xxx

I woke up this morning really stressed out like I haven't even started my day. I used to get that a lot after wasting  my money on gambling, its the thought that you know that u have no money left and feeling hopeless and useless. I still think kow to win some money so I can pay my debt off even though I don't have  no money to play with in my head there is a stupid thought go and play u gonna win (obviously not).  I still have a couple of years to pay my loan , credit card hopefully until the end of this year and overdraft  will probably take me a month go get out clear o*g I am greatfull this page exist

#nomoreplay

Sorry I am just going to post what my thought are in this moment, I just have to let it all out to make myself better.

The worst thing is I realise that I have to work all the time and keep myself busy because when I don't all the demons comes in my head, lucky I am working 14 days straight so that will keep me busy, and I hope 2 weeks is enough for me to get out of this bad habit (probably not ) But I won't give up , This is my last chance , I have been struggling bad for the past 3 years even i wanted to take my OWN life because this stupid son of a b***h took my life away BUT NOT anymore 

PROMISE NOT GONNA TOUCH THIS s**t AGAIN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#NOMOREGAMBLING 

Another day and another day at work , all I did yeasterday was thinking of what I could have done with the money I lost is the last couple of years I know past is the past but I am  stupid isn't but that's how I feel today on the 2and day of Gambling free ,feeling like s**t basically 

if it helps I'm in exactly the same position. 

Lost a fortune which I didn't have and felt like s**t.  I started off on 50p spins and before I knew it I was on a tenner a spin,  then 50 quid fortune spins so literally thousands went in minutes 

After i reflected on what i coulf for myself with the money or the family etc but at the time it doesn't cross my mind. 

I've put an app on my phone to stop online gambling and self excluded from all my online casinos.    Plus I've even unsubscribed from all the gambling streamers I've been watching to try and remove all gambling from my life. 

Be strong, keep focused and take one day at a time

@anonymous2022 

Hi

The serenity prayer helps understand that to accept the things we can not change makes life so much simpler for our self.

If there any thing I can do or say to get my money back. NO.

If this is due to guilt again nothing is achieved with living in the pains of our past.

In recovery we learn to learn from the unhealthy past and to not live in it. 

In time you will achieve so much more with your life.

Being dedicated for your self and becoming selfish in regards your recovery is the best thing you can do for your self.

It simple is just baby steps one day at a time.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave Of Beckenham UK

@anonymous2022 

Hi

I am pleased you are taking your recovery seriously.

For me my recovery is about balance.

It was not healthy for me to be obsessed on any one thing.

What are my needs, what are my needs, what are my goals.

My recovery was a slow healing process to exchange unhealthy habits in to healthy habits. 

Stay focused on what is in hand but also have plans of what is next.

To learn and understand when I was emotionally vulnerable.

My anger indicated that I was not healing my pains. 

My anger indicated that I was not facing my fears. 

My anger indicated that I was not reducing my expectations of people life and situations. 

By me having expectations of people life and situations they were not hurting me I was hurting myself.

My recovery became my surrender, no more fighting myself.

For me to no longer try and escape in my fears to unhealthy habits of any type.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts  

Having a healthy sponsor helps a lot if you are up to it.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave Of Beckenham

Hi

Once you find a healthy recovery you will be able to heal your pains reduce your fears and become so much healthier.

In time you will understand forgiving your self is healthy and to keep beating your self is not productive or healthy.

Understanding your emotionally vulnerable will help you understand what you emotional triggers are.

I like many did not give up gambling from day one.

In the recovery program I would learn to heal my pains and be able to make healthier choices in my life.

Just for today I will not gamble is healthy a healthy choice for me.

By me being completely consumed by my unhealthy addictions was a form of self abuse.

I could not honest with myself.

I could not honest with other people.

All I wanted to do was escape from every one and every thing.

In truth I was running away from myself.

It was a healthy choice to buy your I could not honest food.

That is caring for your self.

May be you woke up this morning crying because it was the pain coming out of you.

It is very healthy to talk about your emotional vulnerability.

It is the path to finding healing and help you make healthier choice in your life today

Thanks.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave Of Beckenham

@dave208 

Thank you Dave for your kind words 

I wish you all the best 

Tace care 

@gadaveuk 

Hi 

Thank you very much for responding to my posts , Yes I agree with 101%

Thank you for giving me strength and very good advice 

Take care 

loads of love

x

Today is the 5th day of gamble free(I mean not free 100%) because in my head there is a thing that keeps telling me to go and play especially when I live not far from the casino venue. 

I know its going to be hard but I am not giving up , I haven't got family on my own ,I only live with my partner , I keep myself busy , like I started drawing and that help me but not all the time , some days I close myself in the room and overthink and I panic. I suppose I have to find something else to keep me busy, like working is not enough, I have been working so much for the past 5 days like I am tired but If I wasn't working god knows where I would be right now (I don't want to know)

I am grateful for each day