An angel came to me

Nonchaser slumbered in her bed the crying done and tears all shed - A tender angel from above gave her hope and a little shove.

I noticed that you posted at 1216 so out of curiosity I googled that number. This is what it said : Angel number 1216 asks you to relax and allow yourself to sense the presence of your angels. Know that you are never alone.

I sincerely hope you can be at peace with yourself, realise your dreams and let go of past mistakes. We are troubled by strong urges to gamble and the road we travel is by no means an easy one. Wherever you may roam I wish you peace, contentment and happy adventures...stephen

Thank-you Stephen. Wow interesting re number. I wish you the same, we have interlinked posts on many occasions as we have both faced our struggles. I also wish you peace and structure

I remember you being gamble free for a while before Christmas because I was too. You were somebody who I travelled the journey with because you were GF for a similar amount of days as I was.

It’s nice to see a familiar name back on the road to recovery.

I really hope this is your time too. I believe it will be 🙂 x

I really feel at peace, Gamstop in place and much stronger blocks, but also so much more now. I know people have their different lows. Mine isn't through money lost, but through waking up one morning and leaving for work an hour early to play a slot that I was playing the night before. Insanity! The realisation of how out of control and abnormal this behavior was, to be my waking thought? This isn't the life I want or the calm I need. It is a self destructive behavior that has wore me down. It's easy to come on here and vent after putting yourself into a financial pickle, but it has to be so much more to stop. I think we all reach this point, the Eureka moment. I feel blessed in my life. Life can be good, I just need to grab my blessings with both hands

Another peaceful Sunday hurrah!

What drives our compulsion? My brain so wants to gamble tonight. I am not worried as I know I won't as my heart doesn't want to. I no longer enjoy it, it is a curse, but why won't my brain heal? Why can't I have normal thoughts away from this disgusting disease?

Thankyou for posting on my diary Nonchaser, I really appreciate the support.

Your post above is one that I suspect most of is could identify with. Our conscious mind is fully aware of the devastation gambling can inflict on us but sadly there is also also a part of us that is intent on gambling no matter what damage we cause.

I liken it to the tantrums and nattering of a demanding child who is used to getting his own way and cannot be reasoned with. We need to to be firm, accept responsibility for our actions and be in control...stephen x

Nonchaser wrote: What drives our compulsion? My brain so wants to gamble tonight. I am not worried as I know I won't as my heart doesn't want to. I no longer enjoy it, it is a curse, but why won't my brain heal? Why can't I have normal thoughts away from this disgusting disease?

My urges to gamble are based around sport more than casino type games (although it was those that would usually end up dragging me into the dirt)

My urges would happen if I’m sat watching a football or cricket match and it begins to get exciting. It’s there in front of me and I think I can predict what’s going to happen next. In fact, my brain tricks me into thinking that I KNOW what’s going to happen next. So the temptation grows. So I think it’s easier to identify for sports gamblers, why those urges happen.

For casino style gamblers, you’re right, there seems no ryhme or reason why these urges would suddenly appear. I guess you just have to accept that they do. But the most important thing is how you deal with them that counts.

I’m sure in time, the longer you remain gamble free, the less these urges will crop up. That’s what I’ve found.

Keep fighting away those urges. It sounds like despite them, you’ve got things under control which is good.

Take care, Dan x

DeterminedDan wrote:

[quote=Nonchaser]What drives our compulsion? My brain so wants to gamble tonight. I am not worried as I know I won't as my heart doesn't want to. I no longer enjoy it, it is a curse, but why won't my brain heal? Why can't I have normal thoughts away from this disgusting disease?

My urges to gamble are based around sport more than casino type games (although it was those that would usually end up dragging me into the dirt)

My urges would happen if I’m sat watching a football or cricket match and it begins to get exciting. It’s there in front of me and I think I can predict what’s going to happen next. In fact, my brain tricks me into thinking that I KNOW what’s going to happen next. So the temptation grows. So I think it’s easier to identify for sports gamblers, why those urges happen.

For casino style gamblers, you’re right, there seems no ryhme or reason why these urges would suddenly appear. I guess you just have to accept that they do. But the most important thing is how you deal with them that counts.

I’m sure in time, the longer you remain gamble free, the less these urges will crop up. That’s what I’ve found.

Keep fighting away those urges. It sounds like despite them, you’ve got things under control which is good.

Take care, Dan x

Our need for dopamine determines your urges . It is as normal to your brain as walking is as it is built in to the learning part of your brain. If you simplify it all it is a habitual repeat of actions. We program ourselves to repeat our actions. Once we have done that we have a hard time unprograming ourselves again. It takes a lot of mastering before one can change one habbit against another one but it is absolutely possible.

Best of luck in your recovery!

Still gamble free, another payday approaching , still money in my tin. On the downside I have started smoking. Replacing one addiction for another shows my mind is not in shops place, but I know time is a healer

I’m glad to read that you’re still gamble free, nonchaser.

It’s all about reaching small, manageable milestones, especially during the early phase of recovery.

Sorry to hear that you’ve started smoking though. Have you been a smoker before or is this completely new to you?

Dan

I smoked for over 20 years and had given up for the last nine years. Thoughts of gambling still there, but that's all it is, thoughts during bored moments that soon pass. with gamstop now in place and being self excluded from all other sites, I don't even bother to go onto these sites anymore, which is great. Life is so much better without adrenaline overload.

Hey NonChaser, just checking in to see how things are with you? x

Just an update, haven't been on in a while, still gamble free, no temptation as signed up with Gamstop. Desires go when there is no way to fulfill them. Finances will take a bit longer to sort but no longer worry about that either as I have more than enough when I am not gambling, bills can be covered as I know I haven't blown 500 month! Scandalous