Angel From Montgomery

Hi Joan, thank you so much for your post on my diary, your words of support mean so much to me.

I love your choice of words, they actually struck me quite hard, and moved me.

I am still very raw emotionally, but as long as I stay away from the slots then I won't be adding to my mess.

You are doing amazingly well on your own journey, a huge congrats to you 🙂

Take care

Cameron

hiya Joan..

Trying to work out time differences here but no joy but guessing about 10 hours....from old UK..

How are you today lovely...?...I think you are fantastic and it takes so much courage to feel it all and plough ahead..

Sitting still in our own skin can be so hard...I find that part of the forums greatness is that it focusses our minds on just ....reading and typing...which can be very therapeutic ...I love bashing down on those keys which is why I dont use the touch typing version of this ipad...bought a mini keyboard to go with...lol

Thinking of you today and wishing you nothing but peace in your heart and mind,....

Virtual hugs

R and D xxx

Thanks Cameron and (((((((Rach)))))).. This journey would be soooo lonely without you.

G'morning Diary er, Day 31:

A teaching day today so, I must be out the door in about an hour. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference." To anyone reading my diary, have a wonderful day. Stay strong! -joan

Hi Joan,

You dropped to page 2.........Not having that!

So Joan....page 1....just where you should be!

Have a lovely day!

Sue x

Hi Joan,

Just popping in 2 say that I hope u r ok and staying strong 🙂

Have a gr8 day x

Hi Joan, just popping by to wish you well and hope lifes good for you right now.

Take care

Cameron

Yo

Just checking up on you 🙂

Post soon..........

Shiny xxxxxx

Thanks (((((((Sue, Charlotte, and Cameron))))). Group hug. 🙂

G'morning Diary, Day 32:

Almost dropped my basket last night. Got home and all I wanted to do was -- I am not even gonna say it. Just saying the word sometimes for me is romancing the b*****d. I cannot believe what a grip this thing has on me. As an alcoholic in addiction the drama always seemed to center around romance or finance. I feel for me that it is the same with the g-word. We are in deep debt right now. Our credit has been destroyed and we are no longer living in denial about it. The week before payday is always very scarce. My partner God love her is a bit of a shop-a-holic and spends what little she has on cr** that neither of us needs. I say her money b/c we have always kept our accounts separate which I believe was one of the only smart decisions we ever made together. We pretty much divide all of the houshold expenses evenly yet, she always manages to come up short the week before payday. If we were'nt so broke her little spending sprees wouldnt be such an issue but, we are broke and need to be more careful about how we spend it. The saddest part of the whole thing is what she buys are usually stupid little things for me! So, that's the first layer. The second layer is the guilt and shame I feel for being broke. The third layer or circle of hell shall I say, is the imp within that says, "well, you are already broke and feeling like cr**. Why not cheer yourselves up by going g-wording?" w*f is that?? That is the twisted thought process of this addict... So, what I am learning about myself is that the urges are not something apart from me. On the contrary, they are more like a virus that has gotten inside of me. I dont have to let it kill me if I dont want it to. But, it will be lying dormant in my system like chicken pox for the rest of my life. In moments of weakness, when my resistance is low it will rear it's ugly head. It will get very itchy from time to time but, I can handle that. I will eventually get better at reading the signs and symptoms. I will do what I need to do to keep my resistance up -- whatever that is. I will need to think about that some more. Well, dear diary -- that 's me today. I did not g-word yesterday, and I will not today. To anyone reading my diary, I apologise if you got lost in this post.. it was a strange one that's for sure. Be good to yourself today. Do something fun and stay strong. -joan

Hi Joan..

Just a few words ...first of all..you may have had those thoughts but you didn't act on them..fantastic !!!

Second...that 3 layer cycle you talk about .....I totally get that and about feeling infected.I feel the same inside too.

Sending you long armed hugs from across the pond

and reading your diary every day.

R and D xx

A huge well done for not g******g yesterday.

It's all about making the right choices for ourselves in order to lead a much better life.

And you did!

NT

Thank-you Rach and NT!!

G'morning Diary, Day 33:

the sun is just coming up over New England and I seem to have made it through another dark night. I can remember not long ago dragging in at this hour flat broke and my whole body inside and out buzzing from being up all night slumped over a you know what. I honor my past, not to torture myself with it but, to keep myself humble. I do not miss the panic, shame, scarcity, and feelings of hopelessness. Today, I feel my strength coming back. I look forward to going down to the lake in a few hours to be with my pals. I'm ready to laugh out loud, scarf back some hamburgers, and to feel some sunshine on my face. A g-free life is the good life baby!! To anyone out there reading my diary -- embrace life one day at a time g-free! -joan

Wow that book is supposed to be great the zen and the art of motorcycle maintainance.

I have never read it myself but my dad has it and you have just gave me an idea to keep my mind busy

Good morning ,

Soooooooo jealous ...........

Want to be sitting by a lake , want to be scoffing burgers , want to be laughing my head off .

Can you adopt me , so I can get a green card , .......

Here it is raining , I live in the centre of a major city .

Soooooooo jealous ...........

It is bloooooody marvellous to see you reaping the rewards that not gambling brings , keep going Hun , cause as you do these days out , guilt and shame free will become an almost every ocurance ......

Have fun .......

Shiny xxxxxxxxxx

Judy.

That sounds like a place to be!!!

And for you I know made sweeter each day just for today my friend by making the choice to live Gamble free.

A big well done from me, those dark nights will be outweighed by the bright days thats for sure.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi Joan,

Just popping in 2 say I hope u r having a gr8 wknd 🙂

Stay strong xx