Day 68
Well been to GA tonight and felt fine going in but gave my therapy and feel a bit drained after it. I've been feeling Fridays looming wedding day creeping up on me but don't think I realised how much. I know I will feel better getting it out in the morning and the support I got from the guys was great. I'm not sure what to do on Friday I've got my works Christmas do and will make a call on the day if I'm going to go but if not a few of the guys have said they will meet up with me for a few beers which I think is an outstanding effort. I've not even known them 7 weeks and they are prepared to put themselves out I never thought I would get that support when I was stood outside them doors 60 odd days ago plucking up the courage to go in. I appreciate its not for everyone but if you find a good group it can make all the difference in your recovery
It's going to be a testing few days but the answer won't be found in the bookies it will be my determination and the support from family and my new found friends
GA at it's best. Its an amazing place isn't it?
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I feel so humbled by it all tonight day@atime I'm going to be the person who steps up and makes that offer next time
And so recovery begins my friend. Human connection, doing something without wishing for something in return. It's almost as if a higher power is at work is it not!
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It's bizarre how it gets you the best gamble I've taken walking through the doors. I've not missed a week and in the 7 weeks I have been I have seen 12 others come and go. As someone said the other week GA doesn't fail you, you fail GA by not treating it with the respect it deserves. It's got my upmost respect and things like tonight only re-enforce that
Half-Life wrote:
No need to feel guilty about the raffle. You are right about it being a form of gambling and you need to put recovery first but you could always just make a donation without buying a ticket if it would make you feel better 🙂
sorry, I had no intention of flagging this as abusive, I don't know what happened there, Debra
It works when we work it and don't when we won't . Tale all it has to offer.
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Day 69
Well that's a nice number
As predicted woke up feeling a lot better after getting a few things of my chest at GA last night. Text a few guys and thanked them for their kind words and support last night. Been to see the ex tonight and wished her well for her trip away can't blame her for getting away I would of done the same and on the plus side I get some time with my lad.
As day@time the GA rooms are an amazing place and I will be taking all it offers and it's time for me to start giving a bit back which can only help my recovery. I've just worked out it will be 90 days on the 22nd Dec my last meeting before Christmas which will be a nice early Christmas present and i will hit the 100 mark on New Year's Day so that has worked out nicely.
Till the next time let's stay gamble free and thanks for reading and good luck with your battle
You can take that number anyway you like , sounds good when its gamble free day's as well ? LOL !
Congratulations Buddy and great to hear you sounding so positive !
All the best ..................................Alan
Day 70
Done.
Not looking forward to day 71, I know it's going to be a tough and emotional one. I should be tucked up in bed now getting an early night ready for the big day tomorrow but due to my compulsive bone I ain't.
Will have to dig deep and look at how far I have come in the past 10 weeks (look at me counting on weeks now lol) and take the positivesout of it all, one of which I get to wake up with my son in the morning
Day 71
Been up since 6 trying to keep busy and my mind occupied but it ain't working not worried about gambling but just think what I should be doing. Should of had a big fry up with the best man by now then off for a fancy shave. I'd be setting off to the town hall to say those words I DO instead I've had to change them to I DONT gamble anymore.
Very difficult to stay positive today but going on my works Christmas do tonight normally I'm the last one standing but will see how I feel tonight.
Good luck to you all and keep battling
Day 72
Yesterday was the toughest day I have had since I started my recovery, not once did I take thinks about gambling but it was all about my the consequences of my previous gambling life. The day started early and boy did the morning drag, I didn't get to see my Mum till 11 o'clock and as soon as I walked in she burst into tears not that she was upset about me not getting married(which she obviously is) but because she was worried about me and how I was dealing with the day. It touched me and I gave her the biggest hug and squeeze. I kept myself busy for the rest of the afternoon and decided to go to my works Christmas do. On the way there I received a few texts from my fellow CG at GA, one of the lads give me a call and we had a good chat. I managed to avoid the labyrinth of bookies(which I have excluded but I still don't trust that system)on my way to the pub with a pocket full of cash. Had a great time several beers and a decent Chinese meal with all my work colleagues, it went really well for 3 or 4 hours I kept myself occupied talking with everyone until I found myself sat at the table on my own, with nothing to keep me busy I started to think and the fact I had several beers inside me probably didn't help and the emotions took over for a while, no one noticed and I nipped outside for a cig fortunately one of my friends was there and understood my situation and was a great help. I Pulled myself together and despite my best intentions not to end up in club you guessed it I did. Had a good time and had another good chat with another friend who told me how proud he was of me and the commitment I'm showing and dealing with everything.i did not partake in any dancing in the club just more beers and shouting to be heard over the music(god I'm getting to old for the club malarkey) I said my goodbyes and set off to catch the night bus, this is where it got strange at the bus stop I bumped into the same GA member who called me up on the way to my night out, while waiting for the bus which typically never turned up we seemed to have our own GA meeting at a bus stop in the centre of Manchester we was talking about all sorts it was like giving a therapy and giving feedback to each other. Bizarre how our paths crossed but really helped me. Eventually decided to bite the bullet and pay for a cab after haggling the taxi driver down from £30 to a more reasonable £22 and head home. Barring a few hiccups I think I have dealt today remarkably well.
On Saturday I have got my son and we need to sort out some Christmas presents for his Mum, not sure what else we are going to do but it's going to be a good fun day and I'm really looking forward to it just st hope hangover is not to bad
Until next time stay gamble free and the best of look with your battle.
Day 73
Not feeling it today this is the low that follows the high. Had a good weekend be with my son went out and did his mums Christmas shopping while she was away for the weekend it Was fun and great to wake up with him under the same roof until the text came from the ex that she was on her way back from the airport and it was time to vacate the premises.
So hard to go I know over time it will get easier but it don't feel like that at the minute.
Day 76
Everything I becoming a bit of a struggle I'im not contemplating gambling but that is probably because I have all my blocks in place. I think the weekend has caught up with me the non wedding has hit me more than j thought looking forward to GA tonight I think it is needed
Day 78
Still gamble free but last night I was multitasking and watching the mosconi cup on my phone an football highlights on the tv and I caught myself twice staring at the tv watching adverts for betting sites and had to snap myself out of it. I am not looking to act but it rung an alarm bell and shocked me a bit.
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