Better to Ramble than Gamble.

Ive got away with it in work so thats good lol. As for the 3 kisses you know how my mind works you might be sugesting some triple x movies for me.

Barry's not allowed till after 9 !

Lovely lovely Martin.
Thanks for the lovely words...I'm touched...
Yeasssss it has been a tough year...well the start of it was..but last few months....not really sure since when.....I've loved it..it's a journey isnit .....it's what we make it....
I'm so glad you've been with me....like you said....all the laughs.....priceless ...
My introduction to that chap Barry...can't beleive I've never heard it before lol
Your a star....and I thankyou for always being here x

It may not surprise you Martin that im quite partial to a ramble. But unlike you I tend to get the words mixed up ie ' it's better to gamble than ramble '

Note to myself, have the correct wording tattooed on my forehead.

I kinda got from day dot of your gc life that this man had hit his pain threshold and was gonna keep on ' keeping the faith '

If I was to have one criticism of this thread and possibly help you out of your latest denial is, I think it's time to come put of the closure and admit your really a fan of the mighty LUFC....

Matching on together Martin, albeit, my shoe laces keep coming undone and I trip over.

You planted a well needed smile on my face the other day. Thankyou.

Have a good Arctic day

Thanks for the support & the faith Martin 🙂

It's certainly good to have had the grounding that I have had here (both on & off the site) as I'm not sure I would have gotten GA like I do now, as a newcomer but I'm grateful that the Steps meeting put my ego back in it's box. I'm not great @ the therapies as it's a bit too freestyle for me. My usual Janet Street-Porter-esque voice takes on a Mr Blobby style garble with my thought process equally jumbled but the directed questions I am way more comfortable with. I'm getting way more from it than the room is getting from me @ the mo but I'm sure I will find my feet eventually.

Hope it was the mufty day you got away with & not Loxxie's fab suggestion (bit cold)? KOKO - ODAAT

Huge thanks for your support in my Diary KTF....

Support from others here has made and is continuing to make so much difference to how I see my addiction. My diary is my one place I can truly be myself... I've 'put a face on' for such a long time, the easygoing, no worries, people pleaser... the more I write the more I feel myself awakening to the real me, the person I know I am deep down behind closed doors...I have a long long road in front of me but these forums have enabled me to see the road as forwards.... it has for many years always been downwards. I'm opening those doors at last, just a little at a time ...

Again...Thank you!

Mari x

I've not had a bet today or since my last post.

Nothing new to report but thought I should just check in.

As I'm sure it has Been for lots of people it's been a tough month financially. Entirely my own doing spending too much over Christmas and New Year on others and myself. I don't regret it I had a great time, a week till payday I'll get there its never crossed my mind to try and double up the little I had left, I'm all to well aware that it would not end well. While I never saved any money from last months wage I haven't dipped onto my small savings I need them to achieve my goal of getting out on my own two feet.

Off on a road trip in a bit to Bury GA, one of the lads can't make Oldham tomorrow and wanted to get a meeting in. It suits me I like to fir at least one other meeting in every month other than my local Oldham one. Always enjoy going to different rooms keeps it fresh and I've never been to this meeting before one to cross off the list.

A short one for me so I'll leave it there.

KTF

Hey Martin,

Thanks for the message on my diary.

As I've said before yours was one of the first diaries I read when I first came here and It really helped me see there was a way forward.....I'll always be thankful for that.

All the best.

Damo

Hi oldhamktf

I have just spent the last 3 1/2 hours reading through you recovery diary and can I just say WOW ! This is a mirror image of what's happened to me and must say I had myself relating to everything or bits of stuff from your posts. Don't want to ramble on but very well done on your 450+ GF and something I strive to achieve. Like you I hurt my partner and kids very much and I know it's only 32 days since I got booted out and my wife doesn't really want to talk still and txt are at a minimal response which I understand because of the damage I've done. Reading your diary is making me prepair for that day when she says it's all over (hopefully it won't happen) but I've got to be realistic. I had my youngest lad stay over last night and he is of similar age to your lad as he's 14, we set up Xbox for him n he enjoyed his night and is currently still in bed hence I've being reading your diary all morning. Like you said in the early days I am still very much ashamed and embarrassed by what I've done and have no thoughts of gambling due to other stuff going round my head 24/7. I will definitely be reading your diary on a regular basis and look forward to your posts.

"It's good to talk and take it one day at a time"

All the Best

Darren

I've not had a bet today or since my last post.

Payday today and a sense of relief for me today. I've been absolutely brassic for the last few weeks and the little money I did have has been burning a hole in my pocket, the old voice, double it up and things will be easier. Spotted the signs and have done 5 of 6 extra GA meetings in the last few weeks.

It never used to be this way when I was gambling I couldn't wait for my wage to hit the bank at midnight and then proceed to blow it or borrow some gambling tokens for the next day.

Ive seen lots saying they are worried with payday coming along maybe it's because I'm over a year in it's the opposite for me, not having money felt like a big trigger for me.

Anyhow I've got through it and will celebrate with a nice bacon and sausage muffin this morning.

Note to self plan for January next year.

KTF

wJust spent what feels like a entire morning reading your diary from start to now pal, inspirational gives people like me hope pal well done

Well done pal keep it going. Had to laugh at the 'brassic' comment as last I heard it was in a film, can't remember the name but it was most likely one of Guy Ritchie's!

January is a tough month so fair play for navigating through unscathed, we all know how difficult it can be.

All the best

Hi Martin,

Thank you for your kind words on my diary.

Trying to do what is working for me even if some days are really tough. Happy i am still here and on the straight and narrow..

Just for today... (getting used to this mantra even if it doesn't work all the time..work in progress ☺)

Glad to read all is well with yourself, you're doing great and should really be proud of yourself.

Actions not words

Well done you!

S x

Hello Me Old "Shed Dwelling , Black Pudding eating ,Northern Mate !!

How you doing ? , Just thought I'd pop by and wish you well for tommorow before the rush starts as I know they'll be many people on here just like myself who are very gratefull to have had you around giving all your support and advice and in my case a bit of a telling off when I've overstepped the mark ( No ! No! , I can hear you cry but it's true Martin ) :)) .

I remember well you turning up here 500 day's ago , a snotty nose kid feeling sorry for yourself just as I was 2 weeks previous , it was just a good job I knew everything back then and was able to beat some sense into you ! LoL xx .

Seriously though mate your one of my oldest and dearest on here , I love you to bits and wish you only joy and happiness for you and your's , it's not been easy at times but because of your strength and determination for a better life for you and your precious son youv'e never strayed , your a true gentleman and it's been an absolute pleasure to have walked alongside you this past 500 day's. :))

Thank's for your kind words on my diary Martin and although I've not been around much of late that doesn't mean I'm gone ( sorry everyone ), things are good although still no sign of those new hips Iv'e had on order for a while but I just felt I needed a little " Selfish time " ( It's a bit like " Hammer time " but without the " Hammer " ) :)) so like Arnie " I'll be back " but in the meantime could you ask Deano not to cry on my diary anymore because he thought I'd gone without saying goodbye ( What a whoos , honestly )? ! .

Enjoy your day Martin and I'll catch up with you soon old buddy !!

Love and kisses

Al

xx

Well done on the 500 not out mate