Today….. I told my parents!
It was honestly one of the most horrific experiences of my life. I’d played the scenario over and over in my head for months.
There was lots of shouting, and nasty comments. Even more tears.
My dad would barely look at me, and didn’t say “I love you” back when I left.
My mum, although disappointed and devastated at first, cuddled me, allowed me to just cry…… then was more reasonable than I will ever deserve.
Not only am I compulsive gambler, but I also used their money (money I was entrusted to look after) to clear credit cards debts….. only to max them out all over again.
Ashamed doesn’t do it justice!
I am attending my first GA meeting tomorrow…. The only input my dad had was that he insisted he comes with me - Are family members allowed? He wants to attend and pretend he’s also a gambler. I don’t want to start my journey of recovery on another lie….. all I’ve done thus far is lie. But my father was undeterred by my reasoning. He will drive me and attend every week.
Luckily, I earn a half decent wage, and by some miracle my evil existence hasn’t merged into my respectable working life. I have set up a budget to repay my parents over a 3yr period. It will take 5yrs to settle the credit cards - the interest is a killer!
Tonight was the first time I’ve actually spoken aloud about the mess I’ve caused. I feel like I can breathe for the first time in forever.
My biggest shame is that I may sleep soundly tonight while my parents will not.
No one said it was going to be easy, but despite how hard it was to tell your parents, you’ve come through it and ultimately it sounds like both parents are there to support you.
You dad doesn’t need to pretend to be a gambler, he can attend the first time as a parent, there to support you. Honesty is a really important cornerstone of recovery in GA and that applies to him too.
You will need to be free to talk honestly in the room without judgement, and it’s very difficult for non gamblers to not pass judgement at some of the things that we as gamblers have done.
My advice is at the first meeting ask to speak to the chairman, explain your dad would like to sit in on the first meeting to support you and check that is okay. We’ve never had a problem yet.
If he wants to take you every week that’s great, very supportive, and you should thank him for that.
Have a good first meeting and be as honest as you can. No judgement for probably the first time in your life.
Chris.
Gamblers Anonymous has two types of meetings : open meetings and closed meetings. If it is a closed meeting then your Dad should not go as that type is just for gamblers but if it is an open meeting he should attend and should not pretend to be a gambler just be himself., there to support you. GA thrives on honesty and it won't do for your Dad to be not honest as to why he is there. Best wishes on your recovery.
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