[Closed] Charly's life

Hi Charly.

Thanks for your post on my diary.

Reading you posts charly makes me smile...no matter what is thrown at you in life you always look to the positives....keep smiling charly because it rubs of on us.

Stay strong and wishing you all the best.

Viggo.

Hi Diary

It's been almost 2 weeks since I have posted last. Had my 5th chemo yesterday, very slowly again, but this time it went wrong again on the third bag.

An hour into the third bag(72mg in 1hr1/2) and another allergic reaction. They stopped chemo, gave me hydro cortison to stop the reaction and now it's back to the drawing board. They are having a meeting sometime tomorrow and then hoepfully give me a call at some point tomorrow. I should have the rest of this chemo and 1 more. Will have to wait and see. Would be a shame if they stop it because it is doing what it is meant to to the cancer. Hey hum..can't worry about it, nothing I can do about it until the quaks have decided what to do. So I've decided this is another thing to hand over to my Higher Power and let God deal with it.

Have a good gamble free day my gamcarian friends

God Bless

Sabine xx

PS; I have e-mailed Michelle at gamcare today to change my diary name from charly to Sabine. It's about time I became "ME".

I thank my brother for letting me use his nickname for the time, but I am confident enough now to use my own name from here on in.

God Bless him wherever he is now. Love you loads charly.xxx

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

All experience is an arch to build on.

-- Henry Brooks Adams

We can learn something from any experience, even one that is painful. In fact, we often learn more from painful experiences than from pleasant ones. When we say or do something foolish or hurtful that causes us embarrassment or guilt, pain gives us a reason to learn and behave differently next time. It may hurt to be arrested for drunk driving, but the pain of that experience may be the beginning of recovery for someone who is addicted.

We can't change the experiences we have, but we can learn from them. Our life is a gift that comes wrapped in what we experience each moment. When we accept this gift and open it willingly, no matter what the wrapping looks like, we put ourselves in a position to discover unexpected treasures. We live life to the fullest, and we learn who we are as we grow. In that way, all experience is positive in building our new lives.

Today let me learn something that will help me grow in wisdom and maturity.

You are reading from the book:

Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

Hai Sabine!

Stay strong, somebody of your calibre can/will beat any thing thrown at them with your strength of character alone! Mount Everest in flip flops wouldnt phase you!

Take care

Hi Sabine,

Shame about the chemo reaction but everything happens for a reason and you will find a way to beat this.

Have a good weekend

love and hugs

W xxx

Hi Charly

I have often thought about you and wondered how you were doing. You posted on my diary July 2009, you took the time to read it all and posted, I have not been on here since as I got married and life just seemed to take over but like I say you were often in my thoughts.

Anyway I have always meant to speak to you and say a big thank you for your posting on my diary and the time you took to read it.

It is actually my brother who is the gambler and even though back then in 2009 he was starting to see a counsellor he is still gambling and gambling to the same extreme. My dad has had heart surgery recently and my bro even calls him laying it on thick how he has no money. He called me the other day to basically say he was going to a GA meeting this week but I dont believe him, it is a ploy I think to make us think he is doing something to sort himself out.

I wont take over your diary any longer re my bro - I will post on my diary.

I searched for you to see how you were doing and although I have not read your whole diary as there is a massive amount of pages, I understand you are quite a long time now not gambling so well done you. Not only that but you seem so strong through your chemo too.....I will keep reading from now to see how you are getting on but if you could post in a nutshell how you have been and how you are doing, I can come a bit more upto date.

I understand a lot more now regards gambling and it is only Tough Love that works and you guys have helped me get there.

Big hug and well done you

Y

x

those dreaded FOBTs are really the C*****e of gambling.

if you can give the dreaded FOBTs up, you can do anything.

Hi Sabine

It just shows how far you have come in your Quest to beat this addiction.Sorry to hear about it all going wrong again.No wonder you have packed the gambling in.It doesnt seem like you have too much luck.So its good you have inner strength and belief to pull you through.You have a great heart Sabine.All the best Jeff.

Hi Sabine,

Been thinking about you so looked for your diary and found it on page 3 along with mine 🙂

You deserve a bump up and to know your hard work and many battles stay in my mind and I'm sure many others.

Lots of new threads appearing now,new friendships being forged. I stay around tho even if my diary is a little boring these days lol.....bored is good.

Take care my girl

love

W xxx

Hi Sabine

Like Jac said a lady of your calibre should be on the first page.i hope everything is well.We havent had a post from you for a while.All the best Jeff.

Hello my friend sabine...i hope your other personal battle is going well...we havent heard from you in a while...just to let you know that wee angel on my shoulder has been saying prayers for you as well as bashing that devil wi her brolly...your such an inspiration on these diaries...we can do this 🙂

Hope alls well and agree with all on here you are an inspiration on these diaries!

Putting you back on page one!

Viggo.

(((((Sabine)))))

sending you some cyber hugs,thinking of you hun.

love

W xxxx

Hi Diary

FIrst of all..thank you all for your posts and well wishes.

Secondly...apologies for not updating my diary for almost a month. Naughty Sabine, tut tut...

That done..things are going ok in Charly/Sabine's world.

I have been on holiday with my angel, his sister and her partner. We spent 2 marvellous weeks camping on the Isle of Wight.

Even with a couple of rainy days we had a fab time, taking it easy on some days and exploring the Island and all it has to offer on others. Most days we didn't leave the campsite until almost mid-day. Nice and easy starts to the days..just what we all needed. 🙂

We visited the Zoo, Osborne House, the pearl factory where us girls were treated to some beautiful ear-rings by our guys, we took the open top bus to the needles and Freshwater Bay..oh..all sorts with another list already started for things to do next time we go.

We got there on the 5th Sep and came back on the 17th.

The 18th we spent at Goodwood Revival with all it's Vintage, cars, motorbikes and dress-ups. It was a birthday present for my angel's brother-in-law, who had never experienced the Revival athmosphere. We have decided to go again next year and dress up ourselves. That should be a laugh.

Sunday we spent with them too and they then made their way back to Coventry.

Tuesday angel and I had another adventure. I bought him an experience day on the Waverley, the last sea faring paddle steamer, for last Christmas. As the Waverley only spends 2 weeks in September here in the South, he had to wait until then. Poor soul...he waited almost 9 months only to have the trip cancelled Tuesday morning due to the fog we had. :(. He will now have to wait until next year September.

As we had already paid for the day's parking in Bournemouth we decided to make a day of it. There was a little ferry at the pier who took people to Brownsea Island, so we decided to do that instead. We had the most wonderful day, walking around the Island, having lunch at their cafe.

On route back home we stopped at Christchurch beach and my angel realised that it was the exact beach he came to with his grandad when he was little. Finished the day with a nice meal out. Bliss!!!

Monday was check up day and things are still looking good. CA125 level is still at 47, which is great. Had my last chemo of this session yesterday. They decided to just give me the Caelyx and leave the carboplatin as it can no longer be given to me without a reaction.

Now the waiting time begins. I have a scan due in three weeks and then I have an appointment with the consultant on the 29th October to discuss the results and what to do next, depending on the scan results.

This I don't like.. patience isn't my strong point, waiting time gives me too much time to think and all sorts of scenarios develop in my head. I try my best to stop the thoughts as they occur but it is not always possible.

I then hand them over to my Higher Power as I have a lot of faith.

This is where I am today

There was something else that happened while we were camping, which almost made me cut my holiday short.

On the 9th September, I received a phone call from my niece in Germany to let me know that my oldest brother had a heart attach at 52 and was rushed to hospital for an emergency operation where they fitted 2 stents with one more to be fitted ont he 9th November. He was very lucky. If he had waited any longer to go to hospital, he would not have survived. Thank you God for scaring him enough to now finally listen to his doctors, and for letting him be with us a bit longer. I know it is now down to him. I pray that he finds his way now.

Thank you all again for praying for me and for worrying(especially Jac, love you my friend)

God Bless

Sabine xx

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Some days my life feels so confusing and overwhelming that I think I'll scream.

Sometimes life is like moving from one place to another. When I move into a new house, it is unorganized and chaotic until everything gets put in the right place. In life, my emotions and thoughts are often like the new house full of boxes. I am learning how to unpack one emotional "box" at a time, throw out what I no longer need, and put what I do need in its proper place. It's a hard job, but it's all part of the process of taking back my life.

When my emotional work gets too hectic, I will remember to keep things simple, to deal with one "box" at a time. Eventually, I'll get through the craziness, and everything will be in its rightful place.

You are reading from the book:

Time to Break Free by Judith R. Smith

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Hi Charly!

Glad to see your feeling ok even though things take time.....!

Really hope all comes good for you and just want to send you my best wishes!

All the Best.

Viggo.

Thanks Viggo for your post. I will write on your diary in a bit. 🙂

I am still waiting and trying to be patient. I am however, refusing to put my life on halt until I get the results. I have up and down days and do things accordingly. Yesterday I didn't do much at all, but rested most day, as my body was telling me to do so, especially after the higher chemo dose....(and that's a first for charly girl...I usually fight it with all that I am, lol)

Am trying to spend as much time as I can with my angel. We went away last weekend and had fun. We're at home for a change this weekend but are still going out Saturday night... 🙂

My life is normal(whatever that is) I have no desire to gamble, I have thoughts and some fleeting urges sometimes, but... I have the tools now to work with the way I feel when those thoughts and urges appear... It is life I am trying to live....

Love to all.

God Bless

Sabine

x

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.

-- Chinese Proverb

With all the negativity that surrounds us, it is easy to become overwhelmed. It is also tempting to fight against the negative or to declare war on it. Yet a master teacher offered a better way: "Resist not evil, but overcome evil with good."

Imagine you are in a dark room. Wanting the darkness to leave, you curse and fight against it. But no matter how much effort you make, the darkness remains. Turn on the light switch, however, and the night vanishes in an instant.

In a similar manner, when the light of truth is shed on a situation, fear and disharmony dissolve. When you send out a positive thought to another person or take a constructive action, an enormous amount of good is accomplished. Each good act begets another until a network of love and light is created.

The purpose of life is to reflect this light into places that are dark. Let your light shine and stay focused on the power of love. When enough of us have turned on our spiritual light switches, the earth will become as bright as a shining star. Where, then, could darkness dwell?

You are reading from the book:

Listening to Your Inner Voice by Douglas Bloch