Closure - 13th Feb 2014

How are you getting on today michael? I tell you you've inspired me to save as much money as possible. I have joined a few survey sites, started making packed lunches..I didn't spend a penny today! I know it's small potatoes in comparison to my debts but I suppose it all adds up eventually. Hope you're getting on ok...keep posting xx

Hi Shorty, Yes - I've had a good day today. More positive than for a long time. I've moved some money around to get me to the end of the month. I've self-excluded from the on-line casino who I lost money to. I've also cashed in £50 from 1 of the Survey sites, and £100 from TopCashBack for a £10/month, 24 month contract mobile phone for my wife ! I've also been asked to do a few Mystery Shopping trips as well - should bank me another £50, that's on top of the overtime I earned for on-call at the weekend with work (only called once !). A few hundred pounds for not much effort ! I'm banking on these little amounts here and there to build up and allow me to overpay on the Credit Cards, and drive these min payments down. Once they're down to a more manageable level, then I'll be able to breath again. This all feels a bit weird at the moment - it's like I'm waking up after a surreal dream/nightmare.

Thanks Sunny and Croboy,

Your comments have really lifted me today. I've had a much better, and more positive day today than I have in a long-time. I feel that something has lifted me, and given me a determined edge again. I've been much more productive at work than in recent weeks and I've felt altogether more positive about the future. I know I'm only in Day 4 of recovery, but I felt I haven't worried as much today - it all feels a bit weird.

I've taken on-board both of your comments (a) About confessing to my family, (b) About seeking financial advice and (c) Seeking out the local GA meeting.

Firstly, I don't think I'm ready to discuss with my family - my wife and I are planning a 1 week in the sun in 10days time, so I'd rather keep it from her until at least after then. I also have a bonus payable in Jun, which should get rid of 1 credit card. I'm determined that if I feel the need to confess in future, that I'm far enough down the road with this that at least I will be able to say that I'm clean and well on top of payments.

Although I've lost a huge amount over the years gambling, I'm currently carrying about £32K credit card debt. I've therefore decided to plug away and overpay wherever I can. I do have a bonus in July, 2 or 3 thousand in November this and next year, and an endowment expirying next May - probably about £10k. I think, and hope that these and determined effort every month to meet and overpay on Min Payments, that these are paid off by end of next year (rather than a 5 year IVA). I'll then start paying off the interest-free loan to my parents. But regardless of what the Credit Card debt is, or how much I owe to my parents, I know how much I've lost to gambling, and that's the target I'm aiming at, and consists of extra cash I earn above and beyond what I earn in basic salary. It's the money I'm making now, that if I hadn't gambled, I wouldn't have earned.

I have self-excluded from the 1 and only Casino I've signed up to, and I'm currently trying to get Gamblock working on my PC.

I've also moved money into my main Current Account today, to hopefully see me through the month. If I can make it through until next payday, then I can start making a serious dent in these Credit Card bills.

I feel I'm moving in the right direction at the moment.

Day 4

No urges - good day today.

Well done Michael for your ongoing positive attitude. I would still recommend you seek out a GA session and at least give it a go. I was embarassed/scared/apprehensive to go as I thought "I'm a middle class, good man-I shouldn't be with all these losers" but I discovered that the room is full of people from all sorts of jobs/backgrounds/cultures but share a common goal to give up gambling. It always gives me a massive boost when i leave sessions and it renews my dedication to keep going. If you love your wife and kids like I know you do I think you owe it to them and yourself to give it a go. If you never change they way you approach a problem then you'll eventually end up with the same result. Sounds crazy but I replaced gambling with listening to the radio as I think a lot of my gambling was boredom and not having my mind occupied enough.

Keep going mate, sorry if it sounds too preachy what I'm saying, just want you to do well.

Day 5

No urges - too knackered today.

A quick posting tonight. Felt knackered all day at work because I was up until 1 this morning reading posts and diaries of my fellow recoverees. Understandbly, I haven't been in the best of fettles today and got a bit annoyed at worked by the utterly boring conversations people were holding around me when I'm trying so hard to concentrate on work. God, do these people have nothing interesting to say ? I'm in recovery at the mo' having the fight of my life, with Credit Card bill which would make these folks eyes water, and the people around me at work are discussing in great depth what they had for tea last night and the like - yawn-fest ! Anyway rant over - made a little be of extra cash today, and paid min payments on 2 of the Credit Cards.

Targets for June other than the obvious (not to gamble) are ...

1. To attend my local GA meeting.

2. Have a completely relaxing holiday.

3. Pay min payments on all the credit card bills.

4. Have money to spare at the end of the month.

If I can achieve all of this, then next month, I will be able to start making serious dents in these credit cards.

Just managed my overdraft extended, so most definately have enough to last the month. I think I should also have enough to pay off Credit Card #1 at the end of the month - should reduce min payments by £30. Still got a massive debt though, but at least interest rate on my overdraft are alot less than interest rate on my Credit card. No urges at all at the moment. What a mess !

Good Afternoon Michael,

Keep going! Just keep chipping away. It does take time...Think of it like this, everyday the debt is decreasing, better than increasing, and not betting you are actually winning. You have been winning for the past week and keep it like that.

Try and not let your emotions get involved as I can recall in your previous diaries you wanted 'revenge'. That's a defindate No No! We have all been there, done that and know who will win. If we did win we wouldn' be compulsive gamblers. It looks like you're getting most of your finances sorted and hopefully the pressure will ease and you can spend more quality time with your family and not worry about this cr**

I read in Short's diary how she is getting the one loan and all there is just one big repayment every month. It makes the payments so much easier. Have you thought about remortgaging? Or appying the large loan? Credit cards are the worse for interest.

Look forward to your posts.

SJ

Hi Sunnyjosh,

Thanks for your post. Can't remortgage because we're still locked into a fixed deal. Also, we timed it perfectly by buying at the very peak of the house prices ! Basically there's not enough equity to remortgage - I'll keep that one up my sleeve should house prices recover. I've thought of a loan to partly cover the debts, but they don't seem to be flexible in that you can overpay on some months. I'm determined to get the higher interest credit cards paid off during the next 12 months. I've got an excellent credit rating, but a huge amount of debt (inc mortgage), so I'm not sure whether I'd be accepted for a loan anyway. I was thinking of allowing the dust to settle on this for the next 2 months and start going down the 0% Credit Card Balance transfer route. I will have to manage extremely carefully as whilst I don't want to have empty Credit Card accounts lying around for obvious reasons, I do want to know that I have some sort of buffer in place should anything happen e.g. we need a new washing machine or repairs to the car - which will make me sleep easier at night.

I have heard house prices will start to rise again soon but as you're on a fixed deal you can't remortgage.

I had three loans taken out in 2006 and 2008 managed to overpay without any fee. Both overpayments were finished in the winter of 2010. As these loans are a few years old I am not sure if they have changed.

However, you don't have to use direct debit to pay off these loans. You can request for the account number, sort code, to your repayments and full control yourself with a standing order. Whenever you wish to make an over payment you can just do an electronic bank transfer online. I don't see how they can not allow your over payments.

With my mortgage, again this is not done by direct debit but by standing order. I have the sort code and account number and can make extra payments if I wanted to.

The problem with gambling debt these days it's not just the debt, it's the dam interest as well which really eats into this. So the real winners are the Betting sites and the banks. They don't care as long as they money from us.

Keep shopping around Michael and see what good deals are out there. You be suprised how much interest you can save.

Day 6

Plodded through another day. A bit snappy today, with the wife and kids - guess I'm just tired. I've moved some cash around, so should be OK until the end of the month now. I'm basically working as much as I can at the moment. Most people at this time of night settle down to watch tv, but not me. I continue to work - it's pretty much a bottomless pit at the moment - the more hours I put in, the more I will make. Simple as that. I could work 24hrs a day, and still have work left. That's the joy of on-line surveys, free competitions, *******, clicks and mystery shopping - there's so few people who sign up (relative to the amount of work that's out there), there's pretty much an unlimited supply, but it's low paying and monotonous - but at least it's above min wage, tax-free, and you can do it however much you want and whenever - and it's a great way to supplement your main income. Ho-hum.

No urges today.

Day 7

Day 7 - 1 week gone. No urges at all this week. A bit snappy today again - still feeling tired. Other than that, nothing to report. So far so good.

Hey Michael,

Well done on completing your first week!

It was by far the toughest week for me, the first 35 days were pretty tough to be honest and when I found myself getting irritable with my family, after that it gets easier.

Well done and keep on posting as it is invaluable, I wrote on a piece of paper exactly how I felt (whilst the pain was still fresh) and if I thought of gambling I just read it to remind me how awful gambling made me feel and behave.

£60k is doable, about the same as what I have paid back, I found that I couldn't put every penny towards paying off debts, it was just too depressing so it took me longer than it had to, but I think I would have relapsed had I just paid off debts. Dont get me wrong at first you have to, just to balance the books.

It is simply really hard work to get straight, but so worth it when you get there. My life is completely unrecognisable of when I finally quit. Everything is better my job, my health, my family life.... honestly nothing is the same.

Keep it up, you have done really well and if you can do it for 7 days there is no reason that you cant do it for ever.

Thanks, Jim

Day 8

Dazzler - Thanks for your comments - reading your diary has given me some inspiration, in the fact that you've stopped gambling and you're on the verge of paying off those debts has been inspiring.

Anyway, although I've been 1 week gamble-free now, I've been very irritable with my family during that time, which I feel guilty about - I haven't been sleeping well, and I've been feeling very tired. Also, I feel that I'm gradually re-joining the real world - it's as though I'm waking up from a dream/nightmare, and checked my bank balance to see that I'm about £25/£30K worse off. It's funny, but there is no urge there at all and at the moment it all seems very easy, but having reached this stage 6 months ago, and having lost as much money has I paid off during the previous 2 years, I cannot get complacent for a minute - not in the next week, nor month, not year, not decade - I'm talking about the rest of my life here.

60K is alot of money and I know that the road will be very, very long, but I need to stablise the finances during the next few months, and get some confidence that these repayments are payable with ease.

Anyway, back to the real world, I joined some friends down the pub for a few pints, earlier, and I've managed to get roped into an 11-a-side football match tommorrow !! I haven't played for 10 years now - I know it's not the world cup, but I'm massively nervous !

Read your blog.

Just wanted to wish you well buddy.