Closure - 13th Feb 2014

Day 115, 116

Hi Pellekin,

You're right, My parents have not mentioned the money owed to them for 3 years, and no questions have been asked. Money is my only worry, and I'm lucky that that's all I have to worry about, because I know that debt can be fixed. It's a long long hard slog, and I'm worried about missing payments, or what my OH would say if she found out - but I know that there situations much much worse than this.

I need to understand that (a) I have my health (b) I have a loving family (c) I have a roof over my head (d) I have secure job.

This is fixable, it's hard and tough, but there is a way out.

Hi Michael35

Apologies, haven't had much time to keep up to date with your diary recently, it is though one of the diaries I do keep an eye on as, as stated in my original post to you pre Xmas, I see many similarities with regards our situations ie age, kids, size of debt etc.

Anyway, sorry to hear about the car incident. Please analyse it for what it is though, don't dwell too much on what is, in effect, a relatively small setback. I do realise from reading your most recent diary updates that you seem to have been becoming frustrated at not being able to get the debt down as quickly as you had planned and hoped and this has probably heightened your frustration at this last incident.

Ultimately, as you correctly state, you do have an option ie buy a cheaper run-a-round until your wife's policy pays out. As such, it's a minor blow on your long term plan but that is all it is.

You outline in your last update what your priorities are and obviously due to my own current situation, I can't stress how important it is that you keep reminding yourself of these. Your debt will come down in time ie you are hopefully in control of this. It will go so try not to become too focussed on it, I'm just worried you'll either have some 'get debt free quick' gambling urges or get really down about it.

I used to check my debts almost on an hourly basis, looking at credit card and bank statements and thinking about schemes to reduce the debt. I found this was my sole focus and it almost became an unhealthy obsession. Don't get me wrong focussing on the debt can sometimes help prevent the urge to return to gambling. I think we're both, pray to God, now at the stage where we are able to control such urges though. You've done fantastically well.

I decided from Dec to forget about my overdraft and all other debts. Don't get me wrong I'm not in denial, I get the money out that I need to live on and then try to focus on the important things in life. Anyway, not wanting to preach, you must do what you think is right for you, just thought anothers view maybe of use.

Keep going mate, you will *** this

Hi Micheal,

Sorry to hear about your car and the fact that you got knocked back for a new cc. Did you manage to use the old ones you were talking about with the 0 percent balance transfers available at all.

As for the car its like i said before. On the way to that debt free day you will get the " Two steps forward and one step back " syndrome but as i also said " Thats life " i am afraid. Was the driver caught and can you sue him for the cost of a car plus out of pocket expenses through being without a car ?.

The trick is not to look at all setbacks as defeating.They are what they are, setbacks but not the end of the world. No road to being debt free is without setbacks. I am glad you are taking the positives at the moment from your situation regarding being with your loved ones and having a roof over your head. Its when you look at the bigger picture and find the positives it helps and keeps us going. The main thing is though that you have not broken your comittment to being gamble free. Any setbacks are all part of life wether we gamble or not. Its just that of we gamble we risk a setback into a catstrophe. You have not gambled and you are doing well. We can never account for " Sods Law " though but stay gamble free and that debt free day shall come.

Just remember that as well as setbacks that surprise us we also have oppertunitys that come along unexpectedly sometimes so they may balance out in the big picture. I would do exactly what you said with the car and get a reasonable run around.I would also explain to my wife that many people now look for these as due to the current economic climate there are some great bargains around regarding used cars. A new car looses so much value so fast these days that no matter how much money i had i could not justify throwing it away on a new car. It makes sense to shop and get the best for your money wether we are in debt or not.

You are doing so well and yes i know you have been knocked back regarding finances but you have certainly not been knocked back regarding your non gambling life. Thats the fight you started out to win and you are winning and winning well. It sounds like its hard to beliveve i know but if yu dont gamble the debt will go away. As i also said eariler " there is no easy fix, but there is a fix ".

You are winning this fight against gambling and you must keep telling yourself this truth. The fallout from gambling debt is always on our minds but use that to keep your drive going. At the forefront though keep dear and close the loved ones in your life and dont let gambling claim anything more from you.Its had some of your money but dont let it take your loved ones or your spirit from you.

Also there are alot of people here who have been where you are and some are there right now so come here and have a yell and get it out of your system.Some people here have the answers such as when you got adive and through that got your latest cc after being knocked back for another one.

There is alot of support and collective knowledge here.We are all. i like to think, working as a team rather than being totaly alone.Any help and advice can only be a good thing buddy.

You are beating the gambling, the gambling is not beating you my friend.Your are winning even when you feel you are not getting as far as you would like, you ar estill winning and dont forget that buddy.

All the best

Steven

Hi M35

I join the others in saying sorry to hear about the car trouble,

Just hoping that you're still doing OK, I know you don't check in everyday now but stay strong, these kind of setbacks are exactly the sort of thing that used to end in me gambling

Days 117->120

Guys, as ever, your comments more than extremely well appreciated, and in view of your own situations, I thank you a million times over for finding the time to contribute.

Having felt a bit down as late, just decided to get my head down, and continued to work through the problem - it's not the end of the world. In fact, this week I've had a generally positive one (a) I won a 42inch LCD TV in one of the comps I entered (b) During my performance review, my boss has strongly encouraged me to apply for promotion - he said that I'd had a "very very good year" (and he is a generally downbeat boss). I've had one of my worst ever years, working an extra 4hrs a day on my own money making streams, but my boss has told me this !!! I've worked so hard in the last year, not focussing on my career, but focussing on making money - making an impression at work was not been a priority. I've spent 10years in this role, and for the last 3, I've been fighting a gambling addiction, so for him to come out with this is staggering. God only knows where I'd be if I gave hoot about my career.

So a weird week of mixed emotions. Firstly, debt reduction has simply not happened for the last 4 months, in fact, I've only paid about £2000 off total debt since last May now, and with 60hrs/week worked since then, is in incredibly frustrating, but fingers crossed for a few positive months to come. Otherwise, everything is OK, and most importantly, NO GAMBLING !

... of course, I will follow his advise and pull out all of the stops to achieve a promotion. And the incentive ? Extra cash to pay off this debt mountain

Hi Micheal,

Thats exactly what i meant in my last post on your diary when i said you get unexpected oppertunities as well as setbacks.Its strange in a way that through gambling you have worked alot of hours extra and through this your boss has said to apply for promotion.Life is has a way of balancing things out.You are tackling the debt head on and it looks like through doing this you may, in a round about way get a promotion because of the extra hours you have been putting in at work.Kind of like a Zen riddle when you think about it ?.

Good stuff buudy, Keep it up and fingers crossed for you and hope you get the promotion.

A big well done my friend.

All the best

Steven

"I need to understand that (a) I have my health (b) I have a loving family (c) I have a roof over my head (d) I have secure job."

This says it all. Life is full of ups and downs like your TV and your car.

But those four things are the most important things you need.

And you have them all.

GT

Day 121

I think cars have go it in for me at the moment. 20 years of accident free, points-free motoring then last week, someone wrote off my car, and today, I reversed my courtesy car into a post - £250 excess to pay on that !! Not overly depressed - in fact, I did see that funny side of it in a weird sort of way.

The debt is worrying, and as I've allured to before, it's a struggle every month to keep up with min payments, and this month has been a financial disaster - but I have alot of high-interest credit still available, and I'm unfortunately having to dip into that.

The situation with my OH is still the thing that worries me the most - also, she will be getting a lump sum of cash in May which she'll use to buy a newer car, take us on hols, and pay out any outstanding debts. Unfortunately, I think the debt is about £25K more than she thinks thanks to me. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it, but for now, head down, weather this storm, and come Feb, 9 or 10 debt busting months are ahead.

Oh no! The car curse continues!

Please remember what I said in my last post (which is just a repeat of what YOU said) with just one extra addition...

...122 days!

GT

Hi Micheal,

I seee that you have paid around 2000 of since last May but think about it.Thats around 300 per month which is great Also 2000 pounds less means less interest so you can use that money to snowball your payments on the debt you have.Aslo dont forget you have just had xmas and an expensive January.You have done well.

When we first start to gett the debt down impatience can be a great enemy.Take every positive you can and keep it at the front of your thoughts. As for the car what can i say ?. Thats just real bad luck but as you said, in the big picture its not that bad.Its not ideal but not enough to put you off course my friend.I can understand your concerm=ns over your OH but try to keep knocking that debt down buddy.Its coming down and thats the main thing. As time passes and less interest payments you will see the debt reduce faster.

All the best and you are doing awesome, you really are handling this very very well.

All the best

Steven

Day 122, 123, 124

Been really bickering with my OH during the last few days - were only just on speaking terms at the moment. It's just little things, like her constant aggressiveness towards me, which I keep pointing out to her, which winds her up even more.

Anyway, I've just deleted the next section/rant, but just to say, her early morning starts, which I struggle to get her up for I think is the cause of her aggressive behaviour - but she get her 8 or 9hrs beauty sleep a night, I get 5, but (I think) I manage to remain civil to all.

Anyway, I believe that she's finally bit the bullet and she's started using the gym I kitted out for her 3.5 years ago, which she refused to use back then - even though she seriously needed to make use of it. Unfortunately, the treadmill which has been sitting gathering dust for all of that time, as blown a fuse !! Yet another job for me.

Rant over

Day 125,126,127

Tiredness is my downfall. A few decent night's sleep, and I'm on top of the world again. Simple really.

Bought a car yesterday, only £800, but affordable, and cheap to run. That'll do us until we're back on our feet. Insurance company are being a complete pain - and they're winding up to give me a c**P write-off value on the car. In fact, it wouldn't surprise me if the excess is greater than the valuation on the car !!

Anyway, the strange thing is when I was buying the car, I was haggling over £50, trying to get him down to £750, doing what anyone else would do. 12 months ago, I whacking £100 -> £200 bets every 10 seconds on Blackjack without so much as a passing thought, and at my lowest ebb last May, I managed to lose I estimate about £9000 in 3 or 4 hrs.

How times have changed, and yes, I'm up to my eyeballs in debt, but I would never contemplate it again. Life is on an even keel at the moment.

The cash is coming in but I still have £33K on the CC's, £25K on a loan from my Parents, Overdrafts in excess of £10K and a mortgage well over £200K. Massive debts, but under control for the moment.

It's hard, it's tough and it's an almighty battle, but I will succeed.

Hi Micheal.I have been in the same situation with insurance company over a car write off.They try to give you a cr** offer at first but reject it no matter what they say.Do a bit of research on how much your car was worth and tell tehm you want more than they are offering if you dont think they are giving you a fair offer.If they try and offer a silly low amount ( which they always do at first ) then tell them you will get the insurance ombudsman involved and they will fold and give you a better offer, i can gaurantee it. I have been there and they will offer you more.Its a well known fact.Also how did your other half react to the 800 car ?.Hope all is well buddy.Keep going as even though it may not feel like it you are winning on many fronts.

Tomorrow will be 8 months since you started this diary that will lead you to success and well done buddy !!!! .

All the best

Steven

Day 128->133

Hi Steven, The insurance company still have not contacted me with an offer on the car. But as long as they continue to do this, the longer I have the courtesy car, whilst my new one sits in the garage. In terms of my OH, we'd always agreed to get a cheap runaround for 6 months before buying a newer 1 later this year.

Gambling thoughts are precisely nil. Debts still sky high, but I'm not worrying about it as much at the mo, as I have money to spare in my account, and no major outlays in the pipeline. So for the moment, everything is settled.