Day 1 - online slots

Hi there and welcome to GC!

Right place to start the journey in bettering your life. You have had considerable time away from gambling so know yourself what that freedom feels!

It can be done and you're on the right path.
Stay close by,..GC offers free counselling sessions if you think that might help. You're not alone!

Read around the forum, there are many useful tips and advice to stop this madness we choose :-/

Stay safe & just for today - make the right choice ☺

B&S xx

Thanks so much for commenting, it's already a good feeling knowing I'm not alone. Been keeping myself busy, although hubby is exhausted, almost asleep and kids doing their own thing. This is usually an excuse for "just a tenner" But instead I'm going to spend time reading through the success stories here! One day we will all be there. I've beaten this before and need to believe I will again. I think right now, there's a part of me thinking "I'm not really addicted again" I've got control of it. But deep down I know I don't, or I wouldn't be here.

Thanks again for encouragement.

Hi Gailyt
I really identified with your post. I also had some time free from gambling & experienced freedom from anxiety & the anguish it brings for several months. My problem is that I am also addicted to the online slots. I have had a 2 day bender & have fallen back in to the trap. I just wanted to say I am thinking of you & hope you soon find some peace.
Take care Roxi x

Hi Roxi

Online slots are so addictive, never thought I would be so stupid, never mind getting hooked again. Good luck to you. Just come back here and chat instead of giving in to the urge. We can beat this!!

Day2 for me, on holiday for 6wks with kids from school, so when they are out doing their thing I'm alone and desperate to just have "one more try" gotta win this time surely!!

I've been reading some success stories and they are very inspiring. This won't be easy, been here before, I know it's not! I also know it's time to get a hold back of my life, family and finances!

Onwards and upwards..I have been up and awake for 2hours and have not gambled yet! That is an achievement in itself and for that I'm proud!

2pm..struggling..hence back to the diary. Been reading more posts. Some really heart wrenching. I'm lucky compared to some. I haven't lost as much as others have, but I know if I don't do this now, I will.

I have to believe in myself, keep chatting to my dogs, telling them and myself "I can do this" (poor dogs)

I did log in to one account, looking for "free bet" or offer. (Can't close this one, hubbys account) i don't want him to know how bad it's got again. Has a £10 daily limit, which he never uses apart from Grand National..but he sees notification if I deposit, so only use it when I'm desperate.

Anyway, was very close to depositing when I thought I'll check back in here..read a lovely encouraging post on another thread and instantly logged out of gambling site!

Thanks to everyone posting on here. Your posts do make a difference to people.

Well done for not giving in to the urges, keep yourself busy and keep coming back here for support... I know I am.Even though it's hard now this is the worse it can be the only way is forwards xx

Hi Gailyt
You have done brilliantly to log out of a site after reading posts on here. Together we are strong. I am going to do just that when I have the compulsive thoughts to also come here. Being a compulsive gambler breaks my heart. It just crept up on me again & I have fallen back in to the trap. We will get well by supporting each other here.
Kind regards to you & everyone
Roxi x

Roxi,

Definitely a life line for me! Today..so far, so good!

Stay strong, and proud..GF x

Day 3!!

Saved probably around £300!! Feeling good!

Slept fairly soundly last night for first time in ages. Woke up with no dread.

Today, instead of hating myself, and riddled with guilt. I'm proud.

I have been GF for THREE WHOLE DAYS!! Hope to make many more of these days!

Leaving loopholes is playing with fire.You say your husband has been supportive in the past. What makes you think he won't be this time?

Mr L is the gambler in the house and I can assure you I would much rather know if he found he was struggling again. If you look at the f&f section the one thing that comes up time and again is the distress at being left in the dark and lied to. Your husband will find out. Telling him now puts you in control of how that happens.

Thanks Lethe

Have thought about being honest with him, but I'm scared of the disappointment in his face again.

i also know I'm playing with Fire not telling him, as you say, he will find out and better it coming from me.

Think I need to be clear in my head, and want to be able to tell him it came back, but look I'm in control. Show him the steps I've taken. Prove to him, I trying to resolve it.

I read over the f&f yesterday as I thought about telling him, purely because I was feeling so positive and wanted to share it with him.

But some of these are so sad, and I got scared, convinced that maybe this time, he won't be so understanding. I'm down on myself as it is and as much as I deserve his disappointment, I'm not sure I'm strong enough yet to take it. Maybe makes me selfish. Just caring about my own feelings. But at this precise moment, I feel I need to battle this demon alone without dragging him into it and having to look at the pain and betrayal in his eyes.

I have taken onboard your comments and I do appreciate them. I will be honest, but I'm just not ready today.

Gail x

Day 4 - still GF

Today has been a good day, spent with hubby and family. Good time, but also tinged with guilt. Feel like I haven't spent "real" time with them in so long. I'm always here, but head was always away spinning a slot. Today I was totally with them and loved it.

Hi again

If you're not ready to tell him, have you got some physical barriers in place so you can't act on a whim? Obviously the best of these is coming clean and handing over control of your finances but there are others you can action like self excluding from your online accounts (press for permanent SE. They won't always offer it in the t&c's but it's there). Get blockers for your devices. You can use a random set of letters and numbers as the password then C&P to confirm. Alternatively use a barcode then destroy it. If you gamble on a phone and can't find a blocker for it,ditch it and get a non internet version. The addiction will tell you you can't manage without a smartphone but it's not the case.

Look into GA and counselling. You will need to identify and address whatever it is that's driving the compulsion. GA will be full of people who 'get it' in a way non gamblers never can.

Hi gaily ,

Well done for staying GF ! Day 4 that's a great start already . I'm fairly new to my recovery as well I'm only on my day 37. Keep up the good work ! And I like you're thinking , every time we don't gamble we get richer and a million times happier ! That's how we win life I guess . I hope you can drop by on my page too . Let's help each other .

Sars