Day 6

Such a great story Annie ! You've motivated me ! I'm on day 7 gf ! Good luck with your journey 🙂 keep us posted !

Thanks Sars. Keep going! It does feel like I have finally seen the light. Fair bit of family stress today which would normally make me look for light relief in terms of the spinning wheels but I am stronger than the evil pull!! I will not cave. Xx

Day 22. Past the 3 weeks mark. Hooray!!! Xx

Ok, so this is exactly the time and situation when I am most vulnerable to relapsing - just got back from a run and family all out and going to be out for at least 3 or 4 hours. What I would have done previously is logged onto my favourite site and deposited and then got caught up for several hours watching balance go up and then down and then up and then down until usually then go and blow it all doing £5 spins on roulette after having spent hours on 15p spins on slots. Today is different.....I have come on here, I will read through some other diary entries and maybe comment, and then I will have a shower, put out the washing, do some work that I have got to do before going to work tomorrow, and not go on the sites at all. I can feel my weakness but I am not going back there! I must remeber 'I never win, because I put it all back in'....I never win because I can not stop!'. Good luck all in the fight against the evil, life destroying slots and in my case roulette table! xx

We will stay strong together on this fight ! One day at a time :)! Keep us posted Annie ! Stay away from the evil !

Good evening Annie . Hope you got through the day happily gamble free . Great that you go running , its a great therapy to keep fit and healthy ....... stephen

Thanks for your posts Sars and Stephen. They really help with motivation. Have completed another gamble free day. Hooray!! Here's to all our gamble free journeys!! GFF. Gamble free forever!! Xx

That is a good point Annie : Friday morning GamCare Forum - Afternoon Counselling - Evening went GA for first time in over a year . Saturday morning on a high with 30 days gamble free . Maybe it was all a bit too much .

Morning Annie , hope your happy and well . 24 Days since you last had a bet , brilliant start to your new life .

Inspiring quotes taken from your diary ;

" Determined not to go back to the guilt , anger , shame , crazy conversations in my head " . " I can feel my weakness but not going back there " .

I think this verse from ' Annies Song ' by John Denver is like you looking for your true self ;

YOU FILL UP MY SENSES

LIKE A NIGHT IN THE FOREST

LIKE THE MOUNTAINS IN SPRINGTIME

LIKE A WALK IN THE RAIN

LIKE A STORM IN THE DESERT

LIKE A SLEEPY BLUE OCEAN

YOU FILL UP MY SENSES

COME FILL ME AGAIN

Thanks so much Stephen for your lovely words. I hope you are finding things a little easier since the weekend. Work is super busy for me at the moment so I'm focusing on that a fair bit and feeling pleased to get to 24 days. Feels nice not to know that the money in my bank account, although not very much, is there to cover the odd increase in council tax, water rate etc rather than me knowing that it will be squandered on the spinning g wheels. I have more certainty in my finances than I have for s long time, despite having a lot less than a year or so ago due to gambling it away. Good luck everyone. Xx

27 days. Keeping going. Xx

4 weeks today. Had a bit of a low week emotionally with some tears but not going back to gambling as that doesn't help anything!

Morning Annie . Thankyou so much for your encouraging post in my diary .

Day 28 is great , a good solid foundation for your new life . I imagine as you go forward your emotions will fluctuate , life changes are not always easy .

Like you I am still a way off getting my finances as I would like them , however I am loving the peace of mind of having sufficient funds to keep my head above water making payments , doing a little shopping and socialising . Feel a bit awkward when friends are discussing grandiose holiday plans , but I made my bed so I will lay it . Think I might get rid of the bed !

It's good your running and keeping fit . Enjoying your travels with a healthy body and a sound mind can make your future a great adventure . Wishing you every happiness ....... stephen x

Thanks Stephen. You always have such words of wisdom. X

Congratulations Annie on 30 days gamble free . Wishing you every happiness ..... stephen x