Day two and onwards

Day 1 for me... i feel exactly the same as you. I feel confident writing here will help me to overcome this as i hope it does you too. It helps me to read other stories and know i am not alone in what i have been doing.

Hi Nick... am much the same as you describe. No interest in horses or online, but standing at a slot machine anticipating the next win I have always found intoxicating and also like you I am no longer 15 years old but a mature adult (if I can call myself that!) of 42 years.

Iv'e been trying to stop completely for the last 12 to 14 years and whilst on occasions I go for many many months gambling free, ultimately I go back and blow another bunch of money with all the let down emotions that then follow.

Again you are right in that the time/money/location triangle does work. If you don't put temptation in your way you won't gamble. In fact stopping gambling is not difficult. The hard part is staying stopped... that's hard.

Keep focussing on the things that matter. All the best with your journey.. regards.. S.A

Thanks folks and good luck with your progress. Regarding slots, I once heard someone say "it's not that you lose every spin, it's that you nearly win". Quite right too, that next spin......

Day three. Sunday. I have to go out for DIY stuff. The wife might come but probably won't. I would normally drop off somewhere at a convenient bookies along the way for how ever long but today I won't bother. I will have money, some time, but if I can keep away from the location then that's good. Can't be as easy as this all the time and I'm sure there will be mega-urge days where I have time, money and location but today I feel good, I keep reading and learning, and I keep feeling S***e about the way I've treated my wife and family for sooooooo long. I've realised that one trigger is stress, the more work I have on and the more financial pressures then the more likely I am to escape to the safe haven of the wonderworld that is called a bookies and the mystical land of beautiful slot machines with glittering lights and wondrous music. This, of course, invariably causes more stress since I create more work for myself due to wasting time and if I lose then that's even more stress. So today I will also do a bit of work, I'm self-employed, and help relieve the stress of work piling up. And if I keep the money in the wallet, then the stress of everday bills will diminish. If only it were as easy at that all the time! Nick.

Hi nick

Good luck with the quitting the lost spins at 50p or 1.00 in all your spins ever will always be far greater than your wins .

And remember if your content with what you have you don't need to gamble at all .

Day 5, Tuesday. Today I have time, money and location, working on my own away from home, earning good money and surrounded by bookies and the evil FOBTs. Managed 4 days so far. Reading some of your posts is like a mirror. Just walked round town, glancing in the bookies, wondrous places, and walked on. Reading posts and writing this rubbish certainly helps, it keeps me focussed, and I don't expect any replies. This evening will be tough, work done, evening to myself in the hotel, working in the city centre surrounded by evil....I would normally go out and gamble but tonight I will try and get some work done.

For all you youngsters, i can safely say that aged 52 I have wasted a lot of my life away and an awful amount of money, and lied and cheated my wife and family. There is hope for you, don't become like me, you have time, I have less time.

Keep the faith, Nick.

Day 18. Not been on the FOBTs at all. Aged 52 I am now thoroughly sick and tired of gambling and all it entails. The current spate of bingo ads on the tele and the endless gaming adverts, sometimes sponsored by celebrities, sickens me, since the message is invariably 'have a good time, chat to your mates, bet responsibly' whereas the underlying message is always 'spend your money here, become addicted, spend even more money'. The bookies are now relentlessly pushing the 'bet responsibly' angle but after playing on a machine you will invariably 'win' a free £5 bet for tomorrow's play. Despite being a clever man, with a degree in engineering, and knowing all about odds and statistics, I have historically bought countless systems, roulette systems (really!), lay bet systems, joined 'free' clubs, bought devices supposed to affect slot machines, joined racing clubs, and so on, and on, and on. None of them work, I can assure you. Only arbitrage betting and counting cards at blackjack work, and that's not real gambling, it's taking advantage of certain situations, and it's hard work with minimal reward.

Since my first day off the machines about 3 weeks ago I have regularly been into bookmakers, even with a wallet full of money, and sat and watched. Watch both the machines and the body language and faces of the poor folks, our fellow human beings, losing money and feeling thoroughly disheartened and sick of it all. The endless promotions but with the underlying hint of 'bet responsibly' I find particularly irksome. I have rarely seen a well dressed man or woman in a bookies, it is normally the lower end of society, trying to win back the rent, electric money or whatever, and I've been one of them, for far too long. There isn't a cat in hell's chance of me going back on those machines, I have too much anger for the politicians, a Labour government, that relaxed the laws, and the pathetic Planning that allows bookmakers to open shops without Planning Permission, blighting our towns.

Perhaps the biggest regret is the waste of time I have spent gambling. If you're young, in your 20's, and reading this and addicted to FOBTs you have plenty of time to make it all up, both the money and the time. At my age I have wasted countless hours, and hours, and hours, and money, gambing, and the massive highs and lows physically and mentally that it entails. You still have time. Don't panic and don't worry about the money that you have lost, and don't even think about trying to win it back. Stop now, before you get to 52, and save yourself lots of money and, in particular, lots of time and wasted emotions. Stick two fingers up to the gambling mentality that this country and the bookmakers seem to currently promote and let's hope that the Government gets its act together and severely restrictes the FOBTs, and that you can get as angry as me and stop a long, long time before you get to 52. I'm off into town now to visit my marketplace dominanted by bookmakers and I'll be sitting in for 10-20 minutes in each and watching, getting angry, and feeling sorry for my fellow human beings. Then one day soon, I just won't bother anymore, since my gambling days are well and truly finished. Pity it took so long. Don't you make the same mistake. Nick.

Still Day 18, been into town. Went in Lads Broke, watched a poor woman completely load an FOBT, she got two sets of freespins that barely paid her half her input back, and she kept on. She was probably older than me, a grandmother no doubt, didn't look particularly well kept, and was talking to herself, and her body language was pretty awkward. I kind of wanted to go up to her and drag her off, give her a hug and tell her to go back to her family, but what can you do? I notice that some of you are taking much more extensive measures than me, blocking your accounts, removing the ccv from the back of your cards, talking to family. I'm that angry with the current state of the betting industry and the relentless adverts encouraging 'responsible' betting that I don't seem to need any other remedy, being old and angry and regretful and resentful seems to be enough and I'm thankful that after 40 odd years of gambling I have finally got that sick of it that the thoughts of giving greedy shareholders a stake of my hard earnt money, and my family's money is enough. I'm sure I'll have mega-urge days but my remedy is sitting in a bookies for 10-20 minutes a day, every day, observing the misery painted through pastel windows of 'responsible gambling'. Keep the faith, and don't let yourself get as old as me, 52, before you get angry. In the meantime we have to watch Ray Winstone encourage us to bet on 365 and all the other celebrity voice-overs stating what a fun time we can have at online Bingo, let along the televised roulette in the early hours of the morning. It's good to rant xx Nick