Ill call this Day 1. But im not sure what day it is. There is a nasty demon inside me that will not leave me alone to live a normal life. Im alone nowaday as.always. Fiance and daughter left 2 years ago. When im not gambling i get depressed about my situation. When I am gambling, well....f*** everything else.
Its become a decay, an illness, a need and most worryingly a want.
The question is, do i have any part of my mind that will win tbis war. Im losing every battle, daily. There is help out there but im so saturated in my gambling lonely life that i cant go get help because it will take away my buzz.
Im looking at a photo of my daughter. She can be the catalyst now. There is a GA meeting tomorrow about half hours drive away. Im going to it. Ill post after ive been.
Nicky yes you can do this never too late I have gone through murder last 70 days anxiety depression sleepless nights but it does get better believe me just keep the fight up fill up your time and fight the demon it's one you can win.....
The bear
Thanks Bear, read your posts. Be Strong
Nickyj
Fella well done for taking the right steps to gift yourself a chance to see how life can be so different without the 'f**k it' attitude gambling gifts it, bottom line is fella the choice is down to you.
Yes take all the help out there, there is a wealth of it and all free, GA has been a massive help to me, my advice drive those thirty minutes and give it a try, we say give the room 90 days 12 meetings and if you don't see it as a help after that then fare play go back at it.
I also say write on your diary as often as you can, read other diaries, you will connect with some, they can offer great advice, help and the support we all need.
The opportunity is and will always be there, I went at it wholesale for twenty years before I found recovery.
Recovery is bespoke, tailor it to work for you, whatever it takes to stop the destruction that is the compulsion to gamble.
It will actually make you the winner gambling promised but never delivered.
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
