Congratualtions on the half century Ant!
Too right it’s a milestone.
Take a moment to reflect on how well you’ve done over the last 50 days and give yourself a massive pat on the back.
You absolutely have every right to be here...Although many of us are unable to put our finger on it exactly/accept it, mental health & addiction are intrinsically linked. Just because we’re not all @ the stage you are @ where medication is important doesn’t mean we don’t all have our own demons to deal with. If it helps any, I had very few urges almost from the off & even more so since quitting gambling completely to walk through the doors of GA.
We need to take our medicine from anywhere that suits: loved ones, books, cyber space, health care professionals, rooms, Seasons, hobbies...There’s something to be gained everywhere & whether you are a daily gambler or a binge gambler or just do it on the odd occasion when you are hurting doesn’t make getting through one single any less of an achievement!
I’ll leave you with a quote from one of my amazing GA friends: “Your share might be the key to unlock someone else's prison.”
Keep reading, keep writing, keep fighting for your future - ODAAT
Day 52 GF - No desire to bet.
Thanks for the comments all, they help and mean a lot.
I am OK. Just a little down still. I am not leaving the forum as it helps me a lot being here. I am keeping busy, decorating at home or projects I have on the go. I am on the right path and I believe I will get there in time.
Stay strong all.
Day 54 GF - no desire to bet.
Keeping busy. stained garden fence this morning. Now taking the little guy into the city centre to see the Christmas deccies.
Stay strong all.
57 Days GF - No desire to bet.
Keeping busy, D.I.Y, writing, meetings, counselling. Getting there and feel positive, though a long way to go.
This Mindfulness is doing me wonders. I hardly ever relax, always have a mind sthat spins. Well this is calming me and making me see things clearer. I fully recommend it to anyone.
Stay strong all
Day 58 GF - No desire to bet.
Had counselling today. They are now getting tougher with me and are going into my past a lot. It is hard at times and it drains me so much, but I want to get somewhere with all of this so I have to go through it all.
Hey, 5 months no smoking for me today...very proud of that.
Mindfulness is realaxing as anything. Give it a try.
Stay strong all.
The 6 and the o
Day 60 GF - no desire to bet.
Out at play centre and shops. Keeping busy.
Stay strong all.
Congratulations on 60 days! Great to see all your jobs getting done and relaxing as well!
You're obviously doing something right!! x
Thank you Little Miss.
61 days GF - No desire to bet
I guess my gambling issues really are related to my illness, conditions, or whatever they call it. I can see a lot clearer now and I am starting to understand a lot. Calming myself is the most important thing, if I stay calm I work fine. The mindfulness is brilliant and has shown me all kinds, that has helped me so much. I also look at ways to reduce anything I can. I drank tons of coffee, I have now gone decaff, I need to get more exercise in and a few changes to my diet. I am keeping busy, small DIY jobs help my mind. I will still have my dark days of depression, but now I know why, I know what is going on, and I know I will come through it all.Understanding what I have and why I do certain things is a major help. It is all small steps on a long journey, but I am on the path and I can see a light. I will be happy.
Stay strong all.
60 days great stuff ant thanks for my post things and life are becoming a lot more relaxed compared to the dramatic times of the gamble hope your good pal.you are coping great with your bi polar and stopping gambling it's a massive achievement you should be proud my mate keep going and you can have a good Christmas speak soon
Hello mate, feeling pretty humbled that you read through my crazy (there have been some wild spells in the world of GamCare since I’ve been here I can tell you) & glad that you’ve managed to find some inspiration within it.
Great to see how useful you are finding the mindfulness 🙂 Baby steps is all it needs, progress not perfection - ODAAT
Will You Still Need Me
Will You Still Feed Me
When I'm 64 .. Days GF
Thanks for the replies Tommy and ODAAT, very appreciated.
Still plodding along,day by day, step by step.Having a lot of nice times that I enjoy and appreciate now my head is not elsewhere. Making memories- good ones.
Stay strong all
Day 65 GF - No desire to bet.
Mixed feelings. On one hand I am starting to see what makes me tick, makes me do certain things and think in certain ways. However, I am also now seeing how my actions effected others. Not just gambling but my depression, my highs, my way of thinking and my paranoia. Basically, I have probably lost the girl that I love so much, my beautiful wife who I have been with for over half of my life. Not just taht, but my depression sucked her into her own depression. I look now and wonder what the hell went on? how could I have no idea what I was doing? I guess losing her is my punishment now? I was never a bad person, I just got lost along the way. I will get through my mental health, though I hate it for what it turned me into.
Stay strong all.
Hi Ant well done on staying gf your doing fantastic I’ve read through some of your diary. I have just been diagnosed with PTSD after years suffering nightmares, flashbacks anxiety depression so I really understand how you feel. It doesn’t define you it enhances you your bipolar 2 Ant it gives you gifts that others don’t have but yes unfortunately you also suffer. I wish you all the very best, are you on medication now? I’ve been on it years when I could have been diagnosed years ago and received proper help but hey ho I’m getting therapy now so understand too the impact of mental health on addictions like gambling. Keep going Ant best wishes x
Hi Lulubobs
No medication yet. i have to wait to see a NHS psychiatrist to get my medication, so god knows how long it will take? Have doctors appointment tomorrow to nag them and my psychotherapist is trying to jump me up the list. I was diagnosed with severe thought based OCD 4 years ago, also depression and anxiety. Put on ante depressants. Now found out they can effect bipolar, so I stopped taking them. Since off them I have felt calmer and found it easier to cope at times. I still get depressed though I am coping better. I am having counselling and altough tough it is doing me wonders. I feel OK to say it on here so here goes .. I tried to take my life around 27 years ago. They think my Bipolar started just before that event and has gotten worse in the last few years? I have been admitted by the crisis team, seen medics, councellors, therapist. Now I am a bit stunned and angry that this was never picked up earlier. I may have had a better life, I may still be with my wife, who knows?
I am eating well, on Decaff coffee, excercise a bit, and I do Mindfulness. I will beat this.
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