Hi
It is healthy to write down our expereinces to understand what is healthy or unhealthy.
May be people fear step 4 yet if you understand that fears of 4 is due to being punished for being honesta s a child.
The recovery program promotes and compliments our honesty.
The recovery program is about nurturing and encouraging being a healthy person.
By me being a healthy person I am far less likely to go against my own conscience.
The addictions and obsessions just indicated how emotionally vulnerable I use to be.
Once we are in recovery we understand it is not healthy to live in fear.
Abstaining from unhealthy habits is important for our recovery.
Once we are fearless it is so much easier to heal the hurt inner child in us.
It is not about blame or make excuses for our self from the past, it is about healing from the pains.
Money was not going to make me a happy person.
Money was not going to make me a healthy person.
Money was not going to make me a succesful person.
Having a diary helps us become more accountable to our self.
Having a diary helps us focus on our healthy needs.
Having a diary helps us focus on our healthy wants.
Having a diary helps us focus on our healthy goals.
Being accountable to our self is about honesty and our fearlessness.
Healing Love and peace to every one.
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham
188.
Better day today. Still emotional about my ex and her job situation. Nothing I can do about it though. This time it’s not my fault.
So today I learned something about myself. I’m super confident I will never gamble again. I know it. Today however I noticed that my Gamban subscription was only 6 months. Not sure how, but as soon as I noticed my brain thought about gambling. It was only a split second, and I instantly signed up to a 5 year Gamban subscription, but that scared me a little. As confident as I am, I just witnessed the demon poking its head up again. It was a test. I passed it with flying colours, but it was still a test and it’s the first big one I’ve faced. Felt strange to be so comfortable in my power over it, but to see it pop its head up and take over my brain even if it was for the shortest of time. Good lesson. Demon destroyed!
Just a gentle reminder that weakness could have got me today. Luckily I’m in a strong place. Luckily my hatred of gambling took over instantly. I felt dirty even having that thought.
Time for bed. Feeling a little happy with myself for having the resolve to deal with this thought so quickly. Temptation gone for 5 years.
Stay strong 💪
@p6z38njbqm Nice one fish. It is good to know how much 'in the zone' you still are. I found that my mind has a nasty trick of planning for opportunities to gamble against my better judgement.
As you said, you did pass with flying colours. However this did not just happen. It represents a lot of hard work and self realisation.
Sorry to hear about your Ex's job worries. It does not surprise me at all that you are feeling for her situation as you are a good man. You can still be a friend who supports her 😊
Fingers crossed that you will be still posting here is 5 years time when the next GamStop subscription runs out, motivating us all along our way.
189.
I will 100% be here in 5 years time. This place has got me this far. It will get me further. For anyone reading, this place is not a golden ticket. It’s not the magic fix some people want, but it is a massive step in the right direction and an unbelievable support if you are struggling. You still need to put in the work, but by speaking to others in here, taking their advice and often just being told you are doing well, you can get past the urges and tests.
Off to sleep now. Can barely keep my eyes open. Work again tomorrow. Yay 😂
Stay strong 💪
190.
Hanging. Early night. Nuff said!
No gambling, not thoughts
Stay strong 💪
Hi Fish,
Excellent to see you making serene progress still. The test you had earlier this week, I also had too and it does keep us on our toes, that is for sure.
As ever, an inspiring read and congrats on 190 days.
Jay
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