Determined to keep a diary

@p6z38njbqm Fantastic Fish!🐟👏👏👏👏👏. I just knew early doors that you were going to be committed and thank you for being my g.f buddying partner!😆. 

May we both remain on this journey with only 4 days apart 🙏🙏🙏.

Make sure you treat yourself good and proper. That’s an order!! 😁.

Take care.

Your friend Pink Lady 🩷🍎.

@p6z38njbqm 

Oh WOOWWW!!!

300 days!! That’s such an insane achievement Fish. Get in 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

You should be so incredibly proud of yourself. Life actually sounds good for you now and I want it to. Thank you for recording your journey so openly and honestly as it makes us newbies know - IT’s POSSIBLE! 

I hope you had a wonderful day Fish. You absolutely deserve to treat yourself to something special in the shops! Congratulations 🥂 

Em x

Day 303

Stuck at work so had a read through some new posts on here. So sad to see people on day 1. Don't worry if you are on day 1. We are all on day 1 really. We can only do 1 day at a time. The only difference is that once you get control of this addiction, your daily life is more enjoyable. You have free time, money, and your head is much clearer. You tell the truth. You don't hide away from things. Each day for me is day 1, but its a day 1 I've done before, successfully. If you do enough of them, you get good at them. They are not as scary anymore. Day 1 for me starts again tomorrow. Luckily for me, I completed another day 1 yesterday, and the day before. In fact I've done 303 of them. Now my life is in order. My debt is reducing. My bank balance is healthy (ish). My personal life is recovering. 

I only ever gambled as I dreamt of living a good life. Guess what? I'm living it now. 1 day at a time.

Stay strong, and see you all on day 1

@p6z38njbqm Some very wise words Fish... well done on surpassing 300 🙂

Thanks Weirdfish I needed to read this today buddy ❤️ your right every day is day 1 in reality. I'm very aware of how much I'm focusing to ensure there are no slips here. Congrats on 303! 👏 

310 days gf

No issues. No time for issues. Just starting back to back 70 hour weeks a work. Not looking forward to the next few weeks. Luckily I'll get overtime so more money to pay down the debts. Still hoping to be debt free in a few months, dependant on military pension pay-out. Once that's done I'll update my initial ridiculous outlays, my outlays once Stepchange took over, and then how my life has changed with the debt gone. It will help me to realise how I could have been living, but hopefully give others some hope that even in the most desperate financial times, there is a way out.

The end has been in sight debtwise for a few months, but the problems keep arising and moving the date back. I am still comfortable in handling money though and even with times being tough now, I know I can save for minor expenses and still live a happy life. Once I'm debt free, I'll live like a king 🤤. I wont really, but I will be in a much healthier position.

Anyway, back to work.

Stay strong 👍 

Day 319

Not posted in a while as have been smashed at work. Plenty OT so more money but getting really tired now.

I had my first proper gambling crisis a few days ago. I was really tired and a bit stressed and had a proper urge to gamble. Didn't help that Facebook are still occasionally throwing up gambling videos on my feed. I haven't tested Gamban but suspect I could get round it if I tried hard enough. I have a work phone, which would probably work. Luckily I came to my senses and got through it. Weird how it just came out of nowhere though. I looked at my bank account and realised that I had money in my savings that I would not in a million years want to risk. I know that 1 spin of the slots would see this disappear in minutes. Bullet dodged. Lesson learned. Good job I was not complacent. This urge really makes me hate gambling more now. I know its not helped by the sheer amount of gambling adverts on the TV, radio, internet. It's everywhere.

Anyway, in better news. I'm now in a relationship! Early days, but there you go. Maybe the stress of work and the emotions of starting a new relationship played a part, but whatever happens, I will still never gamble again. I've also not see my dog for a few weeks thanks to work. Picking him up this week after 2 hours sleep post nightshift. God I need a break!!

Hope you are all well.

Stay strong 👍 

@p6z38njbqm Sounds like a carbon copy of what happened to me some weeks back fish!! The most important thing however is that neither of us acted on it and quickly realised how far we have come and how much better everything in our lives are now 👌💪.

I guessed you were in a new relationship when I did not see your name pop up for a while.  Made up for you and hope all going well there 🤞🙏.

Take care and keep going on the g.f train track.

Your friend Pink Lady 🩷🍎.

Thanks pinky. Early days yet, but nice to have someone to chat to and something to look forward to if and when I even get a day off!

Day 326:

Still going strong. Reflected on my urge the other day. I swear it’s down to the amount of adverts for gambling. It’s everywhere. Mad to think how many people this affects, and it’s all approved by the government. Mainly because it makes coming money for them. Annoying but that’s the world we live in now. 

Work still brutal although this will be the first week in a long time that I’m not doing any overtime. Still working loads unfortunately and then got dog ok my days off so sleep is not my friend at the moment! Always nice to see my little pooch though. He’s always so happy to see me.

Not long til the year mark now. 1 year since I started this journey. 1 year since my life changed for the better. I feel terrible it impacted others but I could have got through it with help. I understand the trust could never be there and it probably would have ruined any relationship anyway. Doing it myself has taught me so much about myself. It’s given me a huge respect for money. Something I’ve never had. 

Going to check in on the chat room. 

Stay strong 💪 

Day 333

Seems like a while since I’ve posted. Been so busy at work and then having dog round that I’ve been bad at updating on here. I still check in and read all the new posts. 

Looks like I’ll be busy for a good few months at work due to lack of staff but hopefully get that sorted soon. Always nice to have extra cash coming in but it doesn’t half tire me out. 19:30 I got into bed tonight!

No thoughts of gambling. Get the odd flashback to staying up til stupid times chasing losses and praying for a win. How did I live like that? I have a new focus now though that gives me more strength to not go back there. Feeling really happy with my life at the moment. I’ve felt terrible in the past for what I have done to others and how it all unraveled but there comes a time when you have to admit that it has happened and can’t be changed. Time to look forward. 

Time for sleep to do it all again tomorrow!

Stay strong 💪