Day 9
No gambling
On my long drives today my thoughts were drawn to how everyone on this site is addicted to different forms of gambling.
It made me think about how i would love to be a NORMAL gambler, as in a normal person who enjoys a bet but it doesnt have any fixation in their lifes and its just as much a big deal as buying milk is
I do know what its like to be a normal gambler. The chance i had to experience this was 2 years ago when i had my first trip to the horse racing
I went with a few friends who like the horses but arnt big gamblers, they take £100 a when its gone its gone....seeing as they are normal and sensible.
For that weekend i was a normal gambler.
Horse racing does NOTHING for me. I find it boring, repetitive and i spent less than £50 that weekend placing bets on horses.
I made no more than 5 £10 bets and each time it pained me to let go of that money because i got very little pleasure from it. There was no buzz, no real thrill and it was boring.
The best part of it was that a little flutter was just being made in order to join in on the days craic with my friends as they enjoy the racing. I felt like a normal gambler, small budget, once the race was over i had no desire to go chase the money lost.
The other time i was a nomal gambler was in Las Vegas playign Roulette. I bet small, enjoyed the craic with everyone at the table and i had no desire to chase money lost. it was fun.
My vice has been slot machines and poker, thats what im addicted to, I cant walk away from those.
So...for everyone it is different with their addiction. I hate being a gambling addict.....i wish i was just a normal person who enjoyed a gamble...
Because those normal gambling days were great, enjoy a bet...and walk away
Oh well thats just the way it is!
🙂
Day 10 begins
I had a really crappy nightmare about gambling last night. Thats a bit *** but there was a good point to it.
In the past i have had dreams about gambling but it usually results in me winning and waking up disappointed that i didnt actually have the winnings when i woke up!
However last night i dreamt i gambled and whilst i was doing it i felt physically sick and disgusted that i was doing it! I woke up in a bit of a panic but it was a real relief that i hadnt actually broken my clean stretch!
Hopefully thats a sign i really really want to beat it on my own this time
Have a good day everyone
🙂
Congratulations on hitting double figures.
I also sometimes have them gambling dreams, funny how you always seem to win, it's the same when you just think about gambling, it always seems to be the winning days you remember even though we both know the losing days far outnumber the winners !!
Stay strong, and remember, you don't have to 'beat it on my own this time' we will beat it together. (now that does sound a bit ***, lol).
Lee
Ha!!!
Yes it does Lee but ill let you off as the advice is good!! lol
Yes i only seem to think about the losing days when i lose, as a gambler its a case of 'if i gamble today theres no WAY i could lose 500, illl not let that happen'.......
I think we have selective thinking, i know that as time goes on i seem to think less and less of the pain ive caused people and the money ive lost
I often wonder if thats a good thing because part of me thinks 'dont dwell on the past'
But the other part thinks 'you need to remember what you have done so you don't do it again'
You ever find yourself forgetting you have a problem when you dont do it for a long period of time?
I only forget when I have money to gamble !, and I always remember I have a problem when that last pound has gone, that's how my brain works mate.
Well at least i know its not just me then! lol
Day 10
No Gambling
Ohhh i had seriously strong urges early afternoon today.
Fridays are always going to be difficult as it was my predominant gambling day. I always knock off work early afternoon and have free time to gamble away, most of my massive losses have come on a Friday which just ruins my weekends every week
I was thinking how much id love to play some slots or some poker but i snapped out of it and rang my mate and told him to come round and play the ps2 for some craic
That got my mind off it and now its abbbsolutely lashing outside so im not going anywhre now.
Out with the gf and friends later for a meal and drinks, looking forward to that, ill be in a good mood for it because i havent gambled
I need to rememebr that when im laughing and joking tonight because i would be faking the laughter if i had gambled today and it had all gone wrong
Never forget how rubbish you feel and act towards others after gambling losses....we all fake our happiness
Lets not fake it, lets not gamble and make it real
🙂
Hi Ryan,
I've just read through your diary.
Congratulations on getting to ten days! That really is an achievement and you did well not to give into your urges to gamble.
As you've been doing, judging from your post, keeping busy really is the best way to go. It doesn't matter what the activity just as long as your not gambling.
There really is more to life than gambling. All gambling does is take up stupid amounts of time not to mention money and makes us moody and not fun to be around.
You can actually start to enjoy life without gambling.
All the best,
Elite
Stay strong mate, onto day 11.
Remember only too well the nights i've been out with friends and family after a bad day. Laughing when everyone else does, nodding along pretending to be interested in whatever it is everyone is talking about, when really all I would be thinking is I will get some money from somewhere and I will gamble and get that money back tomorrow. (what an idiot !)
Glad you didn't gamble and hope you had a great night.
Lee
Day 11
No Gambling
I had a great night last night, lots of laughter, great fun and it was great to be able to pay for the dinner and drinks for my gf. It felt good to have the money and spend it on time with friends and gf rather than time on my own down playing slots
Today i have had a great day as well. I played golf and had great fun and then me and the boys had a few pints in the club after. A little voice said 'fruit machine' but it was drowned out by this voice....
The voice thats reminding me just how much better my life is without gambling. Im happy, almost carefree, enjoying whats going on around me, listening and just loving it.
I know day 11 doesnt sound like a lot and theres lots of people on here who are thinking 'day 4 or so long way to go'......and as true as that is....the difference you can notice in YOURSELF after 7-10 days is HUGE!
So everyone who isnt far along in their journey, next time your out and about with friends and have been gamble free for a while....take a moment to think how happy you are, and how you arent worrying about money or wishing the time away so you can get back to gambling!
You can do it everyone!
Elite and Lee thanks for your comments, when people post responses to what i write it really inspires me.
I love to hear other peoples thoughts on the problems we face, hope you are both having a great weekend
🙂
This really just shows what life IS like being gamble-free.
So why on earth gamble?!
GT
Hi NIboy - I was just reading Morph's diary when I happened across your, "when you win you lose, when you lose you lose big," post. To me that made perfect sense and if it's OK I'm going steal that from you. I want to ingrain it on my mind and use it as my mantra to drive away the bad thoughts.
I shall now take the time to read your diary.
Regards
J72
"When you win you lose and when you lose you lose big."
Perfect! I, too, will be imprinting this on my mind whenever I get those urges. It really does make perfect sense!
GT
Having now read your diary I can relate to the dreams, NIboy. I have those kind of dreams (winning and losing) frequently.
It's funny when you have the dream where you lose it all and then you wake up.... THE RELIEF!
J72
Hey James and GT
Great to hear from you guys!
Yes i get these random thoughts during my days of not gambling now, cause seeing as i have more time to NOT have to think about how i going to find money to pay debts and gamble my mind wanders to why we all gamble
Im glad you are stealing the phrase, i have stolen a couple of things from other peoples pages that i have put in the 'notes' section of my iphone which really motivate me.
One was a 'gambling makes me....' list of 10 things, eg gambling makes me isolated from conversations because im worried about gambling debts!'
This site is just wall to wall inspiration
And seeing as im not religious in any shape or form ill take the inspiration going in here as my daily dose! lol
🙂
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