Diary of a familiar tale

HI Paulds,

Thanks for the post and a happy new year to you :).

Your so right as the urges get weaker you will continue to get stronger the key for me is to remember as you get stronger you must never get complacent.

The pilot light of this addiction is always burning in the background and one bet will light that fire stronger than ever.

If posting less works for you then go for it, use your diary and others when you need to top up that resolve, meantime sit back and enjoy the view, recovery is a wonderful thing and your doing amazing so be proud !

Take care

Blondie

Hi Paul,

Just popping in 2 say I hope u r ok and staying strong:)

U r doing brilliant, ur determination shines thru!

Have a gr8 nite 🙂

Thanks Charlotte,

Things are not great, not gambling is the only thing I am holding on to. the irony is when I was gambling i thought the rest of my life was holding together.

It isn' t the regret, it isn't the debt, it isn't the lies, it is... just the sadness.

I could write like this forever but there is a spark within that never gives up. I wanted to post a sad song to go with my mood but instead here is one that inspires as it is about NEVER giving up, when others say

'empty your head of the big ideas',

you say

'I don't think so....'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvevWEfSlzM

paulds

Hi mate thanks for your post on my diary.things are hard ryt now for me but am never giving up,i will get rid of this horrible illness 1 day.:-) keep up good work yourself. Jst for today I wont have a bet for a better tomorrow. Cheers take care mate.

Scottyboy

Yeah kinda unbelievable the roller coaster of emotions that gambling brings on. In the end It's always the up heavel of bad ones that hit us the most. Hoping we never gotta feel all that again and only brighter days coming our way.

Day 42

Target Day 43

Thanks for the kind comments ofsupport guys, January is a real tough month for us if the diaries are anything to go by. Just have to take it ODAAT, tomorrow my diary is one year old and that is my target, no more no less. By abstaining I am at least giving myself a chance to rebuild my life, everything else must sprout from that abstinence.

Stay safe and strong

Paulds

hi paul you are so right

keep doing what your doing mate

Hi Paul,

U r doing brilliant 🙂

This is a tough journey full of ups and downs, but ur strength and determination shines thru!

U can do this.... I believe in u!

Have a gr8 nite 🙂

yeah january and a lot of other months can be tough. lol

glad your sticking with it and seeing that year. guess its a life time thing really cause all it takes is that one time and were right back at it. think we seen enough of that in our life times and enough of that. lol

hope your having a great day and time to watch that hope team hopefully pull off another win. lol

Day 43 Gamble free

Target - today!

New Target day 50

Thanks Carl, Charl and B-Soul for your comments, we are all in this together and each time we lend an ear we give strength to others.

Today I reached my target and for that I am now smiling. It feels good and putting one gamble free foot in fron of the other is all I can do these days.

I had a big urge today as i had some cash but I thought why throw away my life again, even if I won I would not be able to stop until I lost. I would have to leave the 2013 gamble free thread and go back to day 1. So I went home with a smile on my face.

Today my diary is one year old, I have counted about 300 dyas gamble free and about 65 days lost to the demon under the stairs. This year I want to make it the big 365 gamble free.

I started this journey not knowing if i would be able to make it to the supermarket ever again without calling in at the bookies, now I give them a v-sigh when I pass.

I started this journey never really truly believing i would be able to give up, the gambling demon had won, he was stronger, I was beaten forever.

The kind people on this site have shown me that this doesn't have to be the case, we can fight back. Through hard work and resilience, through dedication and support from others we can regain our lives.

I embark on another year of this diary with hope in my step and wsh everyone the very best of luck whether on Day 1 or Day 1001. I have not yet won and I don't think there will ever be a winner, but now I believe I can live gamble free whereas a year ago this was impossible.

Contemplations over, new target is the half-century. I am going to post a little less now but will be around reading!

Good luck everyone and stay safe and strong.

Paulds

Well done mate keep up the great work I'm day 44 myself so a mere day ahead of you !!

Like your idea of mini targets might have to borrow it

Well done again and keep up great work

Well 300 out of 365 is pretty dam good and sure beats the other way around. LOL you keep doing what your doing cause It's working.

Hi Paulds,

Massive well done on reaching your target. Keep building up that body armour, Your growing in strength by the day, I can see it in your posts.

Take care

Blondie

Your diary is really impressive

You have put together some great non gambling runs and you should be proud

Smokers get electronic lighters, alcoholics get non alcoholic beer

Gamblers don't have any "ween yourself off" products so to go forever without a gamble is hard and near impossible

The more we go free the easier it gets, your slips have been minor

You should hold your head up high, great job!

Just swung by to see how you were getting on, and glad to see you are still achieving those targets, and doing well at changing your gambling.

I have been guilty of all-or-nothing thinking myself, and if I had gambled 1 day out of hundreds I would think I was rubbish. We can be so mean to ourselves can't we? I think you are doing great! Massive change in your gambling behaviour, and persistent effort. Can't ask more than that for yourself!

Take care,

f x