Easy does it!

A really good sign on two counts!

My diary is halfway down the second page so that means more people posting.

Also I'm not as dependent on posting like I have been. Not to say I won't need it in the future. I've not been myself for the last week or so but above everything I DID NOT GAMBLE and that for me is enough. Hope everyone is OK and keeps posting. Take care

Well done for staying strong and realising when this crazy addiction sneakily gets into your thoughts trying to catch you .

I do not believe they ever go away completely but you seem to spot them for what they are and take the action needed to keep them at bay.

Can you see yourself still posting 5years clean, I can see me still reading and posting but then I fell off the wagon at that point.

I can tell from your posts that you like me put in long hours at work can we both get a good balance between home and work I hope so as I am sure that working too hard contributes to urges .

You are a star I wish you all the best.

Kaza

Hi Kaza

Work is a big issue for me. I think I'm scared of being skint and money running out or something crazy. Quite a contradiction in terms as I used to gamble most of my cash and then make stories up and so on. Today I worked a couple of hours and have decided to take a break. My wife asked me "Could I just..? "and I interjected with a very positve "NO". I am goingh to relax a little and switch off. Thanks for posting Kaza I really see you have a good ***** of recovery and understand the mechanics of addiction. Take care

Seem to have awoken this morning with the black cloud, that was hanging over me, gone. Feel in a lighter mood. This is a frequent occurence throughout my days. I so badly wanted to gamble to eliviate the dark days but I toughened it out and feel better for it.

I drove alng the road yesterday afternoon and replicated one of those talks to myself in regards of losing all my money and what lies I would tell etc. What a very nice feeling to know the cash was till in my pocket and untouched. Quite a surreal experience. Relief was fantastic to know I did not repeat the pattern I would have done a few months ago. It is about being aware of the stting myself up signs. I will grow stronger from this as I have really come through a big test and never buckled. Weekends are easy for me but as I said I'm feeling better now. If anyone is new to this site please tough it out it is worth it once you get through the first few weeks. Not gambling is brilliant, you don't have to lie where your money is going because it still goes on sensible things. I'm going to enjoy my upturn for a few days but not get carried away. Take care

Hiya Smiler,

Well done...you had the strength and awareness to get through your black cloud and yes you will get even stronger for it...have a lovely weekend 🙂

Del xox

Another barrier put up in this big fight against those evil gambling demon thoughts.

And that can only be a great thing.

A huge well done on getting through that black cloud of yours - onwards and upwards!

GT

Thanks for your post smiler and well done for gettin through your dark cloud. Another hurdle overcome, and your coming out the otherside stronger. You've got the right mentality to beat and live with this addiction. Keep up the gd work. CL.

Thanks guys

Really don't know what the difference is between two days ago and now. I was carrying a fair bit of cash and maybe I was setting myself up. I said to my wife this morning that I had some cash and now she knows I feel better. Although I wasn't hiding it from her I just mounted up some spare as I was collecting it from clients. Feel totally different today. Whatv I think I'm trying to say is hang in there if you get in a tight spot as it does pass. Take care

Hi Smiler.. thanks for dropping in my diary mate. I woke up feeling sorry for myself but that feeling is passing rapidly. Like you say, tight spots do pass. Glad you recognised your own triggers and dealt with them. Have a great day. take care.. S.A 🙂

It's funny how I have watched both rugby matches this weekend (halfway through second) and I keep thinking about the odds of what team would have been favourite. I would not usually have gambled on matches but knowing the odds seem to be important to me. Is that because I like to be able to predict who is going to win!!!

It feels alien to watch a match with no idea who "should" win. Quite annoying really but not in a bad way.

Hey thanks smiler for the post on my diary, like you say it is all part of recovery and debts must be paid, then its a clean slate, just when you see it in black and white what you have done its scarey, guess that is what internet gamblin does as it doesnt seem like real money (tilll you get the bill that is) when putting notes directly into a machine then that is real, one minute 200 notes in your hand, the next nothing! Well good luck with your recovery, onward and upward and keep that money in your pocket, hope the coming week is good for ya.

Hi smiler,

how quickly things change eh! I feel for you blokes (and sometimes ladies) who have a real interest in sport, when that used to be linked with betting. I never have that problem of thinking about odds etc.

Sounds like you are doing just great.

Take care,

f x

Thanks Freda

Just an odd observation I made regarding the rugby today. Even if I didn't bet on the outcome (which I never did or would have) I still want to know the odds. Not sure where this leads to but I would be interested for any views. I felt like the whole thing was incomplete as I wanted to know who was favourites. I fely uncomfortable not knowing as if something was missing. Anyway anoyther gamble free day and one tomorrow God willing. Take care

Maybe this has nothing to do with wanting a bet more about who is viewed as the underdog . I do not have a lot of interest in sport, but i do like strictly and the xfactor.(is that sad to admit that) When I read the paper I am always interested who is favourite to win , and where the others come in the pecking order. I have never bet on anything like this, when someone wins I do not think I would of won x amount of pounds, I just like to see if the world agrees with who I think is the best or worst.

Sorry to ramble , do you sort of see what I am talking about

Kaza

Hi Kaza

You are correct there. I, too, like X factor and I'm always interested in who's favourite but would have never placed a bet. I guess it's just to see if we are in agreement with the rest of the world. However with me I would look at the betting first before I decide who I want to win. And yes you guessed it I would normally go for the favourite. A case of I want to be seen to know best I think. Madness really.

However on a different note. I had the urge or feeling today of having a bet but thought about it quite incrediously. I was trying to solve what having that bety actually does for me. How does it help me. I really did not know the answer. Where was I running to. I confronted it head on and could not find an answer. Hopefully I haveturned the corner and the demons will go away. Sorry if this is banging on in the same groove but it is real for me. I will get through this little episode and I will not gamble. Take care