Feel safe to be here

For some reason I feel safe as I writing this.  Well short term. Im just writing as I’m thinking. I seem to come back here every 6 months or so and successfully seem to stop with what I only can say is the support of the group. That’s why I feel extremely relieved while I’m writing this. 
I was sat here 4 months ago after falling off the wagon and you guys picked me up and replied showing support.  I always seem to be able to stop when I come here, short term ticked i guess you can say.

then I’m not sure what goes wrong. I stop coming here, forget or pretend I have solved it maybe, and then don’t realise for a few months, that what the f!!k am I actually doing betting I have a problem .

I have been saying to my self for the last few weeks I’ll post here and speak to someone on the forum. I know I’m safe then....tonight I’m actually buzzing that I come here. I know it’s strange , knowing that I need to come here and am 95% here, but some how could get all the way.