feeling stupid and down

not gambled but really struggling with temptation,trying to find other things to think about and do

not posted for a few weeks as been too ashamed totally lost control and gambled many times and spent a fortune I do not have, back panicking and feeling sick at what I've done, feel like thrown away all the hard work of staying away from gambling, I know I need more help but do not know where I can find it, looked for a gamblers anonymous but no meeting near where I live

Phone the helpline...They can arrange counselling!

Hi Gareth

The main thing is do not hide behind any falls you have in the recovery process....Mr Gamble loves your vulnerability

Okay draw a line under your errors... jesus most of us here have been there and so have I and speak from experience.

Keep this site as your way to reflect, speak when moments of weakness strike.

You will find many people on here with advise and support regardless

thought I should update, for my own sake. It has been 10 days since last relapse and I've managed to stay clean (actually how I feel too!) I've tried keep myself busier and more active rather than sitting and ruminating about my gambling and losses which makes me feel even lower and when I'm feeling low and depressed I tend to think sod it and gamble, so I need break the cycle of - when I feel bad and depressed I gamble - gambling and the emotions I have after of guilt and shame and self disgust cause me to feel depressed - and around and around it goes. I know I have problems with depression and anxiety anyway and do not totally blame gambling for them, but it does help the situation and when I am feeling better I sabotage myself by gambling. So I want to finally break the cycle

managed nearly 3 weeks with no gambling now, I watched the documentary program on fixed odds betting terminals the other night and it has helped my resolve during times of temptation, the program showed the effects and how the brain is stimulated and why so addictive, it also showed the damage it does and has helped me look at those d**n machines in a new light and just how evil they are they are made to be highly addictive, yes I have aproblem and addictive personality but those machines are targeted at people like me

another relapse yesterday and same emotions, I have finally realized I needed to do self exclusion so have been in and done the forms today in all local betting shops I play the machines in. I know people are probably thinking why the hell as it taken so long for me to do it, the answer I guess is pride and I feel embarrassed and humiliated by my gambling problem already and having to go in and talk to the staff in a shop was something I dreaded. the experience was acyually much better than expected the staff were helpful and I feel much better for doing it, if anyone else is like me and put off self exclusion due to pride/embarrassment, please try it I feel much better for it.

feeling much better and more positive than have done for a long time and it is down to self exclusion, I really hope and want this to be the turning point for me

In the past I have just come on here to write howdown Iam and what an idiot as I have failed again. Well today is a different post, it is over two months since I last gambled. this is after gambling for over 20 years and repeatedly ruining my life. The turning point for me was finally accepting that I needed help. Then taking all the help I could, the biggest difference was self exclusion I put this off for a long time, probably through a mixture of shame and embarrassment. When I finally did it and excluded from all betting shops and online, it was no where near as bad as I thought and I felt so much better for doing it! We can beat this I believe, but grab any help you can, I finally realised whats more embarrassing telling betting shop I cannot control my gambling and asking to be excluded or standing in a shop for hours till I empty my bank account and let everyone down! I want this to be a positive message though, the advice on here does help but we have to do it.

I wish you all well, and those in bad places I have been there many times, but exclude and things do get better

Welcome back. It must be so good for you to come back on here to share your success and pass on such a good message - self excluding from bookies .
Sounds like you're in a good place at the moment. I wish you continued success. All the best.
LML

Once again I am a total mess, I found a new betting shop that I was not excluded from and have been in repeatedly, I have lost a fortune...credit cards ran up....and emptied overdrafts. Just feel so useless I am 40 years old and still being so stupid and unable to control myself, and wrecking my life and any future I could have

hey mate,

same thing happened to me self excluded from every where I could think of, all was going well then found by accident a place,that I could gamble in £2 then turned in to -£200 then spiralled from there, long and short of it is my last melt down was 5 days ago where I did my last £240 and because that was all the money I had untill payday I have been so weak with hunger for days now eating bread and beans once a day, fyi Iam 38 and feel the same.

If you need me I got your back jack

Thanks for replying Rob, I hope things get better for you and me both. relapses hurt so bad...has knocked my confidence I can get rid of my addiction

Of course you can mate,
To quote one of my all time fav speeches. " if you let it life will beat you down over and over, its not how hard you can get it, its about how many times you can get back up" I think it was pretty much on those lines.

Trust me when I say this I have woken up countless times my arms cut to shreds,sheets duvets ruined, have experienced hunger like i could not imagine, spent so many days hours years thinking Its to late to change, i have missed out on so much, never going to be loved etc.

Its a brutal brutal cycle, but its a temporary mind untill you find the balls the courage and honesty to fight, then at that point there is nothing you cannot acheive.