I'm 29, like most this addiction snuck up on me and smothered me while I still thought I was in control. Online slots. I got into debt after uni and started gambling lightly as I spiralled into an IVA. 4 years into my IVA, and it's been some journey. I've earned and lost 10s of 1000s. I would estimate £30K. Extended debt, lied to family, spent wedding gifts. And the worst thing, no one knows the truth. Well, today it stops.
Like many, I've stopped before and started again. Thought I had this b****r of an addiction under control. I didn't. Like many, I earn a lot £40K+ - in the region of £55K sometimes.
My husband knows nothing. I have spent our honeymoon fund, given from friends and family for our wedding. It's all gone. I have a few months to scrape together the savings again so we can actually go. Maybe I can do this, stop now and make steps to recover from the damage I've caused. I will work more, earn more, save every penny. I'm going to put aside £10 every day that I don't gamble.
I can't tell anyone what I've done. I know I should but I've borrowed from both parents, friends. I know I should but it's too hard. They will never trust me again. Not for years. I can beat this. I need to beat this. I'm desperate. I know it's wrong but I was sad when I added the gamblock software. It's over. The escapism of the games and the fun (although it's not fun). I need to deal with real life, real debt, real mental health/physical health and caring for a terminally ill parent. Time to get real. Fingers crossed today is the first of all my days gamble free.
I have just joined the site and your post is the first one that I've read.
My situation is similar to yours, no one knows about my problem. I have a good job that pays very well but have absolutely nothing yo show for this. All my money has gone on playing online slots. I get no enjoyment from this but spend my time chasing what I've lost.
Today I've closed all my regular accounts but I know there is accounts out there that I don't remember.
I owe friends and family members so much money and I've lied to obtain this. I've just kept hoping for that elusive 'big win' so I can repay them in a lump
sum.
I wish you all the best for your journey. Hopefully we have made this determined decision today and can beat this.
Good luck. I hope we can do this. Maybe posting on here is the first step on a long road for us. It's so hard without anyone knowing but maybe with the support on here, without judgement, we can do it.
Hi Rachel,
well done for putting Gamblock on your device and well done for coming on here and posting. I appreciate it has not been an easy step.
It sounds like you are going through a very challenging time, sorry to hear about your terminally ill parent. As you say, gambling can be a means to escape reality. And when reality is as challenging as it is for you, beating this alone is very difficult. It sounds like you would benefit from additional support - both from someone around you and also perhaps in form of one-to-one counselling.
GamCare offers free one-to-one counselling, so if you are interested please get in touch with the Helpline on 0808 8020 133 or the Netline here.
And of course please also keep posting.
All the best,
Eva
Forum Admin
Online slots, roulette, scratchcards are highly addictive, there used to be video on here of what it does to your brain to keep you coming back for more, the way they are programmed the sounds to trick your brain, lights and music are designed to making playing addictive and they all tease players with near-misses, or reward minor wins that are disguised among big wins, but its all a game there would not be hundreds of online casinos if the player ever won. Well done for using gamban and look out for Gamstop that is launching soon that will make it impossible to gamble online if you set it up correctly. Stay focused and resist the urges, it will be difficult but you can get your life back.
Thank you, smashed. Two days down, money in account but no gambling. Here's hoping I can do it.
Be strong and you'll get through it. It's not an easy feat but you'll get there as we're all trying to on this journey.
The saving and working element will help, although you've got to take care of yourself too.
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