Festina Lente

Thanks Lotte, dying in the gym at the mo'. Maisie with her nan till 2. Everything good at the moment, hope it is with you all. Guess what, I won the fishing march last night! Yes I'm the champ, gold for Gordon. I tried different tactics, I fished in a Victorian tweed suit complete with flat cap, totally threw the opposition, put them off their stride. The fish complied with my stature of authority and threw themselves onto my hook. Great night, spend the cash later with Maisie. Been on a calorie controlled diet for 13 days now, it's tough, 1,700 cals a day. I like a challenge. Miss the cakes and vindaloo tho'.

Back to the sweaty grind now, take care all. Keep busy, keep strong

Steggy

Good day, thinking less and less about gambling. The pull, like the quicksand of misery has lessened its grip. I hope I never gamble again but in reality it feels like one day I will, the secret is to put that one day as far off as possible. I still pang for it but those pangs are met with revulsion and they go no further.

Taking Maisie to the gym for the first time tomorrow, she's really excited, bless her. It'll be touch and go whether or not she'll get in. You have to be at least 14 I think, although she's only nine she's a big B*****r. I should know, just carried the lazy mare up the stairs to bed. Strong she is, make a great shot putter or bouncer when she's older. I hope she gets in, she'll love it, it'll be a good memory for her, they're so important.

Felt funny winning the fish competition last night. I enjoyed winning the title for want of a better expression but not so much the prize money, the idea of 'winning' money seems uncomfortable with me. Yet as I said earlier it was the achievement what mattered to me the most.

I used to believe in the tooth fairy, father Christmas, ghosts, aliens, the supernatural, God, Karma but I don't anymore. I just believe in the world I see before me and I'm happy I've reached this point in my life. The amount of lucky objects I had when I gambled were unbelievable. Now I'm free of that way of thinking, things happen and I accept them good or bad. I'm sorry but I don't really think things happen for a reason. The reason why I'm disclosing this is because a good friend of mine died of cancer last week, he was a fatherly type of figure and good to talk to, a decent man. His funeral is on Monday, instead of getting him flowers I decided to donate my 25 year vinyl collection to Marie Curie instead of breaking down the collection and selling them on, as I'd previously planned to do. If I still believed in Karma I'd have associated this act with my winning of the fishing match. I'm glad I'm a skeptic, I won it through just fishing and not via heavenly intervention. I'm thinking less like a gambler, more rational. Although my friend died, and cancer is a terrible, awful way to go, I'll not mourn his death but remember gladly the time I got to know him. I feel more sorrow for his lovely family he's left behind, I know they'll miss him dearly.

Better go know, time for bo bo's, busy day tomorrow, looking forward to it. Tomorrow, the sun doesn't need to shine for me. Take care, Arnold Stegzenegger

Hi Steve

Great post, love the outlook you have, it seems very solid and real. keep pushing that day as far into the future as you can and enjoying the time in between. Sorry to hear about your friend but at least the pain has gone.

Have a great weekend

John

Yo

,

He

He came. He saw. He CONCORED.......

HIGH FIVE !!

Shiny xxxxxx

Hi Steve,

Ur posts again make me smile, u have such a good sense of humour thanks 4 all the laughs and smiles it's kept me going sometimes 🙂

I'm really sorry 2 read about ur friend, sometimes life can be cruel. I hope u r ok.

I hope Maisie hasn't been pulling out 2 many grey hairs lol

Have a gr8 wknd Steve xx

Mayo hammered down by 12 points next up 4 mayo is dublin in the semi final should be 80000 at that game in a few weeks.

Sorry to hear about your mate steve!

Take care

P.S your doing really well a day at a time but try and keep your guard up because this dis ease is very very sneaky

Go steg Go steg, Olympic fishing champion. Well done steg. ! Sounds like you are having a great time and packing in as much as you can. Hope you managed to sneak maisie into the gym .

Keep going steg, your posts always put a smile on my face.

Blondie x

Bloody Mother in law! Scuppered my plans again. All set to instigate 'operation gymnasium' with Maisie when she put in her two penneth's worth. 'Maisie might pull a muscle,' 'you've got to be 12,' she croaked negatively. Maisie, who loves the old dear admirably got cold feet and pulled out. d**n and blast. She cudda been a shot putter, she cudda been a contender Charley. Anyway she just carried on yanking out my grey hairs instead. She suggested I dyed it, I thought this would be better than baking cakes so we went the shops to pick up the merchandise. Maisie suggested shed do it and to be honest I was beyond caring what with my previous plans being scuppered. I glanced over the instructions and told her what to do. She did it well but unfortunately we left it in for 20 mins, apparently it's supposed to be five. Frantically we washed it out (towels ruined, shoulders, neck, ears, forehead stained indelibly). To my horror and Maisies amusement it came out blacker than black. I look absolutely ridiculous and feel somewhat self conscious. I look like a 40 odd year old Goth, which is no mean look. To make matters worse I've got that funeral tomorrow. The last thing I want is to be walking through a graveyard looking like the lost son of Dracula, I'm liable to be staked through the heart by a have a go hero on an acid trip comedown. All my past work colleagues will be there too, they'll think I'm going through yet another mid life crisis. Oh well, at least I haven't gambled for ages.

Take care, gotta go, gotta find my mascara and perfect my sullen look.

Steve

o*g........Steg.........You are sooooooo funny!

Dropped in to see how the gym went!!

Guess you wont get a part in Mr Greys film now eh?

Thank you for brightening this wombles little world today!!

Sue x

Hi Steve,

Ur last post made me laugh soooo much..... I can just picture it... the panic and shock lol 🙂

I hope 2moro goes as well as it can, stay strong x

Hi Steve

Still posting really funny posts and making us laugh and with little words bout gambling , which just goes to show how far on u r in ur recovery , the last line in ur posts with no thoughts for gambling shows that there's no complacency

For me it's a pleasure to read and be entertained and then to post on ur diary of who is in such a good place now and all down to ur hard work and effort

Take care

Castle2

Decided on a change of name, part of the revolution/evolution. Carpe Diem.

Steg

Well that confused me ,

My youngest got really rather chubby pre teen , was not allowed to go to a gym.

Went out and brought a trampoline for the garden , within 3 months she had lost all the puppy fat .

One of my better investments ........lol

Hope tomorrow is not tooooo sad .

Shiny xxxxxxxxxx

Whatever happened to Lazarus? We never got to know that. How long was his reprieve for? Did he get knocked over by a camel the following day? Choked on a date? Or is he still going today? Nothing is guaranteed in life, I've given myself an opportunity to rise again, only I can end it. I'd be a fool if I did but foolishness is part of being human. Must remain strong, enjoy life but remain focused, keep positive, keep determined, tread amongst the flowers and not through the nettles. I've felt their pain, must remember.

hmmm so there you are? Thought by changing your name you could get away eh..

Sorry to hear about your friend steg as you said nothing in life is guaranteed and without playing doom and gloom I try and remind myself of this.

So now that your diary has brought a smile back to my face.. Onward and upwards.

Hope it goes ok and that your not staked in the heart by some vampire catcher.

Blondie x