I spent my Saturday afternoon crying thinking how can I stop this, I had God knows what ideas in my head from taking pills to all sorts of lies I could tell. Luckily my daughter interrupted my thoughts and I only had one I have to stop I am fed up with the money I have wasted not having money to treat the kids fed up with who I have become I used to be very strong emotionally now I am a quivering wreck, I have become depressed alone skint I feel I have no one to talk to as I don't have time for friends to busy gambling...so today I have joined this site I have closed all accounts and I am about to install K9 software. I feel absolutely terrified pankicy and tired but I know I have to,, next step tell my other half what I have done...( I may be single tomorrow)... Here I go I feel I have nothing left to lose so let's see how he reacts I think this is the hardest bit coming clean will he understand will he help/ support me or will he run I am hoping on the first one. Will be back tomorrow. Wish me luck.
Hi and welcome to GC Ali ☺
So many brave steps already made and I'm really proud of you!
It takes so much strength to admit you have a problem, accept defeat and open up.
Please keep reading and posting. There are loads of support and encouragement on these pages. Recovery is possible if you make that commitment to stay safe just for today. It truly is a journey of one day at a time.
Please contact GC also, they offer free 1 to 1 counselling in many areas of UK, maybe worth looking into the reasons why you keep hiding behind slots.
As i said, you have made huge steps forward, stay strong and embrace recovery. You don't need luck, that has run out long ago, you need to stay true to yourself and everyone around you and reap the benefits every day brings. It's not an easy journey, loads of emotions but so worth it because you're claiming your life back!
Keep posting and wish you well going forward ☺..you're not alone
Sandra
Thank you hopeful soul, you made me cry, just hearing something like really proud of you helps (even from a stranger).
Well done on starting a diary, Ali776.
The friendly camaradarie you can find on these pages will hopefully help you to feel less alone and better supported. Our forum members will be understanding of the emotional turmoil you've experienced as they have lived through challenging times too.
You've mentioned feeling depressed and anxious, and it seems you even had suicidal feelings at times... you could talk with your GP about your mood if you are finding it a struggle lately. Also the Samaritans freephone 116 123 is there 24 hours a day, of you want to talk to them about how you have been feeling. http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us
Sounds like you're keen to protect yourself with blocking software; there is more information about filters and parental controls here: http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-advice/what-can-you-do/blocking-software#.VCA52fldXww
Do feel welcome to talk with a GamCare adviser on our freephone 0808 8020 133. The advisers can let you know more about local support including free counselling appointment services, if you'd like to know more about specialist help near you.
Take care,
Forum Admin.
Awee..no no no..please don't cry! Unless it's one of those snotty cries where you smile, cry, smile a little more, wipe your nose and repeat it few times 😉
You're not alone! You have all the rights to success and the only and most important thing you need to do is want recovery more than next bet..you can do it!
Now, enough tears cause that sets me off too...smiles are way better emotion huh ☺
Be proud!
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