Day One
I will call this day one as although I havent gambled since Friday, today has been the first opportunity to do so as I had some money paid into my account. I had a plan of what I was going to do, ie draw it all out so i have nothing on my card to gamble.
First of all, I registered with Gamstop over the weekend, something I wish I had done sooner, and highly recommend it to anyone who wants to stop gambing online. It has disabled most of my accounts, especially my favourite, my favourite enemy that is. Knowing i had no money to play with yesterday, I tried a couple of accounts which logged me in successfully. I self excluded straight away - it was actually quite heart wrenching, like the end of a relationship. A bloody bad one at that but even those types are hard to say goodbye to.
My money went in today, when I left work guess what I did.....???????
I went straight to the cashpoint and withdrew it all. Boom!!!!!
I was walking round the supermarket like Lady Muck, I'll have this, I'll have that. Got a right shop in! Came home cooked a lovely tea, cleaned the bathroom, took the dog out, watched a bit of telly. Thought about gambling once or twice and cant say I wouldnt have done it if i'd had the opportunity. I feel so relaxed now knowing i wont be doing the usual stay up late, spin, spin, spin, numb finger, spin spin, lose, cry, sleepless night, numb everything. I am very happy.
Today is a bit of a test as I get paid from work on Thursday. My money goes in around 5.30pm, (i know, weird and inconvenent!), so I have taken a shift at work Thursday evening so I dont have to come home and try and find ways to gamble. My direct debits will come out the following day, and it is up to me to pay a few things on my card and withdraw the rest. I have planned to be out Friday evening and hope to be working Saturday too so I am busy. I think that will be a big part of my recovery - work work work.
So tonight I am sat here knowing i have money in my purse. I feel strong and I am determined to keep this up. I need to stick to this routine and put an end to a miserable life of gambing.
Well done for admitting you have a problem and for resisting the temptation today. I too have signed up for gamstop and that was a big help. I’d also recommend looking at blocking software which will stop you accessing these sites.
I’ve had a number of relapses over the years and I’ve found that as time passes temptation gets bigger and the losses / destruction of previous times get forgotten - my view is best to put all the blocks in place now when it really hurts, as it removes the temptation once the hurt starts to subside
Hello,
We’re all on this journey together and I hope you pull through the other side! I’m only 9 days gamble free and already feeling better in myself. Get all the blocks in place, imagine where you will be physically and financially in 6 months if you don’t gamble. That’s what’s pulling me through.
Jo/LPL
A big part of overcoming this disease is potentially entrusting money to a secure person in your life. Family member, other half, friend. A lot of people try not to do this at first as they dont want to feel weak. Its a sign of weakness right? But if you're a compulsive gambler. You will lie to people, you will lie to yourself. You may not have done it yet, you might have. IF somoene else has control of your money, in addition to the blocks, it makes it so much harder to gamble. In fact it will make it that much harder, once you've gone through all the trouble to get there, the craving will be over and you wont want/need to.
The money idea Jo is a good one, again I'll caveat though. Think of gambling as alcohol - say I'm an alcoholic and I love a bottle of vodka a night. Its bad for me, im addicted to it and I stop. Is it the vodka im addicted to, or the alcohol? If I was at a meal with Family would you advise me against having a glass of wine because im an alcoholic? Yes because its the alcohol and I'll take it in whatever form I will get it.
Apply this to gambling. You might have self excluded online and potentially in shops. Withdrawing the money into physical hard cash removes the "online" gambling, completely. Thats great. But if you happen to go on a friends birthday to Cheltenham races for example. Whats stopping you burning that big wad of cash in your pocket, nothing. Just like with the alcohol, you will (as a compulsive gambler) - take gambling wherever you can. Which is why I would suggest trusting someone else with money.
That being said, the steps you have made are positive. I hope you say GF!!
E
Hi Jo
Just popping by before work to make sure your ok and staying gf,keep up the good work and drop an update 🙂
stay strong one day at a time.
Lib
Hi all
Well the progress I have made this week is....
Made good decisions Monday regards to the money going in my account - yay! Felt so good having the cash.
I relaxed Tues, worked Weds eve & havent had the urge to gamble as A) I havent had any money in my account and B) I registered with gamstop.
Yesterday teatime my wages went in my account and I sit here now with not one penny in my account. Why?
Because as soon as my hard earned cash hit my account i transferred all my money for bills, credit card etc. I then went to draw all the rest out and i am happy to say I have enough cash to last me the rest of the month stored away in a safe place at home.
I have been out for tea this evening and had a lovely time. Something i wouldnt normally do - i would just want to come home and gamble! I feel so much more relaxed, cant believe I am using the laptop as we speak and I havent got several online gambling site tabs open. I havent even tried to open any other accounts.
I will sit and watch a bit of telly now and sleep well tonight. Things are looking up and I feel really great.
With regards to handing over my finances, I really dont have anyone I could give that responsibilty to. I would do it, theres just no one that can do it for me.
I am clear for this month as I dont have any money in my account, and wont get any more until payday. I will follow the same plan next month and see how I go.
Lib - how did your payday go? I hope you are ok and doing well? Let me know xxx
Egdam - than you for your post, some really good advice.
Safe to say I have no trips to the races planned, I'd actually hate that, crowds, noise, people, etc! I'm also not interested in bookies, same, the fear of not having my own space, other people, the unknown. I find it a biggy just walking in to a familiar shop let alone a betting one. Its just not me at all.
Being such a homely creature, the appeal was ( and i do mean was) doing it in the comfort of my own home. This i can no longer do. May be I will try, I dont know but i am keeping busy and dont have the time or energy at the moment.
I'll continue stopping by for more advice, thank you and all the very best to you xxx
Hey hun,
Payday has gone fine for the first time in about 6 months,still skint as i've had to pay a hugh chunk of my rent arrears,so this month and the next couple of months while i get arrears sorted will be a struggle but i've got through with alot less over the last few months so cant complain to much.Treated the kids to a take away,which is something we havent had for a while.
Wish Gamstop had been around a few years ago its a real life line.
Glad to hear things went well and all bills are paid 🙂 another step forward on the road to recovery.
Staying Strong one day at a time
Lib x
Hi again, just wanted to post on here to get it out of my system.
Had a bad weekend, wanting to gamble. I had, or so i thought enough money in cash to last me all month. That ran out and i found my self with no money for the next 2 weeks. Not through gambling, which is a bonus, I have treated myself, been out, not spent loads but i thought £50 per week was enough and it wasnt. I shall manage my money better next month, but for now I am skint!
So this led me to applying for every single pay day loan there is going, only to be rejected by all of them. Time consuming or what! So in my despair I got the horrible urge to gamble, to get the thrill, to get the feeling of being so far away. I have googled all sites and tried to join up to a few new ones. I was in pure desperate 'i need to do this' gamble mode. I dont know what i would have gambled, having £20 in my purse to last me 2 weeks I would have probably gone to pay that in at the cashpoint and had a few spins only to lose it.
I didnt gamble, only because I joined gamstop last month, and thank god i did. All sites I tried wouldnt let me register because i am regostered with gamstop. That 2 minute registration has saved me from this demon.
I dont feel great though, knowing that the urge is still there but i reckon it will take time. I played on a few demo games which helped i think, when i 'lost' anyways. Just not sure how i will get through the next couple of weeks with £20 to my name! Oh well at least I paid my bills this month.
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