fresh start

Total agree signalman yesterday was just pathetic chucking money away on a machine. Even the manager behind counter said I’m pleased you have taken that money because I was starting to get worried. It’s not the first time somebody said that to me in 2 different betting shops. I had to stop when I did or I would have lost every penny I have something clicked. Still not in debt but if I continue I will be.

Hi Boro and S .

Looking at your comment's above and the replies, I don't think I ever came across a CG in my betting career that would even admit to losing very often ? , the conversation was usualy " How's yer luck mate " ? and the reply along the lines of either " Yeah , I'm up a few quid " or " Just about broken even " :)) . . Looking back it was no different to the reply's I would give and goes to show how I couldn't even be honest with myself or another CG whilst in action .

Boro , It's addiction having you believe it's not a " Loss " just as addiction is telling you that " Come April everything's gonna be fine " , it's not your fault mate but you do need to seek more help or take more action if this repeat cycle is gonna come to an end .

As signalman has said £ 1500 is a huge sum to lose in a short period but all the time your still in gambling mode you'll always believe you'll win it back so no problem eh ? , I once lost £ 7,500 in a few day's ( winning's as you put it ) from a good night in the casino plus another couple of grand that wasn't winning's , that's £ 9,500 in a short period , a few months wages mate and it makes me feel sick now at the thought of what I could have done with it if I'd stopped but of course just like yourself it wasn't going to happen till I'd lost the lot .

Like I always say It's "About how much you want to stop " , I'm sure you will at some point but when that point comes is down to you buddy .

Stay well mate

Alan

I have no doubt in my mind come April things will be better for me Alan. But I agree as a compulsive gambler you convince yourself it’s winnings so it doesn’t matter. It is winnings but I had the money it was mine. I always appreciate everybody comments on my diary it does help even tho my gambling’s out of control and it seems like I don’t take people advice

How scary is it though when you are gambling uncontrollably. I would say the last 4 or 5 months have been ridiculous gambling wise I’m very fortunate I’m not in a lot of debt. All on the fobt

That's just it mate it is uncontrolable , nothing matters even though we can see what's happening before our eyes , we just don't care at that point and your right that's Scary .

Much of mine was at the hand's of the FOBT , so I know how it feels bud and I hope that come April it all goes ahead and if nothing else it limits the damage for you mate :)) .

I do. It needs to because I can’t live like this

Boro wrote:

I had to stop when I did or I would have lost every penny I have something clicked.

Well that's something to hold onto. How I wish I had that mechanism to cut my losses on so many occasions. I guess it clicked at the time because you hit a horrible come down when the money dwindled away - what started as a buzz ended up as torture?

I think there is hope if you can transfer that 'click' towards gambling in its entirety. What I mean is getting your head around the idea that even if you 'win' it's still torture... Your booking your ticket for the next showing... For a film you've already seen a million times... it's a s**t film and you know it doesn't end well... yet your booking your ticket for another showing even when you win some. Its all torture to a CG, win or lose mate.

It may seem like youre not taking people's advice but I think I speak for most on here when I say I don't think it's taken that way, gambling has you by the balls mate... I think that's what people see. It hurts to see it and people just want to try and help you get on top of it. We've all been there which is why it hurts to see you going through it.

Also we all know at the time of entering into a bookie the brain is scrambled, all the advice you receive on here goes out the window. So again, don't feel ungrateful. There is a lot of compassion on here and I hope you gain strength from the support you receive on here.

Truth be told if anyone has become bored of repeating themselves on your diary with blocks, self-exclusion and GA and stuff then I guess they would just move on and post elsewhere right?

Graeme - you were good to me when I first came on here, you were solid, I won't forget that - my struggle is nowhere near over but I'm on the move now thanks to the support I received on here... What breaks my heart is that you helped pulled me up from the dirt and now I see you where I was... If I could pull you up somehow I'd do it in a flash... But as you know the help is secondary, it needs to come from within first and foremost.

Hang in there buddy. You've ditched the card right?

I've just realised problem gambling is a bit like the film Groundhog Day isn't it.

Have you seen it Graeme? I hope one day you can find the hope and inspiration to unlock that door in the same way bill Murray does... It took him a while too ;o) but he got there in the end (or he 'got it' rather)

Good Morning Boro,

I am sorry to learn of your continued troubles and ongoing participation in gambling.

I sympathise with your situation. I’ve experienced this many years ago. I think there is different phases. You are probably still in the phase where you think you can still win it all back and turn it around. Only when I got to the stage where gambling had me BEAT did I stop. This is a common theme with people who stop long term. When gambling has finally beat you up so bad that you KNOW for sure that you cannot continue and that you can’t do this any longer. For me, when this happens there is not so much urges to fight. I don’t have to fight daily urges. I know I can’t control myself and because of this I know long term I can only lose.

I truly hope you get to a point where you are beaten into submission. I only hope that there is not too much damage done until you reach that point.

Tomso

Don’t think I have ever watched ground hog day but I get your point signalman. Tomso I got to that point about 7 years ago lost about 15 grand in a short period of time lost the woman I loved dearly and being a full time dad to me daughter. If that hadn’t stopped me what is? The only hope I cling to is the reduction in stake, people might say you be able to go online but it’s never really bothered me plus I have gamstop on my phone plus I’m excluded from all main online accounts. Every time I lose a large sum I tell myself I can’t take much more of this. The feeling is terrible I don’t want to be like this for the rest of my life. Signalman yeah card gone I just needed it to get my car it’s gone now feel much better knowing. I could have had a good life if it wasn’t for gambling

At work all day so no gambling.

Boro wrote:

I could have had a good life if it wasn't for gambling

I'm sure you can still have a good life mate in spite of gambling addiction, you just need to get on top of it somehow... Don't give up hope and keep fighting this!

As long as I keep off the fobt I will have a good life. 3 1/2 weeks until stake reduction. That’s when my life will change for the better. No fobt today things lost (girlfriends,full time dad) need to keep reminding myself of this

No fobt today things lost (girlfriend being a full time dad) things to remind my brain what I have lost!

I have seen the new £2 stake on YouTube of roulette no way can you get addicted to that. Thank god. Just got to get to the end of March