Fresh Start

Ok Bluewez you've made a fresh start. please try and get a bit of support? You could give Gamcare a ring and arrange some counselling?

Tri

ok i will bear that in mind,im not great at talking to people so writing thoughts down on here was my first choice,i have taken away the temptation .

one day at a time

Hi Bluewez, and welcome to the forum . Youv'e done well to realise so early on in your betting life , that you have a gambling problem !.

You know what I'm gonna say ? Nip it in the bud before it gets a lot worse my friend ! .

Youv'e already began to notice the addiction taking hold , it no longer becomes fun or about the money , it's just about the buzz which you need more and more, but to get that buzz becomes more and more expensive to satisfy ?.

Youve done what you can with regard to blocking sites and self exclusion , please make sure that you close them all and leave no door open !.

The best advice I can give to help you, is that you must leave your losses behind you ,write them off , theyv'e gone , so dont go chasing them !.

That one thing will allow you to move on and grant you the gamble free life you crave.

Best wishes for your recovery ..............................Alan Compulsive gambler

Thanks Alan

your right its the losses that eat you up,just going to work hard to earn the money to pay back.i cant tell the wife again ive let her down and lost money,she bailed me out once and looking back it wasnt the best thing as i just carried on gambling this time i have to pay back what i lost so i have a incentive.

thanks for support

HI Bluewez, Do you not think your wife may know already , that your gambling again ?

Coming clean might help , if your sreious about giving up ? . You could show her the blocks youve put in place this time to enable you to stop, I know its difficult to do and to have to face the consequenses of the tongue lashing you might get, but as the saying goes " The truth shall set you free ".

It was one of the hardest things I'd done , telling all to my partner and my kids but once it was out in the open it gave me a sense of relief , no more covering up over money issues ect !.

The choice is yours my friend and only you can do whats right for you !.

Keep posting as its always good to talk !! Best wishes Alan

Alan,

yes i have told her twice before about the losses and that im struggling she is supportive but not happy with me throwing money away.

im worried about telling her this time around as i promised i wouldnt do it again,last time she came downstairs on 8am on a sunday morning to find me in the toilet drinking whiskey after losing 2 grand,sobbing my heart out with my kids just looking at me it was awful.

im going to give this some thought later.

Day 2 nearly over !

Hi Wez,

You've made a good start by coming here and posting. Making regular posts in your diary can be therapeutic. Any time you're feeling that urge to gamble, just come on here instead and put down your thoughts.

I've just been trying to keep myself busy over these past couple of days. The addiction is at its worst when I don't have much to do and I'm just sitting about. All of a sudden, my mind starts to wander and I start to think "It wouldn't hurt to put a tenner into your account...." before you know it, I've spent over a hundred quid chasing a tenner. It's ridiculous.

Any time that urge comes, do something else to keep your mind active. Go for a walk. Phone a friend or a family member. Go to the shops. Anything at all that doesn't involve gambling.

Keep strong. Day 2 is nearly over. That might not sound a lot to some folk, but every single person here will appreciate how much effort that takes. Take a day at a time. Day 3 tomorrow.

Good luck and I'll be looking out for your diary in the future to try and offer some support if I can.

Hi Blue,

Welcome to the forum,

Yes the losses do eat us up while we are active and that is one of the reasons why we keep chasing, (even though underneath we know we are not going to get them back, we know our luck has run out on this run but we keep chasing,

It is soo very hard to tell our partners we have done it yet again, but in my own experience I had to be totally honest with mine, and was ready for the fallout,

Nearly nineteen months on of being gamble free and still with my partner, I know telling him all was the best decision I have made,

Of course we are all individual, but honesty is the best policy, (she probably knows you are at it)

I wish you the very best on your recovery journey,

Take care

Suzanne x

Hi again Blue, thanks for the reply !. I can understand your aprehension at telling her now youv'e explained .

At the end of the day we are all individual and as I mentioned , you need to do what's best for you, especially in the early stage of recovery . Give yourself some time and things may become clearer .

When I gave up a couple of months ago , my head was all over the place and really struggled with the simplist of thoughts .

Don't beat yourself up over things , stuff becomes a lot clearer once we stop and you'll soon begin to focus on what you need to do .

Well done on getting through the fist couple of days my friend .

Talk to you again soon !!..........................Alan

Hi Guys,

thanks for messages,this morning was a real struggle i so wanted to put that money in to win back my losses,i must of logged in ten times then out again,instead i self excluded im glad i did but now im thinking im sure i would of won,isnt it crazy how one day your beating yourself up about your losses and vowing to never gamble again within a couple of days your already planning another way to get some money and do it all again. When i think of my thoughts while im playing its quite disturbing your on a losing streak and have say 500 left but i was saying to myself well im losing now so my aswell lose it all,such crazy logic enters your head.

spent all day thinking of playing and how my days will be without it,i read on other sites that gambling can damage your health too as when your playing your heart rate increases ,your stressed and all this leads to heart complications ,scary really.

i was bored of life when i started and quite down,i had several episodes of bad health which made me feel very angry and upset. at 40 i had alcohol flush syndrome its when you have the smallest amount of alcohol and your face goes bright red and your lips swell up which affects your speech,its not nice and its happened in front of work colleagues which was embarrasing,at 41 i had to go on tablets for high blood pressure,at 42 tablets for cholestrol,and 43 i was diagnosed with diabetes type 2 i was told i had this because of a bit of a tummy.

i was upset as none of my friends had any of this and were all still smoking and drinking regulary so i suppose i felt sorry for myself and kind of fell into gambling.

im currently playing freeplay on slots which isnt great but its passing time for me without actually gambling

Day 3

Just played freeplay last night,no gambling,lots to do at work so lots to occupy me today.

i can do this!

Morning Blue !. Mate !, Not trying to be harsh but what the f**k are you doing on the the sites ?

Freeplay or not , its not going to help you when your still in a gambling enviroment , It's like giving a vampire the key to a blood bank and saying " Don't touch" , its just not going to help ?.

Youve just wrote a page about all the negative effects gambling has caused you including some pretty serious health issues !

I'm also a type 2 diabetic and have lived with it for quite a few years , you know as well as I do it's a progressive illness and its about looking after yourself properly which means controlling it !. And continuing along the lines you are now is not gonna help !.

You need to get off these sites now !, No one said this is easy but to give yourself a chance of recovery you need to change yourlife , look for new ways of occupying yourself .

This will work but only if you want to change !

I'll be around the forum later if you want to post again my friend ...... Take care for now ..........Alan

Alan,

your right i know its stupid.i have occupied myself this weekend and went christmas shopping with the mrs.i havent gambled at all so im now on one week.

stress isnt good for diabetes so gambling is something im going to stop,i have everything in place its just when i feel the urge i use freeplay instead of actually playing.

im staying strong

cheers

Hi Fella, Glad to see your doing well and the blocks are in place .

At the end of the day , I'm not here to judge and you need to do what works for you, I'm just saying be carefull !.

There's a saying on here that " If you hang around a barbers long enough , your gonna get a haircut " . Enough said ? .

Mind you , I can think of less stressfull things than going shopping with my mrs ?.

Stay well my friend ........................................Alan