...

Geezzzz, girl. Don't doubt yourself! You give soooo much to this forum. Give yourself a break. Have a good cry if you need it. Get it out any way you can... cry, write, swear, punch pillows... whatever. And do stay close to this forum if it keeps you out of trouble... Here for you!

Oh gee... So, so sorry Sandra. Please hang on. You're an awesome lady.

Morning Sandra

How ur feeling right now is understandable I av been where u rright now many times and I guess others can say the same, the truth is the mood swings come and go and its so frustrating not knowing why, I was exactly like u flying along for my 1st six months full of energy positivity posting daily for hours at a time, then the expectation of ourselves is there and we think we av to carry on that way we feel we are letting others down if we don't the reality and truth is we don't others don't mind yes they appreciate the support but all that's important is ur own recovery

In time a level of acceptance is needed that days how u felt yesterday will come and go and be able to deal with them better, it got that bad for me I was already for quitting but I worked it out I needed the support my diary to offload all the sh#t in my life

U will find that balance in time I assure u my best advice would be is when u feel like u do now is revert back to one day at a time just concentrate on that one day get through it and see what tomorrow brings and generally its a better one av no other expectation than that

Its a long tough hard journey as u already know but be proud ur making it and these experiences u feel now u can share with others as they make their journey and that's why u r so valuable to this forum but never forget the reality is has to be bout u and u only

Castle2

Thank you Carla and castle.

Carla, it wasvery nice song, and obviously just let my emotions go wild..but it helped...crying is healing. Please never apologize to me...you did nothing wrong.

Castle, thank you very much for you kind words. Rings so much true... You are here, helping me to stand up and consider situation again...thank you.

Dear diary,

Time to stand up for myself and kick this addiction back in a teeth. No matter how much it tries to trip me down, i have come a long way and going online would be stupid. I don't think it would serve me escape feeling anymore anyway. Better find more useful things to do.

Even if i feel the only soldier in a field..i will fight it with all my mite.

Let the battle continue..i will not let it trip me again!!

Cmon...just believe....it IS possible

Day at a time

Sandra x

Sending hugs at a tough time for you and fighting alongside.

xxx

Thank you DF i don't need to tell you how much it means xx

Dear diary,

Thinking all day ( i do believe something wrong with weather today...many ppl feel down)...... i came across this article in Lithuanian.( if anyone reading..please be aware...not sure if i translated it 100% so pls excuse mistakes.) ..But makes sense to me..

A bit at the crossroads at the min..and if it not gambling relating..it is life relating...which is equal in my eyes...

With the search for the meaning of life is facing not only teenagers, but also some older people. All of humanity as divided into two parts: those for whom life meaningful, and those that make sense, and so does not see. Certain attitudes can change a variety of factors, but really so hard for people to understand who they really are and what is the meaning of life?

Everyone who is in a period of puberty inevitably encounter meaning and meaninglessness issue. It is obvious that this is becoming an acute problem for young people. Unfortunately, modern man choosing the easiest way - to exist. Owing to such an approach to life choosing youngsters on the rise and those who no matter what they are leaving behind for future generations. Psychotherapist and psychoanalyst Carl Gustav Jung said: " Nonsense against the effects of a whole life, so it can be considered a disease . psychoanalytical These words show how important it is to discover the meaning of life to achieve a goal.

Not all who are born, the world is merciful, but anyone can find it, which would be worth living. The question is: why some things are meaningful, while others - nothing does not make sense? It very much depends on our attitude towards life, and from what we expect from it. Based on personal experience, I could list at least five people for whom life seems meaningless, meaning they are not looking forward and claims that it is impossible. I think that the fact that we was born in, is a sign that we are in this world not in vain, that we have to take from life everything we can. My goal in life - to finish school, study, work, and promise to work to have a loving family. I know, too, that with the new year appears objectives of new desires.

No matter how important it is to understand the meaning of life and this is why all this is necessary. Even if someone would say that he is good to live without ambition, his life would be inadequate. It's like living in limbo. So, I agree with one another words of Carl Gustav Jung: " Meaning enables to endure many things, perhaps everything " . These quoted words I want to prove to you, dear readers, how important it is to know what living is for. The exact order we encounter endless hardship, but the desire to achieve the goal and the motivation for which we live.

In conclusion, I would like to say that finding the meaning of life and achieving goals is very important. And for those who still searching the point I say: "the door to the research or development will never be locked. After all, even the proverb says:" He/she who seeks...shall find".

Strength and belief to you all

Day 25 and i still take it day at a time xx

Always will xx

S x

cr** night...cr** day..but evening seems to even things out....Why??? I keep posting and supporting..Great medicine!!! Thanx for being here:-)

S x

Hey girl thanks for the post. Yeah is a cr** day it seems. My arms be aching after doing the lawn and just plain tired. Hell to tired to get beer even. LOL Yup you just know I'm exhausted when that happens. Look like solber night for me. Comgrats on your days.

Had a quick read of your post but need to reread later to absorb. Just wanted to say thanks so much for your offer. Bro in law has already gone to bank so it's not necessary. You are incredibly kind. I really hope you have a nice weekend. You so deserve it. Guess we all do. Hope this posts because I'm really having trouble on this end.

Morning Sandra,

Thanks for your message. I hope that you have a great weekend. Take care.

Dave X

Hi Sandra... I relate to the evenings as a way to even out the feelings. I am generally at my worse first thing in the morning as I ponder the day to come. Take care and keep safe... S.A 🙂

Thank you all 🙂

Dear diary,

Saturday- day off, and i will try to use my day wisely. Not much planned, but at least no gambling thoughts.

Take care all

Day at a time

Sandra x

Hi S

Please don't worry about the rubbish days. They are "normal" just make the good days count 🙂

Have a lovely Saturday!

Take care

Irene

x

Thanx Irene xx

Dear diary,

Finally fully awake lol ( trouble sleeping...my insomnia getting worse). Anyway, had a lighbulb moment.

First of all abstaining from gambling and doing else f*k all in my life...is not enough. I need to try harder and get my sorry a**e out. I am young ( so i say lol) i'm healthy and i have it all ahead of me. I can't just sit and wait for better days to come. Yes, gambling is out of the picture, and i don't have to turn to it on my darkest days...you poor souls the ones who suffering then i start posting dark thoughts...sorry:-)

Anyway, planning to go for a run, ring my friend, ring parents, visit my cousins wife which just bk from hospital after operation, take my nephew for a little shopping ( boys and their toys lol) and cook something nice tonight.

As you see, hands full today...may long it last. Every minute counts and i shall spend my day by enjoying myself and sharing my genuine smile with others.

Life is too short for regrets

" Tomorrow is way too far away, and we can't get back yesterday, but we got right now....so make the most of it"

Day at a time

Have a lovely day all of you..peace and god bless

Sandra x

Wow busy day and you make me feel lazy. LOL guess your hectic day makes me wanna get up and get at something's too, well maybe after one more cup of coffee. LOL house cleaning and maybe give the lawn one more mowing for the year. Hope ya have a great day.