Thanx soul...being busy keeps my mind off things;)
Dear diary,
Nasty world innit? And a lot of nasty people seems to be around me...I was similar..when gambling..i had no feelings, i hurt others...i had a heart of stone..no forgiveness..
But i have started a journey..I feel now..good or bad, painful or not...
I learn to survive without looking for the ways out..i am honest..
For some it's not enough...they are ready to walk all over you again..put you down....
I believe we have vampires in some people...feeding your blood and kindness..
Hey live and learn...i am better and stronger person now...I will fight for myself and i will stand up for bad and face it all..
Enough is enough....some ppl just made me to cover my ears today...maybe it's the best way forward..instead of kicking out...
I WILL NOT GAMBLE TODAY....Let the battle continue...
Day at a time
S x
Early night...i love my Saturdays lol
Can't moan, sleep is better than gambling:-) Keep breathing of course
Ciau for now
S x
Just ride it out Sandra . The good and bad days and all of us having triggers that can send us back to the bad old days in thinking ...
I often get triggered sometimes on here,sometimes in 3d but it's only a very specific thing which I still have to work on which is what I came away from.
The bulk of my life now is not triggered in a way that sends me right back to rage and revenge but that was daily for a long time.
I guess I just have become more desensitised which is a good thing and to try and not take things too personally which is hard and then I'm off again into the cycle.
This the main thing we are taught in my groups but the hardest thing to do. The gaps between me doing this cycle are now getting longer and longer so it's a case of progress not perfection.
I guess some folks come off the forum when they feel that way but I force myself to stay on as I know for me that I have to get my head round it...
R and D xx
Thanx Rachel...you are right..just ride it out and concentrate on my recovery. The thing is i'm too sensitive to everything and take everything in...but i am learning not to let others affect me..i will get there 🙂 xx
Dear diary,
Riding poison out and feeling a bit better. Twist and turn all night..bloody nightmares if i happen to swich off...ahrr..cr** hounting me in real life and even my sleep...oh well..just breath and keep moving forward.
It was lovely day yesterday( before i bumped in to some nasties)...did everything i planned to do..and am so proud of my little nephew..he made me laugh so much..you should hear when he was talking Scotish..and even French..oh he is a keeper, love him to bits.
Today i will have a relaxing day. ( maybe just go for a run before 80m/ph wind kicks in)
No gambling and i will carry on this way.
Keep safe all
Love
Sandra x
Well hey girl your always gonna run into those that pi-ss ya off and a part of life ya just can't turn off. Wish they'd come up with a light switch for that. LOL wishing ya a good Sunday.
Thanx soul 🙂
Talking about running...jeez what a marathon i just had lol...my an hour route ended up being an hour an a half lol..30 min spend running in one place because of the wind ( it's like running on inclined treadmill) haha..was well hilarious...couldn't stop but laugh out of myself. I need some meat on me lol..couse nearly was blown backwards....Jeez...zero energy left and think little kip lined up for me soon.
Oh it's good to laugh...no wonder i didn't see anyone around in this weather.....dedication to exercise hey
Stay safe all and nicely tucked up inside tonight;-)
S x
Hey... just catching up. Unlike you and SA, evenings are not my great time and mornings are usually better! Snowy and miserable here now so postponing drive to sis but it's ok. Talked on the phone lots and getting so much support from others both here and in 3d. Sorry you had a bad day. When you talked about having to cover your ears in that post, I immediately thought of the sticking fingers in ear and talking... and that was before I watched the video. Loved it. I actually still do this with a few people (in fun) when they're telling me things I don't want to hear. Have done it many times in the past with my sis when she's nagged me about smoking. She's so happy I'm finally addressing my vices! Have a great evening.
Hiya Sandra and loving that video ...a taste of whats to come later tonight I think ..batton down the hatches!
Virgin Mary ..heh heh ..I get what you meant and I have to thank you Sandra as you have made me smile so much recently and really laugh ...just the tonic I needed.
Humour really does help me when I'm down ..
Yes...Dotty is a little jack Russell and I have to admit a real cutie ..Tri colour ...black, tan and white..I would have gone for a fluffy handbag dog but the exes folks had 2 Russell's and I fell in love with the breed.
She's the best thing that came out of all the unhappiness.
I've always kept cats so I never thought I'd be a dog person but I love her to bits...
Can't imagine why you may have thought I had a pit bull...heh heh laughing again ;-)))))) ....on my off days my pal says my face is like a pitbull chewing a wasp...lol lol
R and D xxx
Lol lol lol..Rach...i am right set off here:-) i only write what i think:)
few vids which made my day
Good to laugh...and sleep with smile on ur face
4 weeks g free tomorrow..no gamble today:-)
Happy ;-D
Stay safe all xx
Hey Sandra just checking in and saying thank you for your post, keep yourself safe in this weather! I always thought excersize was dangerous! 😉
Ha ha ha ha..Bear Gryhlls...is that like some kind of oven?...ha ha ha
ROFL....(still) :-)))
Glad you stopped at sausages dog there Sandra..lol...figured we may get a GC edit or ban if the banter had carried on....ha ha ha ...
Right ...off to join the masses on the M6 ..be afraid be very afraid xxx
Thanx Rachel..yea i was thinking about GC edit coming too..M6 hey...no worries, got tank hired for my next journey to Manchester :-)))) xx
Ok jokes aside...dear diary,
Didn't sleep a lot last night. I must of worried about the storm..nightshift coming tonight and i'm already tired of thinking of it lol
Well ... day 28...( four weeks ) and i'm getting my old self back..no gambling for me..and i wish i could pass some of my strenght to other poor souls who are struggling woth urges...just kick this addiction back in a teeth dear soldiers...
Please keep fighting back all
We can do it
For the better future
Day at a time
S x
Hi S
Just popped in for a quick "hello". You are doing great!
Take care
Irene
x
Thanx Irene x
Good morning/day /evening diary lol
Absolutely knackered and even more starving lol..didn't have chance to have breaks at work...only running and running around..like a chicken without head:-D:-D
d**n...i'm loosing my marbles again.
No gambling thoughts...but surely cooking in progress:-)
Another day g free...let it continue this way;-)
Day at a time
S x
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