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Good morning diary,

Another day passed through with no gambling to report. A lot of emotion recently, but i'm working on it. Jeez, in a way i wish i could just carry on and hide behind the screen.

Easy way out, easy problems solving.( not solving actually)..forgetting who you are and ignoring the trail of problems following you...Hmmm..sounds happy, safe and calm place to be.

Well...not in my World. Not anymore.!!!

I may lost few fights along the way, but the battle of my life is still up. And i wouldn't be a soldier not to look dark and scary demons in the eye.

I will survive because i believe i can. I am not a victim, i am survivor. My armour and knowledge of this habit is getting bigger and stronger. I will do it for myself and all good folk around me.

Day at a time...

.... lol...look at tired Sandra battling through 🙂

Sleepy time..over and out..

No gamble today i will keep it this way!

S x

Hi Sandra.... and when we ignore the trail of problems following us we often create new and additional problems in the process.

Like you say, no gambling today. I will keep it this way too!! take care... S.A 🙂

Morning Sandra

Great to read all that fight and positivity in u , a phrase that gets used often is we might not win the fight sometimes but in the end we will win the war and that echoes perfectly with what ur saying

That knowledge and understanding keeps growing day by day and that is always goin to be the biggest help goin forward

Castle2

Thanx SA, Castle 🙂

Dear diary,

Day 33 (if i'm right) and woke up feeling positive about today. Took heavy blow at work this morning, really had to stand up for myself and right things in general. And i did it, faced it... was d**n scared of the reaction and outcome, but the meeting we had turned out ok. See the real outcome later on today lol.

Oh, i surprise myself sometimes, i can go far to prove my point and not feel guilty about it. Getting my confidence back..something i was gifted in this journey.

No gamble for today. Off for the run and back to work. Happy days lol

Have a nice and relaxing Saturday all

Day at a time

Sandra x

Thanks for thinking of me.... had a good visit but disappointed myself big time upon return. Glad to see you still fighting.

Hi Sandra

always amazes me what we can do when we set our minds to it and how good does it make us feel so hoping the outcome at work is the best ever for you.

Stay strong and enjoy the weekend when you get chance to relax.

xxx

Thank you Carla, DF xx

Dear diary,

A bit of nightmare at work last night......But what can i expect spending there 40 hrs in 3 days, and sleeping for 12hrs in the same time. Sending me crazy and i start losing my temper with some ppl there. Need to keep my focus and concentrate more as well as keep the required professionalism for my role.

As well as keepy focus on this addiction side. I think i pass my card to my mate over Christmas to keep on the safe side. Feel like this time of the year affecting me harder than summer time. Have to keep strong and keep fighting.

No gambling for today.

Day at a time

Take care all

S x

Hi Sandra

I can appreciate how awful it is when you are not getting a good night's sleep. Have you spoken to your G.P about this? We all know how much better life feels and how much better we function when we have had a good night's sleep.

You are doing so well. Hope you can manage to sort your sleep pattern out better.

Take care and remain strong.

Feb.

Thanks for your most recent post. I needed it. I hear ya on the sleep probs. I hate, hate, hate sleep deprivation. Harder for you as I am off work. Take care and hope you get some rest soon.

Thanx ladies...repost later xx

Dear diary,

I am not really sure how my body still functioning. Stars in my eyes after a run and really start toying with the idea to throw sickie in for work tonight...would be 3rd one in my 10 years working life...and first one in current place...

d**n i hate myself sometimes when crawl on my fours but still go in to help out...

Thinking...thinking..

But will i get bored at home and let the devil come closer,? Can't let it happen..

Suppose got the answer... WORK .... lol ( through tears )

...and deal with disciplinary action i've got on my hands from last night. ( not for me )....d**n so wish i was stacking shelves or standing at the counter with less stress sometimes...heaven in my eyes at the minute...just something soothing about it..

Rambling...again....but not gambling..thank god!! ( few urges but dealing with f uckers!!

Speak tomorrow dear fighters...i will get some rest eventually lol...maybe next week.( if i make it :-)... )

S x

P.s. late for work lol..OOPS!! .lost track of time...( love posting and supporting others :-)oh well..better get in gear.

Ha ha Julie..of course, use it for ur liking:-) it is not mine and we do share it round the forum. Thanx for ur message and wish you all the best in your journey.

Dear diary,

Not too bad night if i say so. Probably couse my brains skips half of things going on round here couse i'm knackered lol

Had long chat about roulette ...again...listening actually. One of the guys is really hooked on it, and by the sound of it everyone is winning around...God..feel so sorry for all of the souls if they get addicted and be dragged down with greed..really hate to talk about gambling..but you have to look facts in the eye.

I hate gambling

I hate this addiction

I hate to see ppl suffer couse of it.......

....but...

I love gamble free life

I love to get my confidence back

I love to have "emergency" money( in case something comes up)

I love i can share my thoughts with you all

I love to see black and white

I love to have a choice to make each day....

...for the better future and better person inside me.

Day at a time

Take care all

No gamble for today and it will stay this way!!

S x

Morning Sandra

That post shows exactly the benefits this forum brings, we get all the advice support that's needed to go into our recoveries but also the dangers that lie ahead, accepting how it is so important

Nothing surprises me anymore with gambling its ruthless and can never know when it can try and get back into our lives, all we can do is stay prepared but don't fear it enjoy life to the full

Castle2

Thanx Castle xx

Dear diary,

Feeling very good ( need to hold on on this feeling lol ) no urges, no low mood, no tiredness..finally had my 6 hrs sleep lol.

Very energetic, sun is shining so go for a run, visit sister later, do some xmas shopping and chilax since it's my day off 🙂

Have a good day all

No gambling for today

S x

You sound in great spirits Sandra, thats awesome to read. Now, a run, see the sis and xmas shopping doesnt sound like you'll be chilllin all that much lol. Hope you've had a great day.