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Hi Sandra.

Just wanted to say, you are doing so well. You should be proud of yourself. Keep up your great effort and remain strong in your abstinance.

Take care.

Feb.

I echo those thoughts Sandra, and you can now reward yourself with a great fun week off, have a super time, keep up the great work and speak soon.

Phil

Thank you Phil,

Still day 38 and i find myself struggling really bad today...Hard to explain what i'm going through...Maybe just lack of sleep recently and bad mood, as well as pay day don't help.....Actually start even looking through these evil e-mails i still receive, and have to say the protection i have got is not that strong, because i do manage to get through some sites...But i'm holding on, and deleting them....There is something holding me back, which i am very thankful for..Please God give me strength, i went too far to turn back......Cmon i can do it...my holiday started, so why not to start enjoying it?

I will get through this: for myself and all of you guys, because we unite here, and reaching for the same purpose - stay strong and be free!

Just day at the time

Still sensible Sandra xxx

Day 39.

Amazing what good nights sleep can do. Feel a lot better, leaving yesterday behind and going to plan my day today. Do some gardening first,then get the bike out of shed and go for a ride, later go round my sis. A lot more positive today, so no time wasting, going to *** on with my tasks:-)

Take care all and stay strong

Sandra x

Well done Sandra, i read your diary most days, you are doing really well, and i agree having a good nights sleep is the best feeling, i had lots of bad nights sleep (well not much sleep at all) when gambling so getting that peace to sleep well is great.

Stay Strong 🙂

lisa

Well what a lovely day it's been! saying that, it didn't go exactly right: first i broke a lawn mower(went over stump) so gonna have to live in a jungle till next month, till i can afford new one:) and then i have punctured my bike tire, so it was a loooooong way back walking:) I gonna have to stick to jogging now, but it's OK because i signed up for 25mile marathon for next year, so it's time to get back into shape:)

Anyway, at least it went well round my sisters, we even managed to get out for a quick pool game( which never happened before) i even feel our bond is stronger, and maybe one day i tell her what's troubling me.

Overall, feel great today(except aching legs), happy, i'm still gamble free and money still in a bank, so yea all i can do, is to keep smile on my face and carry on as i did today.

Stay strong my lovely people and best of luck with everything;)

Sandra(happy, smiling and sensible) x

Hi Sandra

Bad starts to the day used to get worst when gambling was involved it made us somehow justify that it needed to get better with a win , so its so nice to read that it had no affect on u

Just shows how well ur doing , really pleased for u

Castle2

Hey Sandra, many thanks for your thoughts and kind words on my diary, and also talking on the chat last night, sorry to have sounded off, but i do feel better. Shame about the puncture, but good on you for the marathon, that will take up plenty of your time.

have a great weekend

Phil

Thanx castle and Phil,

Not much sleep last night, but feeling a bit better today, up early, went for a jog. I forgot how hard and painful (on my legs) that can be, but i suppose nothing is easy in life. I'm just glad i'm doing something instead of sitting and spinning reels. After all it's improving my healh and emotions. And my old good six pack coming back in wiev which i'm very pleased about:-)

Another day gamble free, looking forward never back. Day 41 let's keep them coming!

Have a nice weekend all and stay strong

Sandra x

Hello my diary,

Day 42, can you believe it! I can't, but very pleased it's reality:-) Went through all my diary, hmmm- a lot of spelling mistakes lol. Never have chance(in other words was too busy with my mind) to thank ALL of you lovely people for kindly welcoming me in your friendly comunity, and thank you for your support and advice i receive.

I know i'm from overseas, and UK is my second home, and i honestly can say i don't feel as lonely anymore as i did at the start. You are great bunch of people and it is most appreciated to have an opportunity to share my feelings, thoughts and advice with you.

I'm coming to terms to understand that this experience is very helpfull for me in a way. Yes, i did a lot of mistakes, but don't we all. Gambling was the biggest one, but because of it i realised that i was living in denial, for all those years, and it opened my eyes( followed with kick to the backside) that it's time to change. I have changed as person, i've got self esteem back, i start valueing money, i see world in diferent view now, i've got feelings and emotions back, i'm more confident and determind to reach the set goals. I'm not the robot glued to computer screen and programmed to press the button anymore, I'm out of that state, and it' best feeling ever.

I don't say i will never have a spin anymore, i just say I WOULD LIKE NOT TO HAVE SPIN ANYMORE, i know this problem is going to stay with me, it's addiction after all, but that's what i'm learning in this journey : control and determination.( as well as developing more important brain cells) 🙂

I am very happy to find this site and people on here. And no words can express how thankful i am to each one of you:-)

Chin up guys, we will beat it

Stay strong and step at the time

Sandra xxx

Morning Sandra

What a great way to start the day by reading a post full of positivity understanding and belief , to me it just shows what can be achieved by not gambling , the brain can now see what benefits there are in life , when gambling we see nothing other than a one track vision , its so important to break that and thats exactly what u did , couldn't be prouder of u

U av seen the benefit of this site and r making the full use of it I believe all the answers r here , getting support is so vital everyone understands how u feel and all want to help u support others which will build ur confidence and self esteem something gambling takes from us , reading other diaries and finding valuable advice and info to put into our own recoveries

There will be days when the motivation and inspiration isn't there thats normal it happens to us all in periods just keep posting and reading through it , the times of my relapses always occurred when I was least active on this site

U av made such a fantastic start something to really build on u av seen the benefits already , it makes u wonder why we gambled in the 1st place

Take care

Castle2

yeah I agree with Castle what a brilliantly positive post Sandra. Day 42- hey you are catching me up!!!- well done my friend. The gambling mist has cleared and you can see so many positive aspects to life. Fantastic- there is so much more to life than gambling. Have a great day today- enjoy the sunshine and another gamble free day.

Stuxx

Hi Sandra

What a great post!!!

Your progress is heartening to read. 6 whole weeks!!!!

Keep up the fantastic effort. Selfishly, I am also glad you joined this forum- you offer so much support to others- thanks!

Take care

Irene

x

Thanx castle, Stu and Irene, lovely comments like that is a big push to carry on, most appreciated:-)

Well, been nice day, woke up with spring in my feet, went out for a jog, bearing in mind it was a bit too hot for an hour work out and felt a bit light headed afterwards, it was good to load off:-) legs are killing, but hey ho, as they say : no pain - no gain!

No urges what so ever today, which i'm very PLEASED with, i think my hobby ( running) helps me a lot to deal with emotions.

Did something amazing last night, which made me very happy - donated. One of the great organizations, which i would like to mention in my diary is Samaritans. Those guys dragged me out of the darkest place i found myself in at the start of recovery. BIG THANK YOU. No matter i'm low on money, no money can buy you your life.

So yes, to cut today short, it was fun, relaxing and enjoyable. Back to see counsellor tommorow, so a bit of serious stuff we gonna be working on, better try and catch some better sleep.

Keep going my friends, take care and remember - step at the time!

Bless you all

Sandra x