Get busy living... Or get busy dying..

Blondie,

Just wanted to let you know that you are doing remarkably well with your recovery. Your dedication to your diary and that of others is outstanding. In time, you will begin to notice many, many benefits from not gambling.

Keep up the good progress.

Tomso.

Day 37

Thank you everyone for all your posts as always its a great source of advice, inspiration and support to me.

Busy day in work today but nothing i cant handle, had a quick conf call with my team this morning to thank them all for covering etc whilst i was off and explain why i was off, i think they all appreciated it, and i even got text messages of a few afterwards saying it was a very brave thing that i did speaking about my dad and councelling etc.

I have been thinking about the next stage in my recovery so tonight i did 20 mins on my running machine, i was going to go jogging outside but the heavens opened so it was a second best looking at the wall whilst running.

Im trying to get my motivation levels back to where they should be, so im going to set myself a target of 3 miles a week for the first week, which is pretty easy, i used to run alot before gambling took over my life.

No thoughts at all of gambling today which im really happy about and i have my second G.A meeting tomorrow night which i have been looking forward to all day.

My head is really calm which im not sure if im worried or pleased about but im not overthinking it im just enjoying it. I feel 100% better than i did 37 days ago which is still a relativley short time, but hey im not going to question it.

That light of hope is definatly burning brighter each day and i dont intend to stub that out by gambling. So just for today, i will not gamble.

Blondie day 37

Running goal. 1 mile completed , 2 to go 🙂

Hi Blondie

37 minutes, hours, days or years in recovery matters not. It is all about the quality of recovery. Today you have had as good experience of anyone that is in recovery albeit for any length of time. Just keep putting every effort into your other pursuits and it will pay off. Counselling is very good too once you get to feel comfortable opening up.

Take care

Hi Blondie,

A chain is as strong as its weakest link. And 37 is an equally important link in that chain that will bring you wonderful rewards. So congrats from me to you!

I just have to add another big wow as well when I hear your running 3 miles. That's really good. And for starters too. Im impressed. I had heard that breaking a good sweat releases endorphins. Then I tried it . It really does. I have a propensity to get a little depressed now and then. So every little bit helps.

You're doing realty great by the way. And I'm very happy for you.

Chris

Hey,

A brilliant brilliant post 🙂 just full of energy, positive thoughts, and it screamed out satisfaction! You are attaching this recovery and it's amazing to see!

We all have our own way and own pace in recovery but you are like the proverbial bull at a gate and i do mean that in an absolute positive sense! You always have something good to say and I really get the sense reading this is a new life for you! Keeping in touch enough with the past well the bits you want to keep

hold of but on the whole just totally moving forward!

Really great to read you are looki forward to GA too i go Thursday nights too and it's really become a highlight for me in many ways, I hope it continues to be a source of strength for you! Finally, in this message of pure admiration, the running, I must say well done!! It's one thing I can't quite get back at the moment that motivation to get out there and run! Like you I ran quite a lot before even got quite advanced stage in marathon training but I wrongly thought stopping gambling would reignite my motivation! If it's ok with you in going to use you as a bit of motivation to get my legs moving once more!

Right that's enough from me, just keep fighting this good fight and keep being this Blondie cos she is very special!

Flagg

Morning Blondie,

Get positive post there 😉

Really good to see that there is calm acoming and just sit back relax and enjoy those feelings

Brave thing to do at work at it's great that staff are being supportive for you , that is just great!

Hope the meeting goes well tonight and also hope the running takes off again, what better way to clear the mind !

Take Care Blondie , you are doing sooooo well and i know it continue onwards and upwards

Thanks for your suppport to me as always, much appreciated

Lucy xxxxx

Day 38

Day 38 wow i cant help get excited about 40 but i must not look into the future, im concentrating on "just for today" because it has got me thus far.

The weather is back to normal here, dull and wet outside but pretty shiny and happy inside, no urges whatsover to gamble, long may it continue 🙂

I got up this morning 30 mins earlier and went on my running machine it was a pretty good start to the day, Work is busy but i function so much better with lots to do and little time to do it in, and i think in a way i was trying to replicate that feeling by gambling when the levels of adrenaline dropped.

I realise now i dont need to pump my body full of adrenaline all day every day and its good to just enjoy the calm and quiet moments and give myself some ME time, it gives me time to reflect on my day and on me.

I think flagg made a good point on my diary yesterday which gave me something to think about and it was about the past, i dont know if its the councelling or the change in mindset but i dont seem to be dwelling on the past to much i feel much better about myself, more confident in my abilities to be a good person and maybe the one day at time is helping me focus on the here and now.

Im looking forward to my G.A meeting tonight and all in all, Today is a great day.

Thank you all for the posts i will be wizzing by soon to re-post

Blondie day 38.. Enjoying the calm

Running achieved so far 2 miles.

1 mile from target by the end of this week.

Hi Blondie, thank u 4 ur support on my diary 🙂

Well done on the 38 days gamble free, u r doing gr8 🙂

Ur positive attitude shines thru in ur posts 🙂

Hope the meeting goes well 2nite.

I hope u fill up those shoe boxes soon lol

Stay strong and keep going xx

Ah now you see I can cook but couldn't run if my life depended on it! If a pack of hungry wolves were after me I like my chances plying them with homemade cake rather than trying to leg it! Endorphins are all good though, you've reminded me must get back into the step aerobics! Thank you for that. 🙂

I'm sure you've earnt a lot of respect at work by telling them some of whats been going on, glad they've been supportive.

I think its ok to look forward to day 40 (or in my case 2 months) as long as you remind yourself there still work to be done to get there. Surely goals are a good thing if they keep up the motivation.

Big (happy!) hugs. x

Blondie I've just caught up on your last few days posts (been away fishing) and I must say the positive energy and change of attitude is amazing. You're so right what you wrote about adrenalin, I too enjoy the calmness now. 38 days is brilliant, GA meetings brilliant (remember how nervous you were!). You'll sail past the big 40, no problem because right now you're in a good place, gambling gets you when you're weak or stupid and at the moment you sound wise and string. Really nice postings on other peoples posts too which is nice, especially Cameron's (isn't he doing well! He's built a brick wall between himself and gambling and if anything, everyday he makes sure he builds it a little higher). Anyway, take care, enjoy your meeting, and keep exercising, go girl go, Steve.

Hi ya,

Hope your meeting goes well tonight, I have no doubt that your kindness and empathy show through as much as it does here and the rest of the group are pretty chuffed when your name appeared.

Just like we all are here.

Well done on your miles to day, just please make sure you get a break sometimes. Nice bath, glass of wine , and my personal favourite choc bar. All this running is bond to eat up those calories , in fact make it 2 .

Take care honey

Dusty xxxxxxx

Good evening Blondie, and thanks for dropping into mine. First off, 38 days !!! o*g how good does that sound ?? You have come on an incredible journey, I don't think Hannibal and his herd could've came through the journey that you have, but come thru it you have my friend, and with flying colours, and honours too, so stand up and take a bow !! woopwoop !!

Isn't it strange how gambling had the same effect on so many with regards the social contact, or in my case, the shopping. Just another aspect of our lives that the demon had control over, but he aint laughing now is he ? oh no, that pleasure is all ours !!

I will try to get online tonight at 9pm, it would be good to get an insight into the online meetings. I hope your face to face meeting goes well. I have no doubts that it will.

Take care my friend, wishing you a great night

All the Best

Cameron

Thanks for your support on my diary, always appreciated. And good luck in your continued recovery. Keep up the good work.

Day 39

Dare i project and say the big 40 tomorrow, life begins and all that !!!! , in a way life is beginning and continues to improve in all areas.

I attended my second G.A meeting last night and then the on line meeting afterwards, it is becoming a place of inspiration for me also much like here, the stories remain the same, lives ruined by this terrible illness that we all suffer from, and although i want to enjoy my recovery i think its key for me to continue to remind myself just what gambling could do to me if i make the wrong choice and go back.

So, today I continue to ask myself the right questions. One important one is ... What do I know for sure?

I know for sure that I am giving up nothing by choosing not to gamble today. I know for sure that each day gamble free is a personal victory. I know for sure that I am worthy of recovery.

I would rather stand up and die in my true emotions, than again lie on my knees infront of gambling. No matter what nothing is as bad as going back to gambling.

So just for today I will not gamble and i will continue on my journey of recovery.

Blondie day 39 x

Hi Blondie

Congrats on your journey so far, keep up the good work and on behalf of all those whose diaries you visited and encouraged a big thank you, it means a lot to know that someone else is rooting for us, and we are all rooting for you, so get through 39 and tomorrow will be another day,

Take care

John