Givingup4good recovery diary

Very late here so only a brief post; your words ring true and echo so many of the stories on here; you have found the right place to start recovery, and, trust me, people on here DO understand. Well done for starting a diary.

Thanks Jenilee. Today is day 4. One day at a time. This is the longest I've went without gambling now for 7 years. Payday is next Tuesday. That's when the real test starts. Normally i get paid, pay my bills (I've learnt the hard way what happens when you don't) then start gambling straight away. Very rarely would I win and keep the winnings. Everyone I'm close too thinks I've wised up bcos they think I'm out of debt now. I'm not but if I can stop I will be out of debt in a couple of months. If I don't stop I'll only get deeper into debt. The temptation is gamble out of debt. I done this once when I put a tenner on 600/1 accumulator. I didn't see a penny of the winnings bcos it all went to paying off credit cards which were causing me sleepless nights. Money which really I should have been using to treat my family who have tried so hard to help me. I've just got better at hiding it. NO MORE. The best thing I can do for them is to stop this nonsense once and for all. I've even thought about theft... And that really isn't me. I'm in a professional job, well educated, have everything else going for me. But I just haven't been able to stop. It's the buzz I love when your bets looking good and coming in. But it isn't worth it. The fun stopped long ago. It got to the point where I was putting every penny I had on ridiculous odds bcos one had to hit sooner or later and I was f****d anyway. It's easy to get into debt. But takes years to get out.

I'm ranting to myself in this diary sorry.

hoping the more I say it and remind myself the shambles I've gotten into that I won't lie to myself deposit another few quid and try to pretend I can stop at that.

i can't. The only way I can control it is by never betting again.

We can't win because we can't stop! Welcome to recovery Givingup4good & a massive congratulations you have come here so early 🙂 Wish I'd realised in my twenties!

Are you aware that there is blocking software to help you break your Time-Money-Location triangle since you mention you gamble online? You only need to remove 1 & you can't gamble! I understand K9 is free but I have no idea how it works so a phone call to Gamcare may be of use!

4 days is really great work 🙂

You will be amazed how quickly you start to feel better! I really struggled @ the start but then I got stronger & although the urges did & still do try it on, I got strong enough to fight them! You can do this too One Day At A Time!

Don't worry about rambling here...A lot of us have pages of the stuff. Ramble not gamble & you'll be safe!

Stay strong - ODAAT

so much temptation out there

that doesn't go away for some

i still think about gambling often but i'm gamble free for a year now

keep going roll on day 5

Hi GivingUp4Good,

I'd like to agree with what Jenilee posted, your story is very similar to other people's on this forum, and trust me, there is a way out of this. I hope that as you got paid yesterday, you have been able to pay off a few debts, and that the urges have been kept to a minimum.

Your making some fantastic progress, and I'm sure that already you are starting to see non-gambling aspects of life in a completely different light. Never allow yourself to forget or down-play just quite how bad the dark times are of your gambling, it's eays to think 'they weren't that bad', keep up the hard work and I hope to hear how the first week of this recovery diary has gone for you.

Ryan.

Hi

I've just started last bet on Saturday so mine is day 4 weekend will be the test as a lot of time on my hands

well done everyone for trying to get rid of this sinister addiction that no one seems to talk about

JimJim

Thanks everyone for the contributions it's good to know I've ppl who understand supporting me.

Today is day 5. Payday isn't until Tuesday sorry... Someone thought it was yesterday. I meant next Tuesday. I've some money. Normally I would bet to try and get a few extra quid to keep me going but what I've got I'm make do.

I don't want to keep going in like this so i won't.

Day 5. Half way to double figures.

Feel stressed out. Seems I get the urge to gamble when I'm stressed. Just gotta make it home and lock the door. I'm self excluded everywhere online now and I won't open another account.

Keep fighting it...Run home if you have to!

You can do this!

Haha ran home indeed. Going to walk the dog and watch the football tonight gamble free for the first time in ages

Ah hah a dog...Looks like another mutt improving their fitness as will you if you keep pegging it home 😉 I'm getting over the need to take ours out now that I'm not fighting urges so hard or so often but there was a time when mine was my greatest supporter!

Hope you enjoyed the footie & just wanted to remind you that Bornagain asked that you do another check in before Saturday to be added to the challenge so don't forget!

Day 6. Still don't feel very accomplished. The milestones which are most important to me are between days 11 (payday) to day 15 (the Saturday after payday) it'll be between these two days that I would normally lose the most gambling.

ODAAT it was great watching the football last night. I picked out a correct score in my head it didn't happen and I got a kick out of thinking normally I'd be pee'd off tonight and trying to hide it from whoever I'm with.

I'm a bit embarrassed there were times I was in a bad mood bcos of gambling and I've took it out on others without them even knowing why I'm in a bad mood.

Day 6. Winning one day at a time.

Great stuff on starting up the diary GU4G.

I think we can all relate about the moods. Being up and down and taking it out on those closest to us and then getting grumpy when they say you are being moody! It's really a horrible cycle and you will see that lift and change as your gamble free day tally goes up.

First payday will be a big one but you can do it, it will allow you prove how strong you can be and you can use us on here to vent too!

keep looking forward

You can't change the past but you sure as hell can make sure you don't make the same mistakes in the future! I'm embarrassed about a lot more than my constant bad moods, I can assure you, but I am using it to my advantage, making sure I don't go back to what I was!

Don't worry about day 11...You can cross that bridge when you come to it! Today is what matters & let me be the 1st to congratulate you on week 1 🙂

Keep winning - ODAAT