LOL, my counter says I haven't gambled for 2 days. It feels like much longer. Urges to go to online slots but I've very wisely self excluded from everywhere and I'm not going looking for new ones (probably exhausted them all anyhow).
Got so much to look forward to if I conquer this. Trying not to think of the money gone as it churns my tummy.
If I do this right then by early October the overdraft is gone, that's the first step. Be nice. Onwards and upwards.
5 days almost but no....back to 0. Only put £30 and stopped, probably wouldn't have stopped if I had more.
Got £1500 hitting my account next week. I want this month to be different, I want to have money in account and not be living thinking where my next funds are coming from.
I would love to get back to being able to limit myself and play. I'm not sure if i can ever do that. I want normality, not constantly thinking of slots.
In all honesty when you do something almost every day for about 3 years it's not as easy as just stopping.
I'm not really sure what i want, I don't want an addiction, I don't want to be wasting money and in debt.
Hi first step,
Your username is what you need to know and do вє..make the first step to freedom.
I get what you mean by saying it's hard to break the habit. No, it's not easy. I don't think the amount of time spent gambling is important. Addiction is addiction, it hooks us the same way. I only gambled for a year (daily) but got hooked up in exactly the same manner as the ones who gambled 30 odd years.
Breaking the cycle is what you need to concentrate on. Trying different avenues to aid your recovery. Counselling, SE, support groups, GA etc..
Passing days kind of makes it easier but you must remember that urge can strike at any time. They are powerful but they're only thoughts. Thoughts don't hurt you right - actions does. There is a space between thought and action. It's the time you need to be in control and make the right choice..time to reflect on it.
It's not easy to change our thought process, but it's possible and every day you abstain will keep bringing more peace your way.
You can do it, we all can. Accept the help and support out there, you're not alone.
Wish you well, chin up!
S x
Thank you S, that was quite helpful about that moment in time between thought and actions. I shall try and think of that.
Been reading around the forum, some of your own threads and others, actually found it quite helpful. Even read my own diary, that was interesting as I seen both how far I've came and how little too. I know quite a contradiction but it makes sense to me so I will try and focus on the good.
Monday I have money, Monday will be hard, need to try and deal with things better this month. Ihave the ability within to change, I will see how I go.
What about broadband protection...
Can you set up parental controls .. on mine I can block all gambling sites...just a thought love..
You need to protect that money hitting your account next week...reporting your card lost to the bank may be an idea...i remember so well how hard the early days were....but honestly love u just can't tell you how different life is 230 odd days later....get some serious blocks in place...ones that you can't dodge around....if most of us had a cream cake in the fridge...we most probably eventually eat it !
So best to make reaching for those online slots impossible....it can be done love...trust me...I spent all day ...most days...for well over five years...a prisoner to them....good luck...and remember to protect that cash due in soon....or you know what will happen to it...xxx
Thank you for the comments...
Just wanted to check in to say....have some money in account and I'm okay for now.
Making no promises or guarantees just trying to tell myself as long as I owe money then it's not really mine to waste, I will just spend on the things that I need or the things that bring a smile to my kids for now.
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