Ground zero

Hi Pelle,

A very vivid description of your gambling days, I recognise every terrible minute of it from personal experience.

Congratulations on 70 days.

Hi Pelle,

just caught up on your diary today. Very well done on reaching 70 days/10 weeks. I found your diary very honest and uplifting. Horse racing was my biggest downfall too and our experiences are obviously similar. I only got really deep over the last 18 months or so when I discovered online betting. Technology has a lot to answer for.

Anyway so happy to hear how you are enjoying your life without it now. It's great. Stay positive and my very best wishes for a gamble free future. IanB.

I am slightly worried about tomorrow. I am not really a superstitious person but 'Friday the 13th' never sounds good and I just hope none of us suffers any additional misfortune to add to our gambling, financial and/or personal worries. However unlikely it may seem, I will be particularly wary of gambling urges tomorrow just in case I am tempted to bet in any way, shape or form. No cycling tomorrow - I will be taking the tube to work as will be travelling directly to my parent's house in the afternoon and will stay there until Saturday evening.

Day 70: no gambling today.

Hi Pellekanin

Thanks for your supportive post on my diary..

Huge congratulations on your milestone in reaching 70 days, great achievement, well done.

Strangely enough i've never been superstitious except whenever i was gambling..Then it was all different. Sometimes i was like the devil possessed.It even got to the point of me taking certain coloured lighters out with me and wearing the same lucky shoes etc..etc..

Of course this was all rubbish..it was all in my head, i'd blame a really bad loss on someone standing next to me when a week previously playing with no-one watching me i had done ok..

Its just goes to show how this addiction really messes with our heads and slowly takes over our lives..

Anyway all the very best with your continued recovery and enjoy a gamblefree weekend..

Day 71: no gambling today.

Day 72: no gambling today.

Day 73: no gambling today.

The next seven days are going to be very tight financially. My bank account is running on empty - in other words I am into the last few pounds of my overdraft. Payday is at the end of the week and that should relieve some of the pressure for the time being. I must pay part of my credit card bill next week and my National Insurance bill by 31st January. I am also aware that Thames Water are due to bill me next month for another year and that is normally about £250. My wife is stressed and shouting about every little thing at the moment. She is so annoying sometimes. Bedtime now. Sleep is free and will bring some temporary relief from life's problems. Goodnight.

Day 74: no gambling today.

I was very organised this evening and cooked a large quantity of pasta, mince and bolognese sauce for dinner. It will cover my lunch and dinner tomorrow too. I really need to cut down on my outgoings as much as possible and taking a home-cooked meal to work each day is my aim; failing that, a packet soup will have to suffice. I cycled to work today thus saving £5.40 by not using the tube. One thing is for certain - I appreciate the value of money again. In fact, I have become a little stingy but I think that is a natural consequence of going from one extreme (out-of-control, care-free gambling in the thousands) to the other (being in debt and having little money left to spend after debt repayments). Onwards and upwards!

I had my weekly language class tonight. It was the first of the term and I was incredibly rusty as had neglected my studies over Christmas. I hope next week is better. It was horrible cycling home afterwards in the cold and dark for miles. Still, another £5.40 saved on travel today and that is better than blowing a few thousand on the horses. I cannot wait to get the rest of this month out of the way. The weeks after Christmas are always a struggle and I hope February brings a bit more financial comfort. I am conscious that I need to start hammering my debts if I am to have them paid off by 31st December. Even getting close to being debt-free by the end of the year would be an achievement. Around £12k of debt is £1k a month for 12 months. One thing is certain: becoming debt-free by the end of this year is more likely to happen if I do not gamble than if I start throwing money at the horses again. That would just make things much, much worse: more credit cards, personal loans, secured loans, payday loans...

Day 75: no gambling today.

Sleep...ah bliss...it's good stress relief and free!!...With you on that Pellekanin...also having a lean month as Jan is always tight. Feels good to have a plan...keep strong ..

I am in a foul mood today. I had to take the tube to work as it has been pouring with rain and I cannot cycle safely in these conditions. I got held up, arrived at work late, am behind with my work and am sick-and-tired of listening to the person I sit next to in my office making calls to estate agents and mortgage brokers about her proposed house move. I wish she would shut up and leave the room instead of making all these personal calls on office equipment. I may have to raise the matter with our line manager as she has been behaving like this for months - often making multiple calls each day. It is very irritating and I cannot tolerate it much longer. I have refrained from telling her to her face as it would make the atmosphere in the office even worse than it already is.