Ground zero

Day 3: no gambling today.

Keep off those pints (unless we are talking milk not booze). They'll only give you a beer gut and make you drop your gambling guard.

You mean my Post Office credit card application. Yes, there were multi-coloured flashing lights, then a peal of bells started ringing as the words CONGRATULATIONS repeatedly flashed on the screen with the chorus of ABBA's Money, Money, Money sounding out in the background. In reality, it just said "Congratulations". I have been accepted, but I do not know my credit limit yet. I assume I will receive something in the post next week (hopefully while I am away on holiday). I will then start utilising my interest-free credit limit wisely. I may even shred the card once the balance transfer is completed. It is, however, the best credit card you can have for foreign transactions so it's probably worth keeping (bearing in mind that I have family abroad) as long as it is not used to make any gambling transactions.

Limited urges today. I did check out my tipsters selections just out of interest (fortunately they all lost) and my subscription has now ended (I had joined up until the end of May). One less thing to worry about. One less urge to resist.

I will feel much better this time next week: I'll have reached 10 days gamble-free and my final bet will have been settled (Kingfisher in the Epsom Derby). A closed account with no unsettled bets in it will feel like some sort of closure. Of course, if the horse wins or is placed, I'll have to contact the wretched bookie again and my urges will probably increase significantly. Still, I cannot see it happening and its price probably reflects its chance.

Would prefer 'Money' from cabaret

Day 4: no gambling today.

Cruised through the first day of June without giving a toss about gambling. However, I need to stay on my guard as I know that urges can strike at any time. Busy couple of days ahead at work before heading off on holiday for a week on Wednesday. Gambling off the menu.

good going P, but so right, we must keep our guard up, it only takes a moment of madness to be back to square one with that sick feeling in the gut.

Will be great to get off on holidays for the week, hopefully you can get the brain in holiday mode and turn off gambling for a while.

Pat

Today is a week since my last bet but this is a fragile stage in my recovery so I must keep strong. However, luckily for me, I am going abroad for a week (leaving later today) and there will be no chance of betting while I am away. My last outstanding bet, which I was not able to cancel, is running in the Epsom Derby on Saturday. Once that bet is settled I will feel a lot better as it is rather hanging over me at the moment. Even though a profitable outcome would help ease my financial problems, it would be easier if the horse loses because it would avoid me having to make contact with the bookmakers again, which I really do not want to do at the moment.

Well, fingers crossed for a lose, then. Go and recover from the red mist and this terrible state we get ourselves in to.

Grim finances but hopefully we've both stopped short of total disaster

10 days clean. My final bet has now been settled and returned nothing. Even though my finances are in dire straits, it was probably for the best that the bet lost as I would only have been tempted to plough the proceeds into yet more reckless gambling. Currently abroad with no ability to gamble and not back until Wednesday, which will see me smash through the two-week barrier.

P

fella I am glad to read you have been a 'lucky' loser,something I can fully understand.

A line drawn under your own gambling,for that be very proud.

To remove the reckless nature of gambling from your life is something that we both know will deliver one thing.

That is the financial mess will not be made worse,you will be gifted the opportunity to repair that damage

Keep making the right choice

Duncs stepping forward never back

15 days clean. The last week has been a formality as I have been abroad with no means nor time to gamble. However, now I am back in the UK the urges are starting to mount up again. I keep feeling like "having another go" - surely it can't all go wrong again. Fortunately it is not possible owing to my dire financial predicament but I am concerned how I will react after payday later this month. I am well aware that Royal Ascot starts next week and there will be five days of fabulous horse racing on offer. However, it is also the race meeting that ruined me financially in 2011 so it will serve as a severe warning that I cannot get involved in any way, shape or form.

Just don't do it. Get your finances straight. It's not worth it.

17 days clean. No urges today. I need to get through the three-week barrier, which is the point at which my brain will start re-wiring itself. Finances still tight and a mess, but at least they should not get any worse.

P

fella it has been said many times that it takes 21 days to break a habit,then a lifetime to deal with addiction,that I believe profoundly true.

The honeymoon period when we stop gambling were we feel elated and a sense of achievement is something our addiction loaths,then it as we all know sits quietly in wait hoping we will again forget the carnage it gifts and go back at it.

For me remember that your efforts will in the future reward you,yes they are not instant,the damage from our gambling ensures that to get to the good times the shi##t we brought upon ourselves is to be faced up to first.

But without doubt all the time you don't punt the damage will not grow.

You are doing something outstanding through your efforts

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back

19 days clean. I got a massive urge to gamble earlier this evening and I even tried to re-open one of my old gambling accounts. Luckily for me the necessary barrier was in place (the account is suspended) as I would almost certainly have blown all remaining available funds if I had been able to re-open it. This week will bring some much-needed financial relief: payday is on Friday and, before then, some of my other revenue streams will help reduce the strain slightly. However, I have a big pile of bills to deal with on Friday so the money will not last long. I am well aware that Royal Ascot starts tomorrow so I need to be extra vigilant for the rest of the week and beyond.

P

fella that last post read a bit like 'the boy who had his finger in the d**e'

I hope it holds fella.

Bottom line is there is always a sporting event to gamble on,it is a 365 day business today.

for me the odds are stacked so far against the compulsive gambler that the chance of winning,walking away is somewhere between slim and f**k all.

But hey it took me twenty years of throwing the kitchen sink and anyone's I could get my hands upon to make me see it.

Gambling is a waste of time.

The mantra is the same for every compulsive gambler

I CANNOT WIN BECAUSE I CANNOT STOP

Duncs stepping forward never back

I have fallen off the wagon again and am in a pretty bad place at the moment both financially and mentally. I need to get my head in order and stop fooling around. I do not know what I think I was going to achieve by going back to gambling. I do not even enjoy it anymore. It just makes me feel dirty and dishonest. I looked at the people around me in the bookmakers earlier and realised that there are some people who can sit back and enjoy a modest bet with their friends. I am clearly not one of those people. I always end up chasing losses and increasing my stakes like a mad man. I am sweating like a pig at the moment and my stomach is churning. I am not going to be able to sleep tonight. It serves me right. I hate the person I become when I gamble. What is wrong with me? I need to get back on the wagon. This is going to be a long, hard journey.