Ground zero

Hi, Start again tomorrow you are not back to square one. There was a time where you did not feel guilt and enjoyed a bet you have moved from there. Gambling for you will never again be the experience it once was. Keep trying you can do this and never forget we are all here routing for you.

Hi Pell

Ok you have slipped so today is a new day pick yourself up dust yourself off and start walking again with new wisdom and that has to be positive doesn't it

Suzanne x

Another terrible day. Unfortunately, I was paid today and, rather than being sensible and paying my outstanding bills, I decided to throw yet more money at the horses. I continued until all available credit was exhausted and until all payment methods were declined. I have maxed-out my overdraft, maxed-out two credit cards and gambled away every last penny in my wallet. I have had to take emergency action and apply for yet another credit card as I have no means of surviving until the next pay day otherwise. I also need an emergency buffer, which I currently do not have. I have no idea why I am making things so hard for myself. It is almost like I am deliberately trying to jump off a cliff onto the rocks. Currently teetering on the edge of irreversible ruination. One more false move and it will be game over.

Hi Pellekanin,

I have been in very similar situations to you many times. As you say it gets to the point where we gamble just for gamblings sake and until all available funds have been depleted. Sounds like you gamble just for gamblings sake and to escape the consequences of current and previous gambling... just like I did. And I don't mean to be the barer of more bad news but it can get even worse, because eventually the banks and even pay day lenders will start to say NO and then you will have to start going to mates, work colleagues and family just to function day to day... just like what happened to me... and then it can get even worse.. when ya start thinking about stealing and other dodgy ways to get money.

It doesn't have to be this way though. You can stop trying to win money and get back on track by earning money and not gambling it. You can recover if you really want to. No more false moves my friend.. no solutions with horse racing or any other form of gambling for that matter. Just for today choose not to gamble, just as I will.. repeat tomorrow. All the best... S.A

P

fella it seems that the d**e gave way,kind of felt you were heading that way.

Interesting to read your thread ,it's good medicine for all the reasons why gambling really is a waste of time,your hard earned and to ice it,the mind f**k it gifts you.

I was wondering does the thrill come for you through getting away with the losses.

You write about another credit card,is that were the buzz kicks in,digging yourself out of the sh#it.

we all know what gambling offers

Loss,not just financial but mentally more so.

I hope you learn from the harsh lesson you gifted yourself.

As the honourable SA wrote you will one day have to seek a bail out from other darker sources,that road I have traveled too many times in my gambling life,after the well dries up,theft is the next option,I hope you get of the ride before that day.

I wish your health well

I have walked in those shoes.

I used to think it was like riding a train toward a cliff,with each episode I would get closer to the train crash,jumping off just before it went over the edge each time it sailed off the cliff,each time I got bailed out thinking I had escaped and went back at it,forgetting where the train was heading all to easily

Today I still ride that train,each day I have to make a choice,the choice is made today from the buffet car instead of strapping myself to the front of the train!!!

My friend there is a seat here waiting for you,only you can make the choice to take it

Duncs stepping forward never back

Thank you for all your support - it is much appreciated. I would not get the same understanding from my family - it takes one to know one. I got through today mainly because I was out at a barbecue, which was definitely a much better way to spend a hot, sunny afternoon than isolated in front of a computer losing money, eating junk food, being very irritable and enduring endless palpitations. The dust is beginning to settle following yesterday's detonation and I am starting to work out a plan of action for the coming weeks and months. I need to hammer my debts hard, but I must also be mindful of the needs of my family and not appear to behave too strangely. It will be a delicate juggling act. Aside from my credit card debts, I am deep in my overdraft with very limited funds remaining. All outstanding bills will have to wait until I am paid at the end of July. My main priority at the moment is keeping afloat until the end of this month at which point I will go abroad for 10 days. Once I am abroad, I shall be staying with family so I am going to have to rely heavily on family hospitality. Hopefully I can get through the whole holiday without spending any money whatsoever.

I am sorry, but I have continued to gamble during the past week and have, consequently, lost more money. I have said it before, but this really has to stop once and for all. I cannot afford to continue living like this and my body is really suffering because of it. I am having bad palpitations, my digestive system is completely wrecked and my mind is consumed by stress and worry. My body is telling me to stop because I cannot live like this anymore. I have to listen before things get any worse. My debts have reached 8k spread across several credit cards plus my overdraft. I am nearly back to where I was in November 2011 (14k in debt) and I just cannot face going back there again. I am taking steps to transfer my credit card balances onto 0% deals to save money on interest payments and to give me some time to get things in order. More immediately, I need to get some gamble-free days under my belt and knuckle down until the next payday, at which point I will gradually start to whittle away at my debts. This is going to be a long, hard slog but I will get there.

Pelle,

please take a deep breath and re read your last post. it just shows what this addiction is doing to us.

you say you need just a few days then lets say the 1st July is still on, 4 days bet free as a start, from there lets go for 1st August.

I am bet free but JUST.. walked into a bookies on 2 occasions and actually wrote out a bet but walked out. id say the only reason im still bet free is because i have been traveling a lot with work lately, am so busy i have minimal opportunities, (online gambling does not do it for me thank god)

One think killing me (and focusing me)at the moment is every time i am in an airport i see happy families heading off on their holidays, i only wish i could bring my family off to enjoy a holiday, i should be able to do it, i certailny earn enough and work hard enough but then i f**k up and give it to the bookies. I am planning to go on holiday next year and it is only possible if i stop betting.

Keep strong bud, one day at a time, 1st of July then 1st of august, you abstained before, it is possible, just dig deep and make it happen. remember the feeling of not being stressed to the eyeballs over debt, gambling, not sleeping right, body aching. it will come again, lets just build one good day on top of another.

Pat

Day 1: no gambling today.

Today was a struggle as urges kept rising up inside me, but I stayed strong and kept myself busy. I am going on holiday for ten days from Monday and am looking forward to getting away from things for a while (although I am planning to update my diary when possible). I have done a lot of reading about breaking a habit and it does seem like the first three or four weeks are key. My first target, however, is to get through the rest of this month without gambling. Slow and steady wins the race.

If you haven't already seen it, this is an interesting documentary about problem gambling and gambling regulation in this country: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TGrfuQsTUY

P

Fella I have heard many times that it takes 21 days to break a habit,then a lifetime to deal with addiction.

The pain of those losses something I like to remind myself of,because addiction loves to paper over the carnage it gifts.

I hope you enjoy your break

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back

Day 2: no gambling today.

I kept busy today and enjoyed spending some quality time with my dear son. I followed the Brazil v Chile game without the distraction of a bet - it was quite refreshing not to be bothered about the outcome for a change. I almost certainly would have backed Brazil to win in 90 minutes so thank goodness I stayed clean and did not get involved. Talking of betting on the football, I found this documentary about the "90 minute addiction" interesting and very true: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSwgol42ijQ

Hi pk. I'm in same situation as yourself, joined at similar time as you back in 2011 and have also like yourself just fallen off once again having racked up a scary level of debts. Reading your recent posts is like a mirror image of my current state. My mega relapse fails are becoming as much a habit as the gambling itself. I need stop and unfortunately at moment I don't have any words that may help you but reading your diary has certainly given me a bit of hope. To read posts so similar and that I'm not the only one battling this has somehow helped/boosted me. Let's get back on track and no more relapses.

Day 3: no gambling today.

Another busy day with no time to even contemplate placing a bet. My bags are packed and I'll be leaving the United Kingdom overnight. Really looking forward to a change of scene after the unmitigated financial carnage and unrelenting stress of the last few weeks. I am not in a position to take stock of my finances yet as various transactions and balance transfers have not cleared. Hopefully things will start to become clearer by the middle of next week. Such a mess. Still, if I abstain from gambling my financial position should not get any worse. Onwards and upwards.

Hi Pelle,

Are you still visiting the forum? I've followed your diary since 2011 - hope life is improving for you.

Paul