HARMONY !

Yo,

Just got home , yipeeeeeeeeeeee.

Place looks like a tornado found its way through the front door and did not leave until just before I got home , oh joy of joys .

Found a half eaten box of chocs under my pillow . Think it was the oh way of letting me know he missed me .lol

Good to be home .

Shiny xxxxxxxxx

Good mornin shiny

As Dorothy said clicking her red shoes there's no place like home and not a truer word spoken since 1939 , now u av mestarted on the wizard of oz !

Starting our journey on the yellow brick road trying to get where we want to not knowing what's in front of us , alone and scared , sounds all way too familiar for us all then along the way we meet people with a brain who share their ideas and help us along our way , people with a heart who show they care sayin the right words after a bad day picking them up to carry on with their journey , then people who show great courage admitting their problems fighting finding that self belief and determination that lies within them , finally one day we reach our destination of a better life for ever

Know idea where that came from was just wanting to say mornin and send u a big hug

Take care as always thinkin of u

Castle2

morning shiny,

I hope they had the red carpets out for you when you got home and a nice bubble bath waiting for you. Im sure youve given your dad a massive hug as well, i wish everyday I could still do that. Hope all is good im the middle, i seem to be swerving a little off centre at the moment but i have the stabalisers on just in case.

Enjoy your day

Blondie xxxx

Hey silly billy,

It wasnt insensitive, unfortuantly its life and ive learnt that acceptance is the key to contentment, If you hug him that bit tighter then all is good.

As for the helmet, I love it its bright pink with flowers on and matchs my illuminous nails, im afraid your piccy that you posted on my diary of nails had a weird effect on me and my nails are very hmmm over the top lol.. I have matching knee pads and those lycra shorts to go with it.. All in all i look like someone who has escaped and should be sectioned immediatly.

Bright is beautiful lol.

Blondie xxxxxxxx

Hi Shiny,

Hope you are enjoying home life again?

You have had a journey from the moon and back....how many of us can say that eh?

In my humble opinion....you are that little bright star that somehow we always see in the dark night............Keep going my friend shiny.....we all look to you for the light!

Hugs Sue xxxxx

Morning world ,

Can feel a lot more changes going on in myself .

Finding I am loosing the motivation to post .Not sure why?

I still read everyday but often have nothing to say .

When I look back there are lots of people still in recovery who don't post everyday , or reply to every post they get , but still stay close to this site , that is sort of where I am now .

Bit like when I started off needing double the dose of medicine to start to get well and as you do the dose halves . So have decided to take a half step back from here, although will read everyday .

Was thinking about my middle , following Flaggs posts about extremes the other day and Blondies about still wearing stabilisers

My middle lane is quite a thick one . Still have good and bad days . But my emotions about it all , have stopped going way over board.

When I was gambling , I hated my life , felt I had married the wrong man, worked toooo hard , everyone wanted toooooo much from me . My life was one of oh woe is me . When good things happened I would think I had won a gold medle and when bad things happened I would think the world would end in the next ten minutes . Opposite sides of my spectrum. Both would send me into a gambling frenzy either to reward myself or appease myself . So good or bad things would happen, and would both result in a loose loose situation.

For me the middle , is a place where extreems do not exists ( now obviously very serious things happen in your life , but I am discounting them from my middle , although know I can deal with them should thay arise)

I have accepted my life as it is, stopped gambling , and calmed down . Life is a million times easier mentally than it was , still very busy , still feel that everyone make toooooo many demands on me. But am learning to live with that

This does not mean I think I am cured, or that I am getting complacent , it is just I believe where I have come to in my journey .

It also does not mean that I am leaving this site or giving up posting . Just not as much .

I met my weekly challenge this week and wore my glasses every day . Next week I challenge myself to find somewhere I want to go out to. ( I very rarely go out socially) I would say once a year if that. Tell my husband and let him plan it , probably will end up 10 of us going somewhere .

So going forward , I know I have come a long in a year , I am quite intrigued to see how far I have come after two.

Watch the space .......

Shiny xxxxxxxxx

Good Morning,

That was a real in-depth post, which I am glad to have read this morning. I agree with so much of what you have to say. As you will know, I really pulled back from posting as much as I used to but still read stories on this site every single day. I don't reply as much as I used to, which is a selfish act on my part and I should really put more back in.

From the beginning, I decided that my diary would only be about gambling and the trials and tribulations I would experience throughout my journey. I stopped posting because I didn't have much else to say. I see this as a good thing. What that statement says is that I look at life differently, I don't panic as much or constantly worry about money or letting my family down. I can sleep at night and I am at peace with life. I am a few days short of half a year gambling free and I take nothing for granted and that is why I still visit this site daily.

Your posts offer so much more to this site than the average user. Many users will look at your diary first thing in the morning and last thing at night. You have become involved in the successful recoveries of so many on this site, including myself. If you were to pull away you will be sorely missed but never forgotten. Personally, I think it is a natural process for people who become content or are in the act of becoming content with life and themselves to post less and less as time goes on. That is just my opinion.

P.S. Ever since my wife conned me into getting a laptop I have struggled with my eyes. I went for a test last week and it was confirmed that I need glasses. The optician says that my long distance sight is fine but I struggle up close. He then proceeded to tell me that if I go ahead and get glasses I should wear them as little as possible. This amazed me.

Have a lovely weekend.

Tomso.

Hey Shiny,

I sort of seen it coming, I had my septic peg crystal ball out, but then I think its the natural progression of our journey, I felt the same a few weeks ago but to be honest i dont think im ready yet, im a bit scared to break what is a winning formula for me just yet.

But i suppose like a bird leaving its nest we have to let your spread your wings and fly, you will like you say be back to the nest for that comfy feeling should you need it and im sure you will be keeping a watchfull eye on us all.

I will as always look forward to your posts, I think i said on my first post to you as dusty that i felt like i had arrived to the site when you posted on my diary. I wanted what you had, that 3rd eye to understand this addiction and therefore to understand myself, Im getting there.. where ever there is.

I thank you for all the fun and laughter for all the guidence and wise words, for all the food for thought. And if you never come back (which i hope isnt the case) there are a few gems engrained in my head and my heart that I will call on when i need them.

Go get em kiddo. !

Blondie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Good afternoon Shiny,

My first entry on your new diary.. but just like the last one, I have taken many positives from it and selfishly, hope to continue to do so.

I wanted to say that having been on the forum for almost 6 months now, I have noticed how you have this amazing knack of reading between the lines and knowing exactly what the poster is going through, even if they don’t know or say themselves.

I’m not sure if that’s just experience or if it’s just a natural instinct, but either way, it’s incredibly comforting to know that someone else knows exactly what you are going through… even if at times we can’t see it ourselves.

Whatever you do from here on in, I wish you all the best, because that’s the least you deserve!

Take care

Lmm xxx

Hey Shiny,

Totally agree with everyone.....You have the knack.........You know what to say to reassure someone......You Shiny have helped so many people. Me being one of them.

Whatever works hun

Keep wearing dem s**y shades!

Always looking out for your posts....always will!

Hugs Sue xxxxzx

Hi Shiny... good to read that your journey is a fairly smooth one at the moment and am guessing that if your reading this youve got your glasses on.. :-)... or maybe not. Ive havent had my eyes tested since i was a child and will continue with squinty eyes for some time am sure lol

I hear what you say about pulling back a bit from posting. You follow a well trodden path. As for me, well I continue to career out of the middle path from time to time.. usually on to the path at the bottom of the ravine.. so i continue to wear my stabilisers. My stabalisers are very old and getting a bit rusty but they continue to do their job. Thanks for your support... S.A 🙂

Hey,

So a bitter sweet moment reading your post. As always my admiration for you is endless and you tackle recovery in your own way. I feel we are similar in that respect. We may do it a bit differently but it's our way. If it works then it's clearly the right way.

I think you have momentum at the moment and its all forward. You stand on your own two feet and nothing but respect for you.

I know as a wise man that you won't fly too far from this nest I have read enough to know you will be close by but you will become a 'Dipper' rather than a 'Serial' and I sincerely hope that works for you. Like Blondie just for now I will remain 'Serial' but like many have said and done 'Dipping' is progress and there maybe some who do it too soon, you my friend have prob just about got it spot on.

Flagg

Loved your last post Shiny, if you're in a good place then why not enjoy new challenges, that's what life's all about. I too have become more of a reader than a poster yet my time is spent happily and as long as I keep my mindset/emotions in check then I should be ok. I wish you well and thanks for the last post.

Take care, Steve

Yo,

Thanks guys for your replies , loved the expression I am now a dipper . Lol

An early morning dip , no swimming costume required .

Do I need to be on my guard ?

Not been sleeping well the last few days . Only managing 3/4 hours a night . Do not know why .

Tiredness is a big trigger for me .

As I wrote that I thought what a load of twoddle.

Here is a list of my triggers ..........

When I am tired

When I am stressed

When I am sad

When I am happy

When I am P***** off .

When good things have happened

When bad things have happened

When nothing has happened

When the sun is shining

When the sun is not shining .

Do you sort of see a pattern here . Would i convince myself that I was gambing to make myself feel better because I was one of the things on the list above .....yes sireeeeeeeeee.....

But in reality I did not need an excuse . I would just find one , and guess what they were about as easy to find as a bookies in your local high street ( there's always more than one ......bit like my excuses)

But that was then , this is now. Tired or not today I will not gamble , I will not need to battle it , cause I do not want to gamble . But as always will leave my money and cards at home cause I do not need them , so why not .

Shiny xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hello shiny.

Your last paragraph sums it all up.

Barriers in place and choosing NOT to gamble.

Keep going lassie whether reading or writing,its obviously working.

Best wishes

Winning post