Help

Night bud over time the good hours will turn into good days and over time the good days will come along more frequently.

It's good you have someone to talk to you certainly find out who your friends are when the s**t hits the fan.

KTF

I wake every morning and I cry. I just want these tears to stop now I miss my girls so so much.

I will not gamble today in the hope that this new future before me is one I will eventually cherish.

The sadness is killing me but I know I have to remain strong.

Arrived at work more uncontrollable tears. I am seeing my councellor tonight, I really need to.

Mid morning now, been one of real mental toughness. My thoughts are with my girls, I want to know they are okay. I am counting down the hours to my 6pm appointment with my councellor. I need to cry, I need to talk and I need to work through this emotional time constructively.

I haven't cried much in 25 odd years, I am now a human waterfall. I guess this is natural for someone who has refused to deal with their emotions in so long.

Sorry for the constant rambles but it really helps me just type things when I feel them. I cannot pester my friends all the time, with calls and texts.

I live in hope that all this is for a brighter future and the hope will drive me on forever. I like who I am now but I hate what I have done.

Making plans to do some volunteer work, use my energy for something good and to help others. I lost my grandparents quite young so thinking of something along the lines of visiting older people on their own to just talk and have a bit of cake with them and listen to their worldy experiences and maybe share my story with them. I cannot shut up about things now it is literally pouring out of me.

Keep talking Matt! Keep crying, keep doing all the things that you are doing as this is grief ! It's a process that we all go through when we suffer loss. I promise u that in time u will heal andbecome stronger.

Voluntary works sounds like a great idea 😉

The grief I am feeling I know is natural and it is killing me on a daily basis. I have never had to go through this process before but I will face it head on as painful as this truly is.

Hi Matt

I'm returning to the forum after a few years away. I felt like crying this morning. I hate the pain that I cause for myself but there is hope. I manged to abstain for years. I was really really hard but things do eventually get better. Time heals all wounds. You are roughly the same age as me, there is a lot of life to live. Other people will come into your life, people will return to your life. It sounds like you need to get out of your head. I find a walk in nature helps. Congratulations on 88 days! it's got a nice ring to it. Im day dot. There is a long way to go but we are moving in the right direction.

Stay Strong. Mark

Hi Mark

I am sorry to hear you are back to day dot but that is a start, keep strong.

I have been walking a lot but on these walks I cry and cry thinking about the loss of my beautiful family, I wish they were back in my life I would never treat them wrong again. Either way they are my inspiration even if it does feel like life is pretty hopeless now. I want to fast forward a year but I cannot, this grieving process is a killer but I will not gamble.

Take care mate

Matt

Another day gamble free and feeling quite positive. Had a good chat with my ex, long road back but we are amicable and it feels good to have that in my life again even if we cannot be together in the long run.

Day 89 nearly done. No urges. Had a nice walk today, feels good being out in the fresh air and thinking about the future that being gamble free enables.

Feeling a little low now but will not ever be turning back to gambling.

Not sure why the blank but hey ho gamcare!!!

Tomorrow is a new year, new start - 365 clean pages to write our story...*** it with both hands life is too short !!

Good luck to u and your recovery for 2017

Yep. Went to church earlier, said my first ever prayer. I am a new man and I look forward to embracing 2017 as daunting as it currently feels.

Happy New Year Mel, and everyone else. Good luck, stay strong and all the best to each and every one of you.

Matt

Happy new year when it arrives Matt.

To you too Damo