Hi Matt,
Have enjoyed following your diary as I can draw a lot of parallels to my own life.
I am only 26 days GF but hope to use your diary as motivation.
breakfree
Hi Matt, thanks for your extremely kind words! I honestly don't want to paint myself as some kind of martyr but just wanted to do the right thing by my girl. Indeed it is time to start thinking about the future and myself a bit more. Funnily enough I've always joked that I would like a man just to put the bins out (I'm not flakey it'S just a pet peeve) and last night as I wrestled the bin onto the pavement a man did offer to help. So hey dreams can come true! Matt you also have do much to give, I guess we live and learn from the past. Take care S:)
Thankyou for posting on my diary, always appreciated. Seems you had some great fun dancing the night away in your younger days ' Young hearts run Free'. The beat, the exhileration WOW. John Travolta worked by day in a hardware store but by night he was a king of the rhythm. Witness tribal gatherings of happy people all lost in music. I imagine music has been a positive influence on people since adam was alive.
I remember one day working in a day centre for the elderly. lovely people were exercising gently to music, all looking as happy as Larry. Next up was bingo, they still looked contented and entertained but their attitude had changed, I could see greed in there faces.
Almost everone loves singing & dancing, tapping along to the beat or maybe just reflecting on the lyrics of there favourite songs.
Congratulations Matt on 350 Days Gamble Free. A great example sending out a clear message to us all, recovery from gambling addiction is possible ..... stephen
Day 351
Sharon, a man to put the bins out, shoot for the stars hey Sharon :-). I hope you find what you deserve, someone to share a bit of life with now.
Stephen, as ever your words are appreciated. Music I believe evades the brain and heads staright to the soul, it has amazing power.
I had a nice weekend gamble free. Friday I went to the cinema with a couple of friends, Saturday I had some friends/customers over so we went to watch the football and then for a delicious thai lunch. People say don't mix work with pleasure but I am fortunate to say I can do both, my customers are my good friends! Sunday I went for lunch with my family and saw my little niece, she has the uncanny ability of putting a smile on my face whenever I see her. I know I have come so far, rapidly approaching a whole year gamble free. I am under no illusion that the second year could be the toughest due to potential complacency but I will stay strong and life is going to be lived.
Thanks again everyone.
Matt
Indeed setting the bar high there, I'm easily pleased! Glad you had a great weekend and enjoying the GF life S:)
Day 352,
No gambling but yesterday the little demon had a word in my ear and said "go on have a little accumulator on the football". I ignored and abstained. A message to all reading my diary, as much as I want to say it is easy after a certain number of days, unfortunately I cannot. I think we will always live with this little monster who will occasionally ask the question, just answer with a firm "No" as this little guy is the gateway to waking up the huge gambling monster that lives within us all. The monster who won't stop until we are ruined emotionally, financially and exhausts us until they cannot feed from us anymore, until the next time that is. Our job is to make sure there is no next time.
Above is the best way I can describe my addiction, it starts with a nagging, lets have a little bet and ends in turmoil with ups and downs during the binge.
Day 352, less than 2 weeks from a year gamble free and another test passed.
Matt
Day 357
Went out Friday evening for some drinks. Saturday I spent literally from 10-5 cleaning my house and gardening! Saturday eve I got a takeaway and watched a film! Sunday I went to see my brother do a Tough Mudder then went for dinner with him and his GF.
Another weekend GF and enjoying how much my life has changed for the better for it. I am now just short of a week away from a full year gamble free and the last brutal binge. What a crazy year it has been!
Stay strong all.
Matt
Hi Matt Thanks for posting, I know I can't believe how quickly time has gone...Although at the beginning seemed painfully slow. Glad you had a top weekend, such a great world out there when we don't gamble. Take care and am sure you're on countdown to a YEAR amazing S:)
Nearly there MATT ! Hang on buddy ! Keep on rocking ! Proud of you man !:)
Sars
Thankyou Matt for posting on my diary. Great to see you racing towards One Year GF, I am counting down the days until next tuesday when all your friends will be looking skyward and hollering ..... ROCK ON MATT......
Massive respect for your brothers achievement in completing the Tough Mudder ..... : "Tough Mudder" is a 10-12 mile mud and obstacle course designed to bring you out of your comfort zone by testing your physical strength, stamina, and mental grit. With no podiums, winners, or clocks to race against, it's not about how fast you can cross the finish line. Rather, it's a challenge that emphasizes teamwork, camaraderie, and accomplishing something almost as tough as you are."
To wrestle your life back from the insidious gambling addiction is to me a 'Tough Mudder Challenge' in it's own right. Congratulations Matt on your continued good progress. You've earned the 'GamCare Tough Mudder T Shirt' to wear with pride. Take care, hang on to it at all costs.......stephen
Hi Matt
Thanks for posting on my diary.Almost at the one year mark, you should be so proud of what you have acheived, the advice that you are able to give others on here due to your own experiences is so well recieved.You seem to be enjoying your life ,how it should be,the world is a much better place without gambling.
Take care
Annie x
One year is fantastic Matt, I am determined to also reach the year mark:-)
Day 358
Thank you all yet again for your words of kindness and encouragement they really are appreciated more than you will know.
Stephen, I like the anaology a lot. I do believe I went to some serious murky, muddy and dark places and at times felt like I was drowning in the swamp of gambling and emotional misery. I went to depths so deep and ventured lower than I ever had before. Previously I had just dipped my toe and never admitted and realised the true danger of the risks I would take. I had never really started the race for recovery and when I did I could not see the end but knew I had to keep on going. I was weighed down in emotional turmoil and financial problems. I used others hands to help pull me up and out and have kept running ever since. I know there is no finish line in this race but I know I will never ever stop running now, I simply can't. My hand is here to help you guys too along the way, we are all in this together.
Stay strong all.
Matt
Hi Matt,
Just spent the last hour reading your diary. What a fantastic read. It is amazing how far you've came and how well you've taken everything that's happened in your stride. It's also amazing what a year can do. I feel like your recovery is similar to mine in the sense that you put your family first now and know that family is the most important thing in the world. I'm on day 356 and a year ago my family didn't want to know. They had a feeling of what was going in my life and tbh I never cared to see them. All my time was for gambling and gambling alone. I can't describe how fantastic my life is now, and I have a feeling that's how you feel too.
Well done on your gamble free days and getting your life together. This diary is a breath of fresh air mate.
Dan
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