Hi guys
Thought I would start writing as it will assist me in my recovery. A little background, my poison is the FOBT's, in particular the roulette machine. In the past I have had a few attempts of quitting but only lasted a few weeks. On the 3rd of March 2017 I quit gambling totally until the 28th July 2017, I got drawn into the bookies, bad excuse but I was in another town, heavy, heavy rain, ready to meet the mrs, then she phones to say 'I thought I would be done by now but will be another 3 more hours' - I have money in my pocket and detest walking around shops, you can guess the rest!
Well, that day was the start of me gambling 8 times throughout August 2017, the first 6 visits consisted of me winning a total of £3,500, unfortunately, on the last two visits I lost £3,490.
So the skinny is, I managed 5 months total gambling free, gambled for 4 weeks and am up £10. I am up to 6 days gamble free now and back on the wagon.
I am very disappointed with myself for gambling again but IF, sorry I mean WHEN I get to next March total gamble free then is it so bad that I have done 1 year with a blip in the middle that I didn't lose any money.
Oh the title, yes I have decided to be hard on myself the next time I think of gambling or gamble, no more excuses, no self patting myself on the back and saying it will be ok or saying to myself it's only a blip. If I gamble again, it's MY fault and nobody else's.
Shaun
Back into the swing of things, feel now like the 5 months I had off from gambling - don't even want to gamble!
Just read a great line on a GA site.
Stopping gambling is the easy part, STAYING STOPPED is the hard part.
So true.
Hey Shaun , Thank's for the comment on my diary buddy , most of it's the scrible of a4 yr old but there are the odd good bit's in there too :)) .
Congrats on the first week gamble free although I saw you'd managed 5 months before so you know how to tackle this addiction of our's and I think as you'd said we have to be on our guard all the time , not leaving gambling with any back doors to sneak in :)).
I also noticed we had the same enemy in the Fobt's ( horrible little thing's ) , you were fortunate just to end up a tenner down if I'm honest , I must have stuffed many , many thousands in the throat of one of those without so much as a " Here's a few quid for yourself " .
You'll never beat them my friend , I spent so much time trying every system I could think of and they all ended in failure which of course kept me going back for more because we gamblers don't like to lose do we ? and so the cycle continued :(( .
There's a mantra on here that say's " We cannot win because we cannot stop " which just about sums it all up really because enough is never enough and in the last bet I placed on those I won £ 1200 in the morning and a couple of hours later I'd given it all back plus another few hundred of my own and for what , to win a max payout of £ 500 ? , it's just crazy and makes no sense at all , well it doesn't when I can now look back and reflect ! .
Build your wall's high my friend and put as many barriers in the way of yourself and gambling as you can , then turn your back and leave those losses behind .
If you need any info then just ask buddy as were alway's here to help :))
Talk to you soon and keep pushing forward :))
Hi Shaun . Don;t apologise mate you can come over whenever the need for a chat arises .
I guessed there were more losses but was just remarking on what you'd described in your post . Oh how I can empathise with all those near misses , which of course are in no way controlled and just random ? buy cleverly designed to keep you playing .
I used to have a way around the " Old chap waiting to pounce syndrome " I'd go to the cashpoint but ask the cashier to lock the machine as I was coming back :(( . How desperate was I mate, LOL.
Glad to say it's all in the past foir me now and truly somewhere I never want to return .
Talk to you soon my friend .
o*g, all's fair in love & sharking huh?
I could probably have made the Olympics with the speed I got to & from the cash machine & woe betide any little old people hobbling along in the way, a speeding bullet couldn't have caught me & yet the number of times people would have 'innocently' pressed off my credit (always had to leave one) & be on their way to winning all my money by the time I got back was incredible 🙁 Strange how I regularly 'watched' ones for hours on end with the single credit calling me over or a reserved notice as appeared towards the end of my 'career' & no-one ever ventured near them. Ooo, conspiracy alert...Sometimes I'd dare to ask the staff if they could clear them down only to be told no!
Like Al, breaking even was a very good day for me & those nightmares are staying in the past where they belong!
Recovery is about more than being hard on yourself, I tried that tact unsuccessfully for years...Don't be afraid to get some proper support through counselling &/ GA - ODAAT
Hi guys
Funny, on the radio this morning the dJ was asking people to phone in and tell everyone the most costly mistake they have ever made in their lives. People were ringing in to say things like dropping a £10 on the floor and the wind blowing it away, parked on double yellows and got £30 fine etc.
Was amusing to myself, we on here have lost hundreds and thousands of pounds in an evening by gambling - brought it all home. Whilst on the subject of costly mistakes, I once decided to go to the Casino for a 'free cup of tea' as I was in town and kicking my heels waiting for the mrs. £1700 that free cup of tea cost me!
Hi again Shaun .
Thank's for the clip , i looked at it earlier and makes a lot of sense and pretty much mirrors what the advice is on here but there's nothing like a bit of reinforcement is there :))
T B H , I thought that's just how my dad would have laid it out in front of me had he still been around and giving a dose of advice :)).
I noticed in your post above you went for the " Free Tea " , with me it was all about the " Free parking " , it was just like dangling a worm in front of a starving fish and meant me walking all the way in the casino accross past the tables to get to the cash desk to validate the parking , as I have a Shogun it must have equated to £ 100 a foot for parking :(( .
Take it easy mate
Day 9 and all is well.
Will take steps today, my personal credit card allows me to take out £500 from the ATM and my company debit card allows me to take out another £700. Today I will change them amounts to £0, that way if heaven forbid, I fall off the wagon then the damage will me minimal. So many times after a big loss I have said to myself, "why didn't you stop at just a £200 loss", instead of going to the ATM for £500 and then after 20 mins £700.
Shaun
Hi guys
11 days now, kind of strange because I am finding it really easy, I guess it's because I have done 5 months gamble free and gambled 8 times for a total of 2 hours so I wasn't really into the swing of gambling - good thing really.
Shaun
The days gambling add up quick but so do the gamble free days, day 13, onwards and upwards.
Day 15 today, one of my numbers on the roulette machine - no more though!
Hey sha999, Keep up the good work. I too have a fobt problem. I am now on day 136 which is my best ever run. i did 91 days from november to feb this year too. We are never up though on a machine. i could win one day and go back in the same day and lose it etc etc etc. I try to imagine the poor bookies having less and less people standing at their machines and having to put the closing down signs up. For example if me and you used the same venue they would notice that we hadnt been in and P****d money away on them and that would be satisfying. Small acorns grow big trees. Stay strong
15 sound's like a winning number today Shaun :))
I'd pretty much cover most numbers on the roulette , usually after walking to the casino or bookies I'd look around at car number plates or road signs and even convinced myself that a number 22 bus was a sign from the gambling god's LOL ! , what was I thinking eh ? as it all ended the same way :(( .
Keep pushing buddy you'll soon have the first month under your belt !
Cringe alert...You talking about signs has reminded me not only if my lucky knickers (the female gambler's equivalent to pulling pants) but also of my propensity for treading in dog's mess :-0 As Queen of the Turds, it was something I gladly accepted whilst gambling, now not so much.
I've whispered sweet nothings to machines, twisted bingo books around, tried special combinations of button pressing...If I'd had found a number 8 crisp, I would have probably tried my hand @ Roulette too! So relieved that I don't live like that anymore.
Have you thought any more about GA?
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