Hope

Well another day passes gambling free.

Its been hard this week am not coping terribly well.. am just struggling to smile at the moment.. its felt like this for months really... just the occasionally moments of cheerfulness. Am not gambling though and my drinking hasn't got out of control...so thats positive. Is feeling happy a choice...I dunno. regards to all who read this.. S.A

Last gamble of any kind was on the 25th of May this year.

SA,

looks to me like you're feeling a bit down in the dumps at present - sorry to hear that - and i do hope that things get better for you in the near future.

Also, very well done on not weakening when the going got tough...the disease tends to especially target us when we are feeling a little vulnerable...so well done on staying strong.

I hope the job gets better soon as well and you do start to feel more upbeat as result.

However, one thing I do know........irrespective of how you feel at present...........or how many problems / issue you have...............your situation would be 100 times worse IF you were still gambling. Because, you could add EXCESSIVE FINANCIAL problems on to your list.

Really pleased that you have not succumbed and hope there is light at the end of the tunnel soon.

Stay strong

Tiodaat

Hiya SA,

Your doing so well. You've come through a lot! I'm sorry to hear your feeling down.

If it's your job thats causing you problems, and you can't forsee it getting any better...would you be in a position to look for a new job? I know this is easier said than done...especially if you have invested alot in your career.

Hopefully things will get better for you very soon...but there is no harm in looking at other opportunites.. the worlds your oyster. Keep us posted, stay strong.

Hug

Delxx

HI S. A.

I'm truly sorry to hear you are feeling below par, read your comment about staying cheerful being a choice. Funnily enough I read just the other day that a minute spent feeling angry is a minute gone forever that you cannot smile, make someone happy, tell someone you love them, or enjoy your life...60 seconds gone just like that and it does put things into perspective.

I know it's impossible to be happy all the time, but to step back and look at whatever is upsetting you, for me usually a slow computer, or someone keeping me hanging about on the phone something really trivial in real terms. Now I try to think I can spend that minute or so much better thinking of things I can say / do to make others smile. What made me happy, or what I have to look forward too...changing my outlook.

Having been to USA / Canada a few times now I really must state they are the friendliest people I have ever met, polite, helpful, fantastic views, so much to see & do.

Life is for living starting over, let others moan, while pushing such problems aside for the enjoyment of what we have today, right now. We all have something we can cling too in times of strife, pain, upset..just take those few seconds to stand back and think.

Hope you are feeling a little better today, not gambling well that's an excellent way to start & finish ANY DAY and a reason to celebrate. Hope you don't mind if I join you on a non-gambling day.

Day 134 since my slip.

Thank you one and all for your thoughtful comments.. you have helped me get through a sticky patch 🙂

Tiodaat.. as you say whatever problems, whatever difficult feelings, whatever their is or is not going on in my life.. to go to gambling will only add excessive financial drain to the list. I now have savings enough for a rainy day and that does bring a sense of secuirty and peace within me. I do not want to surrender that to the gambling monster within.

Delgirl.. The world is my oyster. I like that saying. An ambition of mine is to go to the Himalayas and walk up to Everest base camp and perhaps beyond. This can never happen if gambling is a part of my life. The world is my oyster.

Williebhoy.. Looking forward.. What do i have to look forward?.. I think that this is one of the reasons that I had started to struggle a little in myself.. I couldnt really think of anything. I think its all very well taking each day as it comes.. it certainly does work for me... but I think i also need things to work towards something to focus on to make my life a little more meaningful. On a bad headspace day all i can see is an endless cycle of work home gym.. work home gym.. and the occasional forray to see my family..and in the long term thats not enough to keep me stable.

I am going to book myself a holiday.. just me.. in a hotel.. somewhere warm by the sea.. outside of high season.. just so i can go and chillout.. and be totally selfish and self-indulgent for a week. Just a week.. I think i would get bored for any longer than that. But i also think it would do my self-confidence the world of good.. just to do something different. And of course when gambling ruled my life I didnt have holidays atall.. no money.

Regards to all who read this and all the best to everyones recovery.. S.A 🙂

Day 135 since my slip

Tough day emotionally and psycholgically. But I am a fighter not a quiter! ... one of Peter mandelsons phrases i think.

I'd like to sit here and write the in's and outs of all the stress thats going on for me at work but I won't. Perhaps I can just find a small smile and say to myself.. "Well done for keeping clear of the gambling despite all that is going on for me"

Regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

Hi S.A.

Love the idea of a holiday, a wee bit of pampering just for you and why not...something to really focus on, countdown the days and enjoy the full benefits. Let someone else do the cooking, cleaning while you relax.

135 days clear and going well. We're all different but in some aspects are all the same. Too easy to get stuck in a rut, unable to see a way out. I note you said you see your family now & again...maybe they don't get in contact as often as you would hope...so why not YOU take the initiative and call them, not just close family..but distant relatives, friends just to say Hi, thinking of you. I'm sure it would make their day...then perhaps they will do likewise...nothing overly much just a chat maybe.

We all want things to happen today, wait for ages...well we also have the ability to make things happen ourseleves. Leave the ideas and get up & DO IT..actions not words. Get the upneat music on, go out for a wee meal with a friend or two, all dolled up for no reason other than why not.

Feeling the stress / pressures of everyday life...

I am reminded of a wee saying I read once

Don't fear pressure, for pressure is what turns rough stones into diamonds .....Your a diamond for sure S.A. now just give yourself a wee polish and show the world how brightly you can shine.

well done startin again on your 136 days gamblefree 🙂

Hi SA, hope that today the stresses are less than when you last posted, try to keep strong, maybe you feel that you can escape to a machine and forget about the stress you are under, but you really know like I do that if you did that you would just end up coming home with more stress and unhappiness. Keep smiling and strong, Bandit

End of day 136 gambling free.

Williebhoy.. well what can I say wise words indeed... thankyou. It is true for example that I often think about my family but ring alot less and that many potential friendships have sailed on by because i have not picked up the phone. I have always had a tendency to retreat in to my own thoughts like a snail into its shell. I have a rich inner world of thoughts and imaginary conversations. I find it hard to be "out" in the world. These are the things that I want to work on.. because I know in time I may become a happier person that way.

It is no surprise I think that machines were my choice of gambling as opposed to anything else.

Potholesbabe.. thanks for your support.. the days soon mount up.. am pleased with what i have acheived 🙂

Bandit... Unfortunately stress levels are still high.. and may in the short term get higher..again all work related and not something that i can really talk about here. But I do try to smile when i remember and enjoy the moment and yes I am NOT escaping to a machine... now thats always good news 🙂

Regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

End of day 138 gambling free.

I do feel strong in recovery today.. though I have had a difficult week..its felt like an emotional rollercoaster just not quite as bad as the gambling emotional rollercoaster.

Today I was walking into work and I got half-way and then i couldn't go any further. I felt so stressed out about what the day potentially had in store that i simply couldnt face it... or perhaps i chose not to face it. This is very unlike me.. I have a strong work ethic and i have perhaps one sick day a year. I guess that this was this years. I went to the main office and spoke about how I was feeling to my boss and then i went home.

Once home I could feel my stress melt away.. it was a lovely feeling.. it lasted for a while.. it was nice.

I feel under great strain generally and have done for months.. but I do cope. I can cope with stress without gambling. Ive had a good workout down the gym this evening and then bought myself something nice for dinner.

Regards to all who read this... S.A 🙂

hi sa great that you came out of you bad feelng today... and doing something too keep you away from gambeling... its nice too relax after a work out... what did you have for tea something nice i hope?? i had a homemade sausage cassarole off my mum lol it was lovely take care shell x

A family size cheese and onion quiche with a tin of heinz beans plonked on top! I was hungry LOL 🙂

mmmmmmmmmmmmm ilove quecie lol at spelling wudnt choose the beans tho lol

🙂