Hope

On a sad note, shortly after my last post I had "the" call to say that my dad had died. Needless to say I have been feeling low since then but also somewhat relieved that his passing came sooner rather than later. He had been in a lot of cancer related pain and he had told me himself that he was ready to go. he lived to 83... 82 years of which he was able to live to the full. Rest in peace dad.

On a related theme. I came aware today that a colleague at work has recently lost her sister at the age of 32! It certainly makes you think doesn't it. Make the most of life, cos ya never know when its gonna end.

No gambling issues.

Thanks for listening

Hi..im so sorry to hear about this. I reached out privately, pls switch the phone bk on...

I'm thankful  for having you in our lives..and ultimately  that would of not been possible  without  the great man your dad is/was.

My sincere condolences ? ❤

S&B xx

So sorry for your loss SA my thoughts are with you & your family.

Best

AL

Good Evening  S.A

Our condolences to you on the passing of your father.

We understand that this would be a difficult time for you and if you ever need to talk or need support you are always welcome to contact Cruse on 0808 808 1677 who will be happy to talk with you. 

All the best

Ricki

Forum Admin

Not sure when you'll see this as I'm moderated but wanted to say I'm so sorry on the passing of your dad. I can't and don't even want to begin to know how your feeling and what your going through. Your not alone. Stay strong. ?

Hi sa, just wanted to drop by and say I'm thinking about you. Big hugs

Hey thank you everybody for your kind words. Am ok and I think my dad is ok as well, recuperating in the after life, in the spirit world. Another life having been lived and planning for the next. Am not being flippant here but that is what I genuinely believe happens. I think even the time of his passing is interesting. The fact that everybody that he would have wanted to say goodbye to had visited, as if he had held on long enough for that to happen. My sister says she saw him in the morning and he seemed quite ok and then 2 hours later she got the call to say that he had gone to sleep and died. best way isn't it? Go to sleep don't wake up.

Anyway am ok. Its just slightly odd that i can't pick up the phone and talk to him. The death of a parent. maybe it will help me mature a bit more. knowing that he's not there to help if I get into trouble in life.

No gambling urges. Life goes on...

Hi S.A.

Ive been away this weekend and just learned of your sad news. I am so sorry for your loss.

I am glad you got to see your Dad prior to his passing.

Take care.

RR

Sincere condolences on the passing of your Dad.

Cherish the memories that you had with him and look after yourself.

NT x

Sorry for your loss mate 

Thanks all x

Today has been horrendous. Worst bout of food poisoning ive ever had. projectile vomiting all night. lovely

Oh nooo,

Sorry to hear you been poorly SA. Hope you're  feeling  better today.

Ps. You need a woman to cook fresh food for ya ?

S&B xx

If you can have my tea ready for about 5pm then SB 😉 x

Well I got up this morning. Am just beginning to recover. I wouldn't wish what iv'e just been through on my worst enemy. The body is a wonderful thing mind. It did what it had to do to get rid of what it didn't like. The convulsions came in three's. The first started the process and the last seemed to half fill the bath tub. I'd then have a break of about half an hour before i'd start to feel incredibly unwell again and we'd go through the whole process once more. It was like that for about 12 hours. At the end of it I was exhausted and aching all over with cold sweats. Lying in bed gave no relief, due to the aching. Cried several times. horrendous.

However this morning I woke up and realised that the worse was over. Aching much reduce. Sickness gone. Ive been drinking Actimels like they are going out of fashion, cos Alexa told me that they were good for recovery from food poisoning. She seems to be right. I crave them now, these little culture shots have saved me. I have no interest in food just now. I pushed some weetabix around the bowl.

If I am to take some positives out of this, I got paid while this was going on and its certainly stopped any thoughts of a gamble in its tracks. I also have rang in sick cos I was sick. First time in several years. I still feel guilty though. Found myself trying to convince people that I really was sick, cos i know how much of a problem peoples sickness causes. Of course its also the case that i live on the financial edge and not getting paid any sickness pay causes problems for me. Its almost like being kicked in the teeth while your down. I think all companies should offer some sort of sick pay scheme. Its scandalous.

Thanks for listening

Awww, SA

So glad you are feeling better. It is awful to have sickness that bad. I experienced similar a couple of years ago and also cried. I can understand what you describe, as being more than a regular tummy bug. My friend had the same illness at the same time, is generally very hardy and stoic and still had someone take her to A and E because she was so unwell. 

Fab that you can take the positives from any situation and glad that something - however nasty - forced your body to rest. The fasting, incidentally, although not deliberate, will have boosted your immune system - hooray!

Well hey yes, my world is just weird and absolutely all over the place at the moment. I can honestly say phhysically I have fully recovered. My appetite returned with avengence last night. I had to get up at midnight and eat lots of marmite on toast. I was craving carbs after days of mainly liquids and those actimel culture shots. This morning I was full of energy, went to work, no problem doing the shift but then it started going wrong when one of the afternoon staff rang in sick and I stayed on. I then found myself working 2 job cards up until 5 to then find the two other afternoon staff sitting in the office and then I being asked if I can do another call, bla bla. At which point I found myself getting angry inside and i new i needed to go. I played the  "i'm still poorly card", i have to go and then I left...

..... and this is the problem isn't it... the more you give the more your asked to give.... the reality being that nobody really gives a flying f**k, we are all just trying to get through the shift in the best way we can and if that means asking somebody whom has been working all day to just do a bit more then so be it....

.... its like am pleased that am well again and so quickly, but am still on an emotional rollercoaster. The whole grieving for my dad has taken a complete back seat whilst i negotiate my way through illness and work shifts. I think i have 6 shifts to go before i have my two weeks leave re funeral etc. maybe then i can get a bit more of a grip on thinmgs.

Must admit though what I am f*****g happy about is this.... I am not gambling and haven't for a while and I have no intemntion of making thiongs worse by gambling. Isn't awful when your going through life stressors and at the back of your mind you know that you av blown your money and ya got 5p sitting in your bank account...just a few days after a pay day. Isn't that just the worst. It compounds everything doesn't it. It just makes life so anxious ridden, like "how the f**k am i going to survive!!"

... but not this time you mudda f****r gambling devil lol... I have aklot more than 5 P my name.

Right I need to chill. Am high as a kite at the moment.

Thanks for listeninbg

Thanks freda xxxxx... and yes the fasting thing... spose to be good for preventing cancer as well.