Hope

Another day passess gambling free. I feel on a level today. I feel i have coped with my issues and my feelings as they have come along..I have even managed a few smiles and laughs with collegues from time to time.

The principle of one day at a time and even one moment at a time does work for me.. very much so. I find that in the past when i have allowed myself to get all worked up about things that have not yet happened it often then ended up in gambling.

I will not forcast what may or may not happen in the future and how I may feel about it. I will also will not dwell on what has happened in the past.

All I have is now. All I have is this moment in time. I will live my life to the best of my abilities...one day at a time.

Regards to all who read this. S.A

Last gamble of any kind was on Sunday 25th May this year

Am fed up today..have been thinking about things and getting wound up..no gambling of course..but must admit have had some vague feelings that a little secret gamble wouldnt do any harm... of course it would in reality I know that and thats why i am here writing about it..it helps just to write it down.

What a difference a day makes..but I guess am living and breathing what i am feeling and not trying to escape from it. Cheese n biscuits needed lol.. Regards to all who read this.

Things ok today..am tired but on a level..enjoyed a swim..work went without incident..feel like i have made a difference in some small way. No urges to gamble. No vague thoughts of it either. Regards to all who read this.

Last gamble of any kind was on 25th May this year

Today has been a good day. No gambling and no urges to gamble. My self-esteem feels good today as well. Its strange how my moods go.. but for whatever reason I have just been feeling positive all day..if only this could continue all day everyday. But then thats ok as well, I can cope with cr** days without running to gambling..am happy about that. Regards to all who read this..S.A

Hi S.A

Just sending you my congrats on staying strong and keeping focussed. I hate the cr***y days..too..really takes all my focus to stay strong, but we do and we should be proud.

Stay strong and hope you have a good week-end

Love and Hugs

xxx Destiny xxx

Another day passes gambling free. Thanks for your thoughts Destiny 🙂

I have had a mild hangover today..but its gradually lifted as the day has gone on..just left with this residual tiredness that will only be cured by a good nights sleep. Some day I will find sufficent motivation not to spend my time standing in noisy pubs on a Friday night drinking beer. Whilst I like the time spent chatting with friends ive gone out with, I find that after that I just get bored and then drinking beer passes the time. Am not really a party animal.. lol. I spose this is the thing of still being single though..one feels obliged to go to these places in the chance that one might meet someone..but for me its not a good environment

Today ive been down the gym..50 mins on the tread mill..bit much really especially as I dont drink any water while running..I find the dehydration hits me hard a couple of hours later.. and as for the munchies.well thats another story.

Am thinking alot about doing a course in September.. I want to do the diploma in counselling but its quite expensive and a big committment and alot of hard work.. I think its the direction I want to go in though..its suits my personality very well I think.. and have very much enjoyed previous counselling courses i have done. I think it would be good for my own recovery from gambling addiction as it would be good for my self-esteem. Helping others to help themselves also helps me. And of course personal development is all part and parcel of it. Am just nervous of taking the plunge.

I think that although my diary hasnt been filled with huge amounts of positivity since I have started it (in part due to on-going issuse at work which I am working through) I am still proud of myself for not gambling (of course) but also how far i have come in life since the dark days of nothingness when every day was a gambling day..when i lived a soulless life aimlessly wandering from arcade to arcade..slot machine to slot machine.. cash point to cash point.. a zombie I was..trapped in my own thoughts.. trapped in a world of potential jackpots.. convincing myself that my gambling was about money when really it was nothing to do with it..trapped in my own hoplessness.

Their was a period when I still had credit cards and debit cards where money was plentiful when I went for months not really having a conversation where I was talk ing about stuff going on for me..with anyone. People did not interest me or so I thought...my thoughts were distorted such was the power my conpulsion to gamble had over me.

I have come along long way since those times... I have made my life better.. I feel better.. I want to live life... One day at a time of course!

Anyway my thoughts have started rolling this evening time to stop now. Regards to all who read this. S.A 🙂

Last gamble was on the 25th of May this year.

Morning SA xx

Rodders 'er....

just a line to say well done on reaching and passing day 75 gamble free xxx there are a whole host of us now up to and past the big 50 I hope you know we're hot on your tail xx

I know what you mean about going to pubs and once the conversation has slowlly dried up and you are left with just the beer !! not really been a drinker myself but often out of politeness end up down the pub...some people have no imagination..lol..

gotta go...best of luck with day 100...it's just around the corner for you xx

Rodders

Thanks for that Rodders... I like your style of writing..puts a smile on my face 🙂

Today has been a good day..feel relatively calm and relaxed in myself..have dealt with little problems and issues as they have come along. Enjoyed a nice sauna after work and have just eaten a load of seriously strong cheddar cheese on water biscuits..but hey thats allowed sometimes 🙂

No gambling urges or vague thoughts of gambling either..all is fine. Regards to all who read this..S.A

Hi S.A. xx

Rodders 'e*e...

just read your post on Charly's diary...Dale would be sooo proud of you xx

tell me have you heard of Zig Ziglar ????

Rodders

Hi S.A.

Thank you for your kind and so very true words in my diary. 🙂

Rodders is right. You can be very proud of yourself for the outlook you have now you've stopped gambling.

Carry on the good work on yourself and on the postive comments you add here.

God Bless

Charly 🙂

Thanks for your thoughts Rodders and Charly 🙂

Today has been a good day. Am just back from a GA meeting..only the second one ive been to in a very long time. It was a good meeting enjoyed listening to others thoughts..a good mix of people struggling and others who have been gambling free for many years. I was the second to speak and found myself a little more nervous than i thought i would be..struggled to find stuff to say. I dont enjoy speaking in groups, partly a confidence thing i guess and partly just my over active nervous system. Perhaps this is part of the reason I am here typing away in my cyber diary. I feel at ease in cyber space the real world and real people is full of uncertainty..cyber space is predictable.

Having said all of this i shall go again to G.A cos i know it does me some good..gets me out and about and around people i have never met before. I think it also adds that sense of accountability. I am accountable both to this my diary and to the G.A group. It helps I think to make oneself accountable. I am working my recovery..cos i know that to not work my recovery..means a gradual drift back to a place where gambling becomes a possibility. But today i have not struggled..as I say..today has been a good day.. and I intend to make tomorrow another good day. Regards to all who read this.

My last gamble of any kind was on Sunday the 25th of May this year

morning dear...

Rodders 'e*e....

just to say 'you don't enjoy' speakin' in groups....can't shut you up in 'chat' !! lol...kidding girl...

Can I just ask you if you need a loan...cos they're giving them away at the moment !!!! just got a small loan I have for ВЈ500....and went on line to do it.....I have been ACCEPTED by at least 6 more...all have written to me offering up to £5k....and knowing ALL my details !!! ...discusting...

companies shouldn't have the right should they...it's a good job I don't visit the park anymore...or could you imagine the damage I could do !!! (aug 12th entry my diary)...

Anyway, enuff ranting...just thought I'd write and tell you I'm thinking of me...I mean you..lol..

have a great week and hear from you in 'chat'...

your friend Rodders

Morning Rodders,

Your not the first to say about chatting with me in groups..alas I think it must be someone with a similar user name.. ive been in once I think and that was quite a while ago. No worries though..thanks for the message :-).. Have a great day

Morning SA.....

just to state that you need to take ALL your medicine...not just the nice stuff xx

luv to you see you in 'chat'...one day then..xx

your friend Rodders

Hi SA, just wanted to say well done for being brave enough ot attend GA. Of the meetings i attend we are getting more and more ladies atteding which enriches the fellowship and keeps us blokes in check..lol but i appreciate how daunting it can be.

Im glad you are getting something from them. Like you i find the mixture of GA and here works for me and that is what i will stick with.Congrats on keep reaching your milestones.

Best wishes

Keith