Thank you everyone for your support and the motivation, I would love to say I’m doing better but I’m not. I haven’t gambled but I nearly did, I found the money I drove to the venue and I walked in with the intention of giving in. I was so lucky, I got a call from a friend just as I got there and she had some personal stuff going on, which made me realise how important life was over gambling. I left. I’ve been very emotional this last couple of days, thinking of the what ifs and the what could have happened, how I can so easily let everyone down, I’m angry at myself for putting gambling over them, over the hard work I’ve put in. God this is so much harder than people could ever imagine. I can’t get this urge to go away, it’s like my mind thinks that if I just do it and get it over with it will stop but I know in my heart what it will lead to where I will end up.
But today I am still physically gamble free, although mentally I feel like I’ve failed, if she hadn’t called at that exact time, I know for a fact I would be back in hell.
Im going to push through today and speak to my partner tomorrow about a plan moving forward for the urges….i cant fail xxx
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